Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

26 (October 12th, 1975)

BRIAN'S POV

Back in London, things weren't really working out for us anymore.

The tracks were recorded and everything had been a great success until now, even though we had been worried about not finishing everything in time.
But there was a tiny problem with our record label, EMI;
Our label boss Roy Featherstone wasn't thrilled by our song Bohemian Rhapsody at all.

"it's not bad but... That hideous operatic part, what's that supposed to be?" Featherstone raised an eyebrow, holding his cigarette between his index and middle finger whilst looking at the recording he had just listened to.
"And it's way too long, girls. I'm sorry. Nobody will play that." He rebuked whilst inhaling some smoke of his Marlboro cigarette.
He casually called us girls or ladies because of our band name Queen but we all knew that it was just friendly teasing.

Featherstone usually liked our music a lot. That's why we were all dazzled by him not liking Bohemian Rhapsody.
We certainly knew that it was different from everything we had done up until now but that's what Queen was all about;
not reproducing the same things over and over again, being experimental, trying out new things and being different.

"I didn't pay for that and I won't unless you change a few things, my sweethearts. Listen."
He leaned over, his elbows on his desk and his chin in his hands.
"What did you think whilst composing this thing, huh? Or, did you think at all?"
I could see our reflections in his sunglasses as he hit his hand on the contract infront of him.
"You have to cut it down. Three minutes. Not one second longer. Cut out that operatic part, then it should he fine."
Again, he inhaled some smoke, then he put out the cigarette butt on an ash tray next to his coffee mug.

"No." Freddie simply answered. "It's going to stay like this. No changes whatsoever. This is the song and there's not going to be an edit." He lifted up his chin and peaked at the label boss from above, showing him that he wouldn't change his mind.
We all nodded in agreement to Freddie's announcement and I saw Roger cross his arms, looking at Featherstone with narrow eyes to show his position. So I did the same to make an impression.

Featherstone remained silent for a few moments, then he took out another cigarette and lit it.
"Radio edits are no longer than three minutes nowadays. You have to deal with it."
He coughed, then he continued. "I don't think we are progressing here." His gaze fell onto the contract right infront of him on the table again.
"I really like the song but I need something shorter, ladies."
His gaze wandered over all of our faces, we could just see our own reflections inside the pitch black pilot's sunglasses.
"Think about it. I want your answer by tomorrow. Have a nice evening."

Roger wanted to start something, I could see it in his sparkly eyes and his arched eyebrows but Featherstone's assistant led us out of the office before we could even react properly.

"That idiot!" Roger raged as soon as we were outside the building. "Doesn't he understand that the song has to stay the way it is to make sense??"
"Duh!" Freddie rolled his eyes. "They're just some kind of uneducated pack!" Out of frustration he threw his hands up in the air.

So, the two beef sisters had found their topic again.

I sighed and heard Deaky do the same.
"I'm gonna do the three minute edit.." the bass player mumbled quietly towards me and I nodded. "Good, thank you."

Then, we could finally return to our homes or rather to our cheap and dilapidated flats.
Actually, I wasn't really looking forward to it.
Our time at the Rockfield farm had been amazing.
Especially the wonderful memories I could share with Roger.
I would miss that time a lot. Also, the nature had been very relaxing and it had been a great distraction from our usual city life.

We went for a few drinks at a bar to finish off the evening and at about half past ten I said goodbye to my band mates and drove home.
I was awfully tired and I was looking forward to falling into my bed.

I regretted not asking Roger to come along and sleep over but then again Freddie would have noticed as he was sharing a flat with Roger at the time.

I still didn't want anyone to know about us even though Roger and I had been dating for almost exactly two months now..
I was still quite scared, actually.

--

My flat was quiet and cold.
Only a few police sirens from far away and subtle car sounds from the street prevented the complete silence to take over the dark flat.

I sighed as I took off my coat to hang it onto the stand.
As much as I liked being alone at times, I hated being lonely.
When I was lonely, I always started to think and I thought about way too much and way too deep.
That was also the reason why I hadn't been able to find happiness within my existence up until now, since I could remember.

I wasn't allowed to keep pets in this flat either which made the room feel even colder and lonelier.
Also, tonight the bedside next to me would stay empty.
No warm and soft Roger who would sleep calmly right next to me, hugging and kissing me, loving me...

I entered my bedroom.
Empty. Cold. Dark. Blue.
And so, the everyday routine as it had been before slowly started to creep up again.