Thin Ice

21

I sat on a chair at the end of his bed for two days, only getting up so I could go home to shower, use the bathroom and eat. My mom came and went, his parents came on the second day and were now staying at a hotel down the street.

The boy that laid in the bed before me didn't look like Justin. His lips were swollen and his eyes were puffy. There were cuts all over his face and shoulders, some were stitched shut and others were bandaged while some remained bare because they were so small and already healing.

It hurt to look at him but I stayed, waiting for him to get up and when he finally did I was ready to leave.

               "Kae." My name came out as a croak, barely loud enough to hear but it was enough to have me look up from the book I had sitting in my lap.

The swelling had gone down and he was looking more like himself as he watched me.

               "Your finally up." I whisper, biting my lip as I resist the urge to walk over and wrap my arms around him, never letting him go. 

               "That guy beat the shit out of me." He says, chuckling. His hand that doesnt have an IV in it comes up and he runs his fingers over his split lip and the cut above his eyebrow.

               "I've gotta go now." I set the book on the table that sat on the end of the bed. Once standing I walk over to the door, giving him a small wave.

               "Wait!" He shouts, sitting up slightly, his hand reaching towards me. I lean against the door, turning to look at him.

               "Yeah?" I keep my hand on the doorknob, wanting to twist it.

               "You look sick, Are you okay?" I can see the worry etched across his face, a look that had my heart throbbing in pain. 

               "I haven't been feeling well today." I bring my hand up to my forehead, holding it there. I was warm and sweaty which wasn't normal because the hospital was a cold place.

               "Come here." He opens his arms and I shuffle foreword, standing at the edge of the bed and looking down at him.  "When was the last time you....." He trails off and I sigh, knowing exactly what he meant.

               "Almost 2 days." I mutter, wanting to leave and get exactly what he was talking about, it was calling me. Pulling me towards it.

               "Your going through withdrawal symptoms." He says, reaching out and grabbing my hand. I want to pull away, I want to run out of the room and run home. I had a stash under my pillow, I knew it was there, untouched.

I whimper, my head was throbbing and the lights were making it worse.

               "Stay with me." He says in a tone similar to the one he used when I only said 'okay' to him breaking up with me. It was a desperate tone, one that pulled at my heart.

               "I'm going to throw up." I pull away from Justin, darting into the bathroom and dropping to my knees in front of the toilet. I threw up everything I had eaten today, which wasn't much. 

I get up, using a paper towel to wipe my mouth before using water to rinse out my mouth. 

               "I need to go." I tell Justin, moving back towards the door.

               "No! I need you to stay." He is still using the tone, I whimper again. Slowly walking towards him. "Kae, Baby. Please." His eyes are watering and I let out a loud cry before throwing myself down next to him.

His arms around me, holding me tightly to his chest. I bury my face into his neck, breathing heavily.

I was icthing to leave but I hadn't been this comfortable in awhile. I wanted to make Justin happy and I needed to stay. 

He tangles his hands in my hair, holding me closely as I try to ignor all of the pain going through my body.