Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

29 (November 12th, 1975)

ROGER'S POV

I had fled into my room by now and I had locked the door. I didn't want Freddie to see me as angry as I was because I sure wasn't in the mood to answer any silly questions.

What a disaster!
Brian just couldn't act like a normal, responsible person at all. He wasn't being serious with our relationship and he was embarrassed of it. Of me. Of himself being with me.
And our tour was coming up and I'd have to deal with his presence for months now.
We would see each other constantly, without interruption.
I was not looking forward to it..

I sighed and let myself fall back into the soft bed, facing the ceiling.
It was white, blank, like my emotions at that very moment.
My anger had disappeared into thin air all of a sudden and everything felt strange.

I felt tears form in my eyes but I supressed them.
Why would I want to cry now?
This was certainly not the first relationship I was about to end.
So many girls had cried because of me...

I've always broken up because of simple reasons.. Like them being too bossy, too girly, not animal friendly enough, too much of a good girl...
And those had been cheap excuses all along because I wasn't ready to tell them that the only reason for me to break up with them was that I simply didn't love them.
I wanted to love all of them but I couldn't.

But this time it was different because I did feel love for Brian.
Obviously he didn't love me, though.
He treated me like I had treated those girls...
Suddenly I felt bad and my anger started to grow again. Anger for Brian and for myself.

BRIAN'S POV

I got into my car and started heading towards my bandmates' flat.
I decided to visit the bakery first, so I could get Roger a little something from there. A little surprise because he sometimes forgot to have lunch.

Right afterwards, I entered the tall building - third floor.
As always, climbing all those stairs was quite exhausting but still quicker than using that old and rusty elevator - and probably saver.

I knocked on the wooden door and waited, bouncing up and down on my toes a little.
The building was old and dilapidated, the hallway blank and empty.
Many flats next to each other, just perfect for cheap, shared rooms for students.

The door opened with a loud squeak and Freddie appeared infront of me, with just a towel wrapped around his hips, covering his lower body just until above his knees.
He raised his eyebrows in surprise as he discovered me.
"Bri? What a surprise! Come in!" He laid his arm around my shoulders and shoved me into the flat, closing the door behind us.
"Oh, you didn't have to!" The singer laughed as he took the paper bag with the pastries out of my hands.
"It's actually for Roger" I answered and smiled at him.
Freddie just shrugged. "Well, bad for him" He took a pastry out of the bag and flung himself onto the couch, taking a bite out of the baked good.

"Where is he, actually?" I looked around; the flat was surprisingly tidy for Roger's and Freddie's standards.

Freddie shrugged again. "In his room, I assume.. Darling, those croissants are amazing! Where did you get them from?"
"From the bakery right across your flat" I answered but my gaze had already concentrated on the door leading into Roger's room.

ROGER'S POV

I could hear Brian's voice from the living room and my heart started racing.
I sat up straight and stared at the door.
My room was dark as I had closed the blinds.
What was Brian doing here?
Why would he come over if he was too busy to be around me?
He probably had a guilty conscience.
That's why he came over.
To throw one of his quick sorries at me and then disappear again.

I heard a knock on my bedroom door.
"Roger? Hey, are you there? Come out, I brought some pastries."

True, I'd forgotten to eat lunch again.

I would not.
I simply didn't answer.
Screw Brian, I didn't want to see him.

BRIAN'S POV

Roger didn't answer and I glimpsed back at Freddie who had changed from croissants to wine by now.
"Are you sure he's here?" I asked.
Freddie nodded.
I knocked again.
"Rog, what's wrong? Are you in your cupboard mood again?"
I heard Freddie chuckling at my joke.
But no peep from Roger.

I frowned and joined Freddie on the couch.
He would have to come out of his room eventually.
What an odd behaviour.

ROGER'S POV

Now he was even making fun of me!
I switched on the light in my room instead of opening the blinds, then I stepped infront of thr mirror right next to my wardrobe.
The reflection showed my messy hair and red and swollen eyes.
I quickly fixed my hair a little and rubbed my eyes.
I took a deep breath and waited a little longer for my eyes to turn back to normal.
Then I left my room.

I glanced over at Brian with a sharp gaze.
"What are you doing here? I thought you were busy?" I hissed at him.
The guitarist raised his eyebrows and changed his seating position, sitting up straight.
"No, I've never said that." He claimed.

I wheezed. "Ohhh, right, you are never busy, I forgot! You just had to practice and meet family members and meet friends and study and read books instead of spending some time with your boyfriend!"

I saw the shock in Brian's face and how it turned bright red immediately.
Freddie choked on his wine.
"Brian, you have a boyfriend?" he coughed with his eyes wide open.

I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes.
"Oh, you didn't know that, Freddie?" I teased and a bittersweet smile formed on my lips.

Brian opened his mouth a little as to say something but I could tell that he was speechless and shocked, so he remained quiet.