Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

55 (November 30th, 1975)

JOHN'S POV

I was sitting on the wooden bench, covered in some old, washed out fabric covers with flower patterns on them which complimented my yellow and baby pink floral shirt just nicely.

I spinned the white and blue mug, which was filled with some good old Earl Grey, in my hands slowly, whilst I was staring at it with a blank face, my elbows resting on the table for two, in the last corner of the dilapidated diner; but I was sitting alone. The seat across the small table was empty and cold.
At least it was a calm place.
I was the only customer next to an elderly couple which was sitting a few tables away from me, right next to the window.

I felt devastated and I couldn't quite tell why, but then I started assuming:
Maybe it was just me overthinking things again; being in love could surely hurt one's soul.
But I had been thinking about Freddie's words.
What if it was true? What if something like 'being in love' was actually influencable? But then again, why should I choose to be in love with Roger?
Of course; we were good friends, he was very handsome and funny and we got along well together.
But there was Brian. And Roger belonged to Brian, there was no doubt. There had always been some special kind of connection between the two of them, I could sense it since the day we've met.

I didn't sense that strong type of feelings towards Roger before the night we kissed.
That kiss had changed my feelings towards him completely.
Even though I couldn't remember that the person I kissed had been Roger at first, I could remember what the kiss was like and I still felt it on my lips.

I had fallen in love with Roger's affection and his nice words; I had fallen in love with the fact that someone cared about me.

But I was wrong.
He didn't.
Not in that way.

He cared about Brian, I had just been an experiment it seemed like.
And it broke my heart.

The sip of tea whilst holding back my tears was bitter and hot, it burned on my tongue but that didn't matter.
Nothing mattered anymore, because no-one cared.
No-one, not even myself.

BRIAN'S POV

Roger was scribbling in his small note book, not paying attention to me at all.
"So, Roggie.." I took a sip of my steaming hot coffee which filled my whole body with warmth and enlivened me immediately.
"What are you writing there? A new song?"
I smiled and raised my head a little to be able to catch a glimpse of the scrawled letters on the small page.

He just shook his head without interrupting his writing.
"What is it then?" Now I leaned my chin on my hand, elbows propped on the wooden table im front of me.

"It's a strategy I'm working on" the blond one started to explain.
"A strategy to get John and Fred together."
I frowned. "I don't think that's a good idea..." My voice sounded concerned.
"Trust me, Bri, it's going to be great!" He chuckled and grabbed his cup of coffee just to down half of it in one go.

"I trusted you many times, actually, Rog. And until now you've always managed to disappoint me..."
He rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Could you stop being a mum for once, Bri?" Then he handed me the piece of paper he had been scribbling and writing on.
I read it, then my eyes wandered towards the baby blue eyes infront of me.
I slowly shook my head.
"No."
"Oh, Brian, come on! Help me with this, please!" He begged, banging his fist on the table.

"Roger, stop interfe-"
"I don't want Deaky to be hurt like that because of me!"

I stared at him for a moment, then I gave in and sighed.
"Okay, I'll help you. Or at least I won't stop you.." I reassured and pushed the hand written text back to his side of the table.

I could understand him somehow. He didn't want his band mate to develop harsh feelings towards him and it was probably even for the better to fix this wicked situation like this - to keep the band at peace.

ROGER'S POV

The evening came quicker than expected and we found ourselves in front of a completely filled Hammersmith Odeon.

It was amazing, Freddie was gorgeous as always, delivering a breathtaking show to the fans.
Brian nailed all of his soli whilst looking incredibly cool with his curly rocker hair and Disco Deaky struck again with his entertaining little dance moves whilst completely forgetting the world around him and just playing our songs.

After a few songs, I could clearly detect that Deaky was exaggerating with his usual cocktail bar behind his bass rig, though - he was slowly getting quite drunk.
I couldn't do anything, though. We were in the middle of a concert!
And the others didn't notice what was going on.

He still played okay, so I just decided to ignore his now rather tipsy and clumsy dance moves on the far right corner.

But after our last song, everything happened so quickly, I couldn't even react properly;
I ended the song by hitting the floor tom and the high tom, whilst the guitar and the bass sounds were fading into the room.

From the corner of my eyes I saw how Deaky grabbed his bass guitar with both hands, turned towards me and flung the instrument in my direction, missing me by a few metres.
Hatred and sadness defined his face as he was looking at me, before he rushed from the stage.

With a shocked face I tried to process what had just happened.
The three of us left on the stage tried to play it cool and ended the concert the usual way by bowing infront of the crowd.

After we had left the stage, I saw Freddie knocking on the door to Deaky's dressing room but he didn't receive an answer.
I was very worried now.
He had just destroyed one of his bass guitars in an attempt to kill me - and were speaking about something beautiful, very valuable. The bass guitar hadn't been cheap, either.

"Darlings, what the hell happened? Where did he go?" Freddie was clearly concerned about Deaky - as well as I was.