My Hero Academia Imagines

Touch Starved (Todoroki Shouto)

Todoroki Shouto:

He was always rather distant when it came to even the most basic physical forms of affection. You attempted to hold his hand, only for him to apologize and pull away. You would want to hug him, only for him to gently push you back. Not to mention how he had left you hanging several times when you attempted to kiss him or kiss a part of him.

And it was beginning to make you feel down. You knew going into the relationship that Todoroki was not the biggest person on physical affection. But you had assumed he would get past it the longer you dated and the more he got to know and trust you.

But it appeared to be the opposite. Instead of wanting to further get comfortable with your small but warm advances of touch, he would shy away further. SOmetimes going as far as to walk away from you if he felt like you would attempt to touch him.

Now it wasn't like you were overbearing with these touches either, but rather only did so when you both were relaxing or in a situation where eyes would not be on him. You wanted affection, as you were in a romantic relationship with Todoroki.

Maybe you were not a good match for him after all? He obviously needed someone who would be okay with his aversion to touch, and you were not that person. You just wanted to be with him and let him know how much your adored him. But you struggled t say it, and instead opted to show your true feelings through touch.

Something that he was not receiving, thus not getting or knowing how you felt about him.

However, unknowingly to you, he did in fact know what you were feeling. He knew you wanted to hold him and hug him, kiss him... and all those similar physical affections. And he wanted it too, he wanted them so so so badly.

But he was stuck. Stuck feeling like he would hurt you if you got any closer to him: physical or emotional. He was guarded for a reason, his past and family being a bit too much to bare. Let alone the thought of your relationship with him turning and souring as time went on.

But he could also see what this distance had done to his relationship: you had started pulling away, not attempting to show him those affectionate smiles or giggles like at the start. Nor did you even try to hug him or hold his hand anymore, it was like you had given up on him.

No. That wasn't fair. You had not given up on him. He still received your text messages daily as well as a hello in the morning and your company at lunch. What he had done was not make you push him away, but rather you act how you assumed he wanted you too.

And that was even less fair. He, unknowingly so, had shaped his kind and loving girlfriend into a emotionless and distant one. In better terms, he had turned her into him when it came to showing her love.

And it was slowly eating away at him, that guilt. He didn't mean for this to happen, but it always seemed like no matter what, he always hurt the people he most cared about.

So maybe that was why he was standing outside your dorm room at past midnight. He couldn't sleep, or even clear his mind. He needed to see you, and let you know he would try to be better.

He wanted to tell you that he should be the one changing for you, and not the other way around. But he froze on the spot when it came to actually doing so. He tucked his hand back into his side and looked away.

All he had to do was knock on the door! Why was it so hard? Just a simple knock and then tell you he would be better and for you not to give up on him! Yet, why was it hard for him to do?

Was it because... he had never felt that warm affection that you so generously were offering him? Did he fear what might come with it? Commitment? Love? Understanding?

Before he could rationalize or rather irrationalize it any further, he heard the door squeak open. He jumped back slightly, not expecting it to open. When he glanced at the open doorway he could see the holder of his heart.

She looked tired, rubbing her eyes from sleep and giving off a small yawn. Her pajamas were wrinkled and her hair messy. Did she just wake up?

"Shouto? Are you okay? What time is it?" You muttered, seeing your boyfriend standing there so sadly, a frown on his face.

He sighed, watching as she got concerned over him without so much as a word from him. She really could read him well, couldn't she? He glanced around the hallway, feeling awkward just standing there.

Once again she noticed and ushered him into her room. He followed and bee lined for her bed, taking a seat near the end of it. She closed the door to her room before following him, worry crossing her features yet again at his depressed behavior.

You paused at the bed and looked up at him, smiling sadly and sweetly. "You can tell me anything you know."

He bit his lip, knowing he was the reason that statement had changed. In the beginning she would say just that, but add an offer of hugging him till he felt better. Now it was gone, her believing he would not like to hear it.

"I'm sorry..." He spoke, glancing at her form, eyes of (eye color) gleaming at him. "You've done so much to make me feel more comfortable... but at the cost of your own happiness."

"What are you talking about?" You kept your voice positive and supportive, smiling at him. No soft hand or slight brush of his shoulder like it used to be.

"I've been terrible to you. I'm sorry... I should have made it past my own problems by now and realized you should not be placed with them. But here I am, realizing it too late."

"Shouto. If this is about you not liking being touched, it's fine. I get it."

"No..." He accidentally spat back, silver and blue striking you. "It's not that I don't' want to be touched... I'm just so-"

He stopped, realizing he had no idea how to say it. This feeling in his heart of wanting to embrace her, but also fearing it. How could those two emotions exist in him at once? It should be one of the other.

"Could it be you're afraid?" You spoke gently, this time returning that warm hand to his own. "We could take it slow and not make it overbearing if you want. You can't just jump into this if you've been touch starved."

"Touch starved?" He echoed back, looking confused.

"It means it's been awhile since you receive affection and don't know how to handle it."

He nodded. There was a word for this feeling after all. "I could try."

You nodded and lifted up your bed sheets. "Do you want to sleep in here tonight then? You can lay next to me and if you feel ready you can cuddle with me or even just hold my hand?"

He nodded slowly, moving in after you. His face blossomed pink when you felt you so near him, but it felt so nice. The air holding your scent, the sheets being the perfect temperature and now the slow and gradual way he pulled you into him.

"Are you sure you're comfortable?" You voice muffled out from his chest.

"Yes... this is nice."

"You're really comfy Shouto."

He pet your hair, watching as your form relaxed and heard your breathing die down. You must have been really tired to fall asleep this fast. Though he couldn't blame you, this was extremely comfortable.

And as such, he was not far behind. It was the best night's sleep he had in a long while.