Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

9 (August 12th, 1975)

BRIAN'S POV

It was only 10 p.m. and Roger was already wasted, as well as Freddie.
The two of them did that stupid bet;

Who could drink more vodka in one go?

What an extraordinarily stupid idea!
Roger won by gulping down about half a bottle of vodka at once... And of course it didn't end well for him.

I sighed as he was sitting on the floor, absolutely drunk, still holding the bottle in both of his hands, pressing it down to the floor to support himself a little bit.
The hiccups had caught him as well.

"I wooOON!" he suddenky screamed and Freddie, Deaky and Paul applauded him as they were all rather drunk as well.

That's when Roger let himself fall on his back and closed his eyes. He put his hands on his head and looked at the ceiling.

"Okay, Roger, time to go to bed." I decided for him, pulled him up from the floor and lifted him over my shoulder to carry him upstairs.
I couldn't watch that scenario for much longer. Especially because Paul looked at Roger in a strange way I couldn't really describe. However, I didn't like it.

Roger started whining and boxing into my back.
"NoOo! Let me gooo..! I wanna staaayy.."

I just ignored his whines and struggles and stomped up the stairs.
"Briaaaannn..! Stupid idiot! Let go of me!" he continued.
"I... I gotta..." I heard him gagging and my eyes opened wide as I lifted him from my shoulder.
I looked around helplessly, searching for a bucket or something.
Roger covered his mouth with his hand and just in time I found an umbrella stand. I pushed it towards Roger and he started puking into it.

"Roger, why do you always have to exaggerate?!" I shouted at him in an irritated tone but he didn't really seem to hear me.
"Fuck... Brian... I.."

I sighed, put the umbrella stand aside and helped him get onto his feet again.
I brought him into his room which was a mess.
His clothes were distributed all over the floor and his bed wasn't made.
For the millionth time this evening I sighed and made the younger boy sit on his bed.

"Can you undress yourself?" I asked Roger, looking at him with a serious but at the same time concerned face.

He just nodded and started trying to unbutton his shirt - which didn't work out at all.

I decided to watch him for a while as he was so cute struggling with his shirt.
He pouted and started pulling on his shirt agressively.
That's when I decided to act - well, I wanted to but as soon as I thought of undressing Roger I became really really nervous.

I gulped and felt my cheeks turn hot.
"Roger, should I help you undress?" I asked quietly, hoping he would say no so I wouldn't be in that awkward situation but at the same time I wanted to.
I wanted to undress him and look at him, his fragile body, his beautiful gestalt...

Roger looked at me with his incredibly tired gaze and red eyes, then he nodded slowly. "Yes, please..."

I took a deep breath, then turned my body towards him. I grabbed him by his waist and turned him towards me as well, then I started unbuttoning his denim shirt which was harder than expected as my hands were shaking quite a lot.
I started sweating, my face was incredibly hot by now.

I could feel Roger's gaze on my face.
At that exact moment I was really glad that he was as drunk as he was.

His bare upper body was slowly starting to expose as I opened up more and more of his blue denim shirt and he looked so incredibly soft. I tried to resist the strong urge to touch him as I became more and more excited.

Suddenly I could feel two hands digging into my long curls. I glanced up at Roger's face with big eyes.
His gaze was still fixated on my eyes as he started to speak:

"You know... I just discovered your secret."

I gasped.
What?
How did he find out that I was in love with him?! Was it my gaze? My red face? The fact that I was so nervous next to him? Did he notice the way I was eyeballing his upper body, wanting to touch him?

Suddenly, my face felt even hotter which I didn't think could be possible.

"W- What? How? I- I mean... What secret?" I tried to play the innocent one as I separated our gazes and looked at the ground instead.

I felt Roger leaning closer towards me, then whispering into my ear:

"If you change the i and the a in your name, it says Brain. That's why you are so clever..."

Silence filled the room as I didn't know how to answer to that utterly stupid statement. I took a deep breath, then I burried my face inside my hands.

'He is drunk, Brian. He can't think straight' I tried to calm myself down as I looked at the drunk Roger giggling right next to me.