Silent tears slide down my face, leaving dark trails behind them.
Why am I crying? I don't feel anything.
I'm used to the pain.
It's nothing anymore.
I feel numbed, as if every nerve in my body has died and left me with just a shell, a shell that is slowly cracking.
Blood, something that used to bother me, is running down my arm. The sight of it used to terrify me, but now ... It's just ... Blood. Another thing that I've grown used to.
Everyone breaks, and sadly today is the day for me to do just that.
I sit up against the cold shower tiles with my legs pulled to my chest and my head resting on my knees. I can't seem to stop the tears. I don't usually cry - I never can cry. I hate crying, I hate how it makes me feel so weak. I hate that I can never seem to stop.
I can't kill myself, The Lord doesn't want me. nobody does, not even myself. If there is anyone in this world that hates me more than anything it's definitely myself.
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I feel as if hours have gone by, but I never can be sure. I stand up on my wobbly legs and step from the shower.
I look at myself in the mirror and stare back at the thing in front of me. Plain brown hair, dull green eyes that look more brown now then green.
My body is bony, and pale.
I tear my eyes away from the mirror and stare down at my feet. I should probably get dressed before he gets back.
He as in my adoptive father. At least that's what it says on paper, I despise calling him any word that is close to 'father' because he is far from being a Dad. Maybe when I was little I would call him that, but after my adoptive mother died because of cancer, He flipped, he was a complete different man. He no longer was there for me, I spent two months alone missing my mom, alone at the age of fourteen with no one there for me ... That was when I first started to fall apart. The second week of me being alone in my room after my mom passed away, at the time I had only heard of depression, but I never understood it until I felt so much sadness and had nothing to let it out on but myself. And so I did. And that's when it all started.
A/N
I would just like to say, this story is more on the sad note than the happy note. but I promise it will have its exciting moments once it gets going, as of right now I wanted to start it off sad, so that you can really feel how I want my character to be: ) And I PROMISE the chapters will be longer. x
YOU ARE READING
TROUBLED (completed) (re-writing)
Teen FictionThe worst feeling is when you feel nothing at all. The pain that hurts the most is the one you can't even feel because you're used to it. I'm Hayden Flloyd - Well that's the name I used to go by, I'm just a nobody now. I'm that girl you occasionally...
