Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

50 (November 23rd, 1975)

BRIAN'S POV

We arrived in Bournemouth at about ten in the morning. The concert would be in the evening, so there was still some time left to explore the city; it was rather small compared to London, but very sweet. I loved the sea sight.

The four of us had split up, as Freddie really wanted to go shopping.
He took John with him, not giving the youngest of the group an option; he just grabbed his arm and pulled the bass player with him.
Roger and me decided to enjoy the view at 'Boscombe Pier'  and for the first time after our break up I sat right next to Roger, on the sandy beach.
As much as I loved watching the calm English Channel in the morning sun, I couldn't keep my eyes off of Roger.
I didn't even need to look at the sea, his eyes had the exact same colour - light blue with a hint of grey mixed in and they even reflected the same calmness.
Everything was quiet, the only thing that could be heard was the even crashing of the calm waves on the beach a few feet in front of us.

Oh, how I missed his affection.

Roger seemed to notice my stare and turned his head towards me.
"What?" He asked, his voice sounded slightly annoyed.
I felt my face turn hot immediately and I quickly separated my gaze and stared at the sea with big eyes.
"Uhm... The sea is nice, don't you think?"
"Yeah."
My eyes wandered towards the sand and the tiny different sea shells covering it.
I felt sad. Roger hated me and I hated myself as well, I could understand him.

During the last few days I didn't sleep much, I kept thinking about everything and I was awfully tired that day.
I had destroyed my life - in which someone loved me more than anything else - within one night. Roger loved someone else now and I couldn't change it. 
Oh, how I wished that I could turn back the time and do everything differently...

"I'm so sorry, Rog..." I whispered.
I knew that my apology wouldn't fix anything, I just wanted Roger to know that I was truly sorry that I hurt him.
"You always are." He answered, his gaze fixated on the sea.
"I mean it..."
"And still you continue fucking things up. It's not like an apology can fix all your mistakes, you know."
I sighed. "I know... And I don't even expect that. I just wanted to apologize for existing I guess... For causing you pain..."

Now he looked at me again, I could feel his eyes on my face.
He picked up a small shell from the ground, eyed it up for a moment, then he gave it to me.
"Just a break, remember?" He smiled as I took the small, pinkish shell, looking at it slightly confused.
"What's that for?" I asked.
He shrugged. "I think it looks nice, so I thought I'd give it to someone who caused me pain." He smirked at me.

I felt horrible. I looked at the small shell in my hand, nearly tearing up because of the guilt crushing my heart.
After a while I closed my hand, holding the shell carefully.
"I miss you..." I whispered underneath my breath, still looking at my hand.

ROGER'S POV

Seeing Brian sad like that broke my heart because I could imagine what was going on inside his head but I wouldn't give in just like that.
Brian should feel what it was like being without me and he should see that I wasn't easy to get, that I didn't depend on him.
I did miss him too, though. Quite a bit.
His gentle touches, our evening conversations in which he told me about the stars and badgers, his soft and curly hair, his affection and his warm lips...

"You gotta try then." I simply answered emotionless and let my gaze wander towards the ocean again.
From the corner of my eyes I could see him bury his face in his hands and he sighed.
"How...? You hate me. I hate myself. Everyone hates me. Because I'm so, so stupid and I fuck everything up because I don't know how to act in front of people - especially in front of you."

I frowned and snorted. "Why me? Am I making you insecure or something? Is it my incredible sexiness?"
"Yes..." His answer was muffled as his face was still hidden behind his hands.
I laughed. "Really?"
"Everything about you, Roger. The way I feel around you makes me so nervous..." Now he looked up and peeked towards me. "And then I ruin things again."

I nodded. "You know, John is exactly the same, for that matter." I grinned and took some sand, letting it run through my fingers.
"I can choose between the two of you, you know."
I saw how Brian's gaze got darker as he looked back at the ocean.

"But you've got one thing that Deaky doesn't have."

Now he seemed to be interested again as his gaze brightened up and wandered towards me.

"You've got a big di-"

I was interrupted by Freddie who was shouting and waving at us from the distance. He ran towards us.
"Rog, Bri! There you are! Oh, I've found the most amazing jacket, you have to come and see it, darlings!"

I got up from the ground and trotted towards Freddie, peeking at the jacket curiously. It looked quite nice.

"A big what?" I heard Brian from behind. "A big heart?"

I ignored him, though. He would have just been embarrassed if I told him in front of the others. And despite that, it was just supposed to be a joke to tease him a little. I hadn't seen Deaky's, so I wasn't in the position to judge.
"That jacket is really cool!" I cheered. "Where'd you get it from? I want one too!"
"Oh, we can go there again, darling! It's a huge shopping centre in Boscombe, about twenty minutes from here." Freddie seemed to be really excited about the shopping centre so I decided to follow him there.