The Break Up Plan (FINISHED)

Plan #27: Jean

Naglakad ako papunta sa office ni Aphonse. Hanggang sa mga oras na ‘to ay hindi pa rin mawala sa isip ko ang mga nangyari kagabi pati na rin ‘yong galit at inis sa loob ko ay hindi pa man lang nabawasan. No matter how hard I try to push it away or to dust it off out of my mind, memories keeps on coming back and so the feeling that I felt on that moment I saw my best friend lying on the floor, helpless and crying over her knees. I sighed with exasperation.

Dala dala ko ang aking resignation letter sa kaliwa kong kamay. Desidido na ako. Alam ko naman na dahil sa ginawa ko ay ito rin ang kakaratingan dahil sa ginawa ko. I don’t really care. I don’t really mind risking everything na pinundar ko sa kompanyang ito. If that’s the way he treat his employee then there is no point of staying. Malapit ng matapos ang project kung saan ako ang engineer at si Benjo naman ang architect. I don’t really mind leaving, even with the project’s still on my shoulders. Madami pa namang engineer na puwedeng pumalit sa akin at isa pa nariyan pa naman si Benjo. I know I can trust him.

Rinig na rinig ko ang tunog ng pagtama ng aking takong habang binabaybay ko ang pasilyo patungo sa opisina ni Alphonse. I put my chin up and kept my pace as calm as I could muster. Huminto ako agad sa paglalakad ng makarating ako sa pintuan papasok sa opisina ni Alphonse. Huminga muna ako ng malalim at pilit na inayos ang mga bagay bagay sa loob ng aking isipan. I kept the thoughts in my mind in order while putting my dignity into it.

Kumatok ako ng dalawang beses. Pagkatapos noon ay agad kong pinihit ang doorknob tsaka ko ito binuksan. Pagkabukas ko ay agad kong ginala ang aking mga mata sa loob ng opisina. Mabilis kong hinanap ang presinsya ni Alphonse at nakita ko ito na nakaupo sa likod ng kanyang varnished wooden table. Nakita kong napatingin ito sa aking direksyon. He smiled but instead of smiling back, I maked a face.

I motioned towards him. I keep my pace in a straight line as I came to a halt.

Inilapag ko ang kanina ko pang hawak hawak na papel. “I’ll be submitting my resignation today. Hindi mo na kailangan na paalisin ako sa kompanya mo Alphonse dahil ako mismo ang aalis.,” diretso kong sabi. Halatang nabigla ito. Nakita kong nanlaki ang kanyang dalawang mata at parang malalaglag ang panga nito mula sa kanyang mukha. I stood there in front of his desk looking across him.

            He looked up and glanced at me. “Please calm down Engr. Santos,” he said with a calming voice as if trying to make me think over what I’ve just said. He stood up and held his hand in front of me then wave downwardly giving me direction as he said, “Please take a seat. Pag-usapan muna natin ‘to Engr. Santos.” I heaved a sigh of exasperation, trying to pushed it away.

Nahanginan ata ako at napasunod ako ni Alphonse knowing na punong puno ng galit ang aking dibdib para sa kanya pati na rin kay Dahl. That woman’s face makes me want to punch her to make her realize that what she have done on that moment was a real mess. Dahl should be thankful that a slap on her face was only the paymet I could give after the humiliation she have done with my best friend.

Umupo ako sa upuan sa na nasa harap ng mesa niya na nasa kaliwang direksyon ko naman. I hover as I motioned my eyes on the chair after finally thinking of throwing myself into it. I burried my butt into the chair then looked at him. He slowly returned to his seat.

“I am really, really sorry about what happened last night.” He looked at me intently then I squint toward him. Hindi ko ako makapaniwala sa aking narinig mula sa kanya. Magsasalita na sana ako para klaruhin ang lahat ng bigla na lang uliy siyang nagsalita.

“Hindi ko talaga intensyon na mangyari ‘yon lahat. I am so sorry. I am so sorry for you and for…” he trailed off then looked down. I give him a look with a furrowed eye brow though he wasn’t looking.

