Bunch of MENDOZAs

Chapter 50

I roamed my eyes at the men in front of the dining table. I don't know how to start a word to them... I can't even look at them. It's Friday evening. Imbes na nasa school kami para programs, nandito kami ngayon sa dining area, tinitignan ang mga pagkain.

About what happened after the happenings? Their mothers and Mr. Nick spent some time here and I had to stay at Mavie's place because obviously, the mothers don't want me around. Kanina lang ako dumating at nakahanda na ang lahat sa mesa for dinner.

I faked a cough. "The foods look good Aki. Let-"

"Mom cooked those before leaving which I reheated for dinner." He cut me off.

His tone is back to usual; not sarcastic, not angry.

"Oh. Okay. Kain na tayo." I smiled at them.

I guess this is all I have to do. Act like the first time... act like those kinds of stuff never happened.

Nagsimula na kaming kumain at nakakabingi yung katahimikan. No one's making a noise and neither of them is trying to look at me. It makes me sadder.

"Guys..." I started. "I'm sorry for everything."

With that, they looked at me and waited for more.

"I didn't mean for those things to happen. And I honestly never wanted to hurt any of you... it won't happen again." I looked at them one by one. "Let's forget the things that brought us here. Dapat nga naman kasi hindi ko pinersonal ang dapat trabaho lang."

My own words are breaking my heart but they have to be said.

Yumuko ako dahil nakita ko kung paano malungkot ang mga mata niya. "Let's start it like the first time... I'm here for salary, not to have a guy. I'm very sorry Zaine..." I looked at him and showed the every guilt in my eyes, before turning to look at him. "I'm very very sorry Brile. I'm sorry guys I became selfish."

Lahat sila nakikinig lang sa 'kin and it made me wanna cry again. But I suppressed the tears and smiled instead.

"Iiwan niyo rin ako. So start being independent without me. Start forgetting me as well. Hindi ko alam kung magkikita kita pa tayo pagkatapos nito."

I wanna cry. Honestly. Remembering the conversation I had with Mr. Nick... my heart is aching. After this school year, I'll never have to see any of them again.

"Bakit ate? Why does it sound like you are saying good bye but then you're telling us to have a brand a new start?" Zahir painfully said. "Bakit parang hinihintay mo nalang na matapos ang days na pag-stay namin dito tapos hindi kana namin makikita? Does it has something to do of your talk with papa?"

And my tears fell. Do I have to tell them? Do I have to tell them that their grandfather told me that after my job's done, I will be flying to England and will never have to communicate to any of them because that's what their mothers wanted? Kailangan ko bang sabihin na konti nalang ang panahon na pwede ko silang makasama?

"Zahir, hindi 'to tungkol doon. Kahit naman ano pa'ng mangyari matatapos at matatapos din ang trabaho ko sa inyo. When you guys are already back home, you can go back to your old lives without an annoying Xyzzy. You guys don't have to include me in your lives." I whispered the last words to prevent my sobs. "Not everyone will stay, simply because not everyone are meant to."

"Akala ko ba you will be there to guide me." Zahir's voice broke as his tears rush down.

Agad akong tumayo at lumuhod sa side niya. "Zahir... you are already a big guy. I know you will be fine without me."

I hold his hands as tight as I could. I hate it that he's very lonely. I hate it that I'm telling them they should forget me.

"Parang wala akong mommy. I never felt to have a mom or someone who cares until you. Sana pala hindi ka nalang din dumating sa buhay ko kung iiwan mo rin ako." He wiped his tears and hurriedly went upstairs despite of my call.

Tumayo ako at nagpunas ng luha saka sila hinarap ulit. "Maiintindihan niyo soon. But I'm just here... guiding you for money." And I ran upstairs.

Oh God. Please help me do the right things.

I cried as much as I can, as hard as I can with my back on the door the moment I reached my room.

Sana hindi ko nalang tinanggap ang trabahong 'to. But honestly I never thought of liking any of them instead. I don't know what the hell I did to mess my life. They are Mendoza's. They deserve nothing but the best, he deserves the best... and I'm not that one. Kahit kalian hindi ako pwede sa kahit sino sa kanila. They deserve someone far way different from me.

I stood, walked to my bed and cried myself to sleep.

"Why does all of these have to happen?"

I heard him whispering those words... am I dreaming?

"Why do I have to let go a woman I love? How did things become are very complicated because of simple things?"

I felt a kiss on my forehead and it feels so real.

"Why do you have to give up easily?"

I felt arms embracing me tightly that made me open my eyes, realizing I'm not dreaming.

I met his stares... shining beautiful eyes. He's beside me, arms wrapped around me. His lips almost touching mine.

"Brile?" I whispered.

"I wanna beg to everyone." He said with loneliness. "I wanna beg them to let us be happy. Mom told me I should consider Zaine liking you, that it's not good. They told us, me to find someone else. And I want to beg to her again."

And a tear rolls down as he pulls me for a hug and kissed my forehead.

"I can't blame mom. Sobra siyang nadala kay Breii. I really can't understand but I have to oblige." He hugs me tighter as continues to kiss my forehead. "Sana kapag pwede na wala ka pang iba."

His warm hug, soft voice and words made me cry onto his chest.

I hug him tighter. "Hindi naman kasi talaga tayo bagay. Any of you doesn't deserve me."

"Please don't say that."

"I'm just a poor lonely girl. I'm nothing Brile-"

He stopped my word with a deep kiss that made more tears fall.

"Please baby don't say that. Please don't." He smacked a kiss again and cupped my face. "Please fight with me. Let's keep this a secret. Please please."

My eyes widen with what I heard. "Pero Brile, paano kung malaman na naman ng iba? I Zaine? Mga pinsan mo? Ang mommy mo?"

"I don't care kahit magkamatayan kami ni Zaine o itakwil ako ni mommy." He shook his head. "Hindi lang maintindihan ni mommy dahil galit siya. Nagkasagutan lang sila ni tita Elaine but I know one day she'll understand."

"Si Zaine Brile, naaawa ako sa kanya." I honestly said.

"Sa 'kin ba hindi ka naaawa?" He sadly said. "Xy I'm crazy over you. What did you do to me?"

"Brile-"

"I love you. Do you love me?"

My eyes are locked on his that I couldn't look away. I find myself saying the truth through the words "I love you too".

He smiled genuinely at me and kissed my eyes. "Please fight with me. Fight with me, be with me secretly, be with me soon, shouting about our love once things are where they should be."

Ngumiti ako sa kanya habang dumadaloy ang mga luha ko. I don't know where this would lead me again but I can't help it anymore. Hindi ko kaya na wala na sa 'kin si Brile. I love this moron. And I answered him through a passionate kiss.