Life is a mixture

AFFECTED!

 PS: What is going to be discussed in this article is based on some of my experience, believes, opinions, and philosophy. So I haven't checked if they were proved scientifically. 

   You are the one who takes steps on your path to success, and you hold a soul that contains of a mind that the believes, thoughts, and opinions take place in and a heart that feels various emotions, and those things ( what happens in mind and heart) is caused by you being affected about someone or sth that made you think, consider, have an opinion about, or made you feel an emotion ( negative or positive), all that because you let that sth or someone in yourself by caring . However, we can control what we don't want to be affected by at all by not caring a single bit about it but if you are concerned about a part of it , then you should fight to control how far it goes inside your soul, in other words you can control to what levels that someone reaches:

FIRST LEVEL: Random simple thoughts pass your mind about that sth or someone.

SECOND LEVEL: . You consider these thoughts and start thinking more about it.

THIRD LEVEL: You try to do or obtain that sth or meet that someone

FORTH LEVEL: You start developing emotions like excitement if it was sth, or you admire and take interest in that someone.

FIFTH LEVEL: You specialize time to try doing that sth or spending time with that someone. 

SIXTH LEVEL: That sth start to consume most of your time and it becomes necessary for you to do that sth, or you get concerned and happy for that someone that you spend so much time with.

SEVENTH LEVEL: You get so attached to that sth or someone that you do or meet  delightfully.

EIGHTH LEVEL: When you are blind ( when you are aware of the bad affects but you still ignore them) of what that someone or sth negatively cause you.

NINTH LEVEL: When you pay anything to do or have that sth, or when you do desperately anything that someone ask you ( when you can't live without that someone or sth).

TENTH LEVEL: When that someone or sth take control over what you believe, what you feel, how you think and what steps you take on your life. You don't dare to take any step if it disagrees with that someone not because you are forced but because you think that this is what you want and need, or that your life will be destroyed without doing or having that sth that you are addicted to.

  NOTE: Don't blame that someone or sth more than you blame yourself for getting affected badly since you were the one who let that sth or someone in, since nothing would have happened if you hadn't let it reach the levels that lead to your harm.

    Although a person or sth can force harm on you from the outside ( life problems or injuries) you should be strong enough to not allow it to reach your heart and mind to the level of controlling and changing your soul or part of it ( thought, emotions, or opinions, characters ) to what you don't want. Surely you might get hurt or that sth might cause you to worry and think about it in order to deal or solve it. However, defend your perspectives from changing and your heart from the highly spread of negative bad feelings such as hatred, jealousy, anger, or from the lack of good feelings like loving, loyalty, kindness, forgiving, no matter what happens in your life you should only let changes ( adding, exchanging, deleting) take apart only when you want to      ( for the purpose of having them or for the purpose of using them for more another purpose ) and is convinced about that.

   You either not care or you do what's better which is:  controlling the affection of that sth or someone on yourself allowing it only to affect you with what you want, which means you get to gain positive affects from that someone or sth since everything holds disadvantages and advantages ( that doesn't mean to be cruel to only take advantages from that person without any real appreciation for that person). 

  In the other hand, there are some people or lifetimes that affect our soul ( perspectives and feelings) before growing up to obtain and acknowledge the power of " not getting affected unless we want so" , which leads us to the sources that the success seeker build his/her soul from which might be for her/his benefit when he/she walk on their path to success since all of us were born in this world without anything but our ability to feel and think freely so we develop and define the emotions and establish the opinions and ideals after getting affected with and who surrounds us( that doesn't mean he/she can't create their own perspectives when they are aware of their free will to get affected or not) :

[ NOTE: The most effective source of them differ from one person to another depending on the amount of perspectives and believes he/she gained from each source and the feelings they developed toward them or because of them, plus how each source put on their affection , and how frequently each source effected you. ]

1) Parents:  

  Parent are the ones who gave birth to you and who's supposedly to raise you and provide you what you need as much as they can and then want. Since they are the ones who live through your childhood and treat you as what they see is right or what they want,  you also witness how they act daily and what models or properties they follow, due to that you might learn from them and follow some of their actions, saying, ethics, or expressions as much as the parents show them specially when you are young ( above 4 years ). Plus how they treat you and deal with you can affect your vision and believes of life, people, and yourself. 

       They either treat you with respect, kindness, strength, honesty, forgiveness, cleverness, independency, ... etc, and so you learn that from them and try to apply them in their life ( if no other influence came and decreased what your parents were building inside of you ). If they treated you with bad negative ways ( cruelty, mercilessness, harshness, dishonesty,  then it's expected of you to either apply those bad stuff or to develop false believes and bad memories for them or wrong thoughts about life, leading you to either have a weak heart with no confidence or ambitions or a cold heart with nothing but darkness, except if sth or someone very touching saved you from turning to this in your childhood or sometimes in your teenage.  

     In addition there's also the solution of changing yourself by yourself when you are aware enough that you have bad ethics that you want to change and you are mature enough to know how and apply. The most period of time that you would be affected with no resistance by effective stuff ( no need for it to be so effective like at adulthood or sometimes at teenage) is from the age of 4 till the end of teenage ( even though there might be exceptions: teenagers who hold strong, almost stable, confident, independent, kind of mature personality ).

     If your past with your parents was miserable almost full of bad memories, then don't let the past affect your present, cure your injuries from them ( if you can) and leave them behind, aiming to have more shinning happier present and better future. If you are truly aware that you don't want to be like your parents or to treat others like they did, then don't, don't let what you don't want even if you were used to , control what you will do and be in the future. DON'T LET THEIR YOUR PAST HAUNT DOWN YOUR PRESENT.

2) LIFE EVENTS   

   If some people take an impression from people at first sight and tolerance, then what they would do if it was a huge unusual situation ? Of course there's bad and good events in life that either can leave a positive effect(s) or a negative one(s) either in the form of thoughts, opinions, and believes or in the form of deep emotions or even scars.