“… for Angel. I don’t know but I can’t bare the pain of looking her cry.”

My exasperation suddenly subside and was quickly replaced by the feeling of sympathy. I saw it in his eyes. He was serious, he was hurt and somehow, it was real.

“Alphonse,” I mubled then pressed my lips together.

He quickly shift his gaze toward me then in a flicker, he manage to paint a smile on his face as if there was no trace of any sadness in his eyes.

“Alam mo Engr. Santos. I can’t really afford to lose you. You are one of the best Engineer I have.” Bahagyang sumaya ang puso ko dahil sa sinabi niya.

Hindi pa rin nawawala ang ngiti sa kanyang mukha na abot hanggang tenga niya. Ngunit sa kabilang banda ay hindi pa rin matanggal sa loob ng aking isip kung bakit bigla na lamang naging ganoon ito ng mabangit niya ang pangalan ni Angel. The look on his face was far different than it was. It was as if he was clearly picturing out the moments that had happened last night.

Hindi ko na narinig ang mga sumunod na sinabi ni Alphonse basta ang alam ko lang ay nakatingin lamang ito sa akin na parang naghihintay ng sagot. Nakita ko siyang umiling.

“I can’t really accept your resignation letter. I can’t let you go and beside we have more project to work on to. You have to stay, please.”

I smiled. Hindi ko alam ang aking isasagot dahil kani kanina lang ay desidido na akong magresign pero it seems like I have to think over it.

“Yes sir,” sabi ko na parang awtomatiko na nagsalita ang aking mga labi.

Ngumiti lang ito at ako naman ay napangiti rin. Finally, everything is now settled. I crumpled the resignation letter and throw it to nearby trash bin. Pagkalabas ko sa office ni Alphonse ay napahinga ako ng malalim. Honestly, I can’t really afford to lose this job. Not now that I have this guy who always makes me smile whenever I’m with him and whenever we’re together. I can’t also afford to lose another chance to love again. I would gladly risk everything to be happy again.

Huminga ulit ako ng malalim at saka naglakad ng dahan dahan sa pasilyo ng bigla ko na lang naramdaman na may humawak sa aking balikat. I shrugged it off because I felt like I was electrified by it. I looked over my shoulder and saw Angel behind me.

“Oh, ano nangyari?” she asked with desperation in her voice. I smiled at her.

“Everything is now okay at maayos na ang lahat. Kaya no neeed to worry. Napagisip isip ko na hindi na lang ako aalis sa kompanyang ito.”

            “Wow! Bes, buti naman at natauhan ‘yang matigas mong bungo. Sabi ko naman kasi sa’yo okay lang ako,” napahinto ito sa pagsasalita.

“Eh, anong sabi ni Alphonse?” she resumed pero bigla na lamang humina ang boses nito.

“He said that he was very sorry about what happened last night…” I trailed off when I saw her when she looked down as if rememering those moments.

“And he said,” I paused wanting to catch her attention. She looked at me then I resume, “and he said that he can’t bare the pain of seeing you cry. That is why he is very sorry.”

Nakita kong nanlaki ang kanyang dalawang mata. Kumurba ang kanyang labi papunta sa kanyang tenga. Ngumiti ito ng marinig ang aking sinabi.

“Talaga?” she asked. Her voice suddenly filled with energy.

Tumango lang ako. I saw how she clasped her hands slowly then looked away while smiling.

Kung hindi ko lang alam ‘yong rason kung bakit namumutawi ang ngiti sa kanyang labi ay iisipin kong nababaliw na ito. Halata naman kasi na kinikilig ito dahil sa sinabi ni Alphonse.

Maya maya pa ay hinigit ko ito sa kanyang kamay ng walang pasabi. “Mamaya ka na kiligin a, tapusin muna natin ‘yong trabaho natin sa site.”

“Eh gusto mo lang makita si Benjo eh.” She caught me off guard and the only thing I did was to smile.