Arranged Marriage - Shawn Mendes

28

I beamed into the hotel room- Shawn had gotten a surprise as I bounced over to him and leaped on top of him. He groaned as I leaped and wobbled on him by shaking my legs like a fish- he was laughing as he allowed me to squish him. "What are you doing?" He questioned laughing as I stopped grabbing is face in my hands, squishing his cheeks and pecking his lips. He smiled as he flipped me over so I'm under him- he replicated my fish movements, but as he is way heavier than I am, I was literally crushed.

I closely eyed Shawn, watching him put his shirt on- man, this guy had abs- caught in a trance, I continued to blankly stare at Shawn until he caught my eye smiled, giggled and flushed red covering his face as he struts over to me.

"I'm really going to miss you" Shawn fiddles with my hair as an exasperated sigh leaves his lips, I turn around to see his face- it was solemn, a look of disparity between his eyes, and his evident frown became apparent. His lip began to quiver as his eyes began to well up with pools of water waiting to spill out. A single tear slips, followed by a steady stream of others. I take Shawn into my arms, cradling him, cooing gently whispering that everything was going to be alright. Eventually Shawn calmed down as he lifted his head to reveal a tear-soaked see-through shirt; Shawn peered down then darted his eyes back up to me. "Sorry" he whispered as he put his head back onto my chest where the wet patch was. "It's alright" I played with his hair, twisting it between my fingers as he sat curled up in my arms. Shawn had succumb to anxiety more than ever- he had previously told me that when I'm away from him for too many hours he begins to worry; worry that I'm not coming home; worry that I've been killed or kidnaped or that my mother had somehow gotten me; he had worried that he would never see me again.

He had hid away his feelings from the public eye for many years now- he seems generally nonchalant to the outside- carefree even- but he wasn't. Shawn had bundled up all of his emotions for years, they slowly manifested inside of him; heating up his body to a degree that was normally associated with spontaneous human combustion. It gnawed away at him, year by year; month by month; day by day.

I entered his life on a whim- dragged into the fancy hotel by Andrew only to be faced with the man that I now love. Both of us were terrified to jump in head first into marriage- especially Shawn; it worsened his anxiety- he didn't know what to do. He had mentioned that he seemed to feel as if he had to get on with me- although he didn't have to- he had told me it was a total coincidence that he actually fell in love with me: I can't lie- it was a shock when I accidentally tripped into the huge dwelling abyss known as love. I cherish every part of him- as I'm sure he feels the same; but ever-so-slightly cracks appear as shreds of disparity and hurt peak through- I know he had been hurt in the past. Shawn's anxiety had became so bad that it took him time to adjust to the though that I actually loved him- he seemed almost baffled by it. He was scared to lose someone who meant so much to him: it scared me just as much as him.

Shawn's happiness had began to fade bit by bit days after my mother had came and scouted me out- I'm only going to be able to know you're safe if you're with me- his words ring a deafening silence with in me; he was the only person who had really cared for me and my safety. I may have had my father and my brother but they did not care about my safety and about me as much as Shawn- Shawn had cared for me when they didn't even know I had went missing- granted Shawn didn't either- but he wanted me in one piece no matter what; he had put me first over himself, when in reality, he should have been looking after himself. He cares more about other people that himself- a quality that I like about him, he puts others first when he feels like he has to. He cares not only for me, but for him mother; father; and sister.

As Shawn's gradual glee dissipated, he looked hopeless. He had looked up to me his eyes red and swollen as I gently tilted his head upwards kissing him gently. His kisses aren't as they used to be I thought to myself as his lips tiredly joined mine. His spark; drive; resilience had evaporated, leaving a pitiful shell of anguish. I felt as if I had to do something- staying with Shawn was the best thing I could do. His mental health was the most important thing at this moment in time.

Shawn had fallen asleep, I had wrapped him up in some blankets and rested his head on a pillow. I hauled myself around the hotel corridors in hope of finding Andrew- to plead for a way out for Shawn. I eventually find him, overrun with paperwork on the hotel desk as he stuffs his hands in, pulling out multiple pieces of paper, ripping them out of the files. He notices me, stopping what he's doing and looks directly through me.

Andrew had seemed frustrated- I had merely asked if I could stay with Shawn for a bit longer- until he was on the road to recovery. He had bitterness towards the situation- he didn't understand it like I did. No one did- only Shawn and I could. Eventually Andrew gave in, taking it with a pinch of salt. He had told me that I could stay with Shawn on his tour to make sure he's alright, to care and nurse him back to health- but I was not to interfere with anything and to keep myself to myself, which I was fine with as long as I could keep Shawn in check and keep him as stable as possible.

————
ps I'm meeting Shawn in April and I'm scared cos I'm going to wee myself and I won't know what to say so feel free to give me some advice pls xxxxx

love g xxxx

also thank u for basically 50k reads xxxx