Trapped in Ophelia's Body

Visit from Kodiak

Song: I think I'm in love by Kat Dahlia

We sit there in silence. I know he believes this is all his fault but technically it isn't. I mean if I hadn't been at the party I wouldn't have fallen in but still it's not like he pushed me in.  I don't know how many times he has said that he is sorry. He looks up at the machines and follows the tube all the way down to my arm and then looks back up at me.

"Does that hurt?" He squints as if it is hurting him.

"Not really."

We both jump with the door opens up and in walks the nurse with a tray of food. She looks at Kodiak and gives him a huge grin and then looks at me with a slighter smile. While setting down the tray she says, "Your mom already pre-approved so you should be able to eat this." And I know the minute she says it that the other nurse must have said something about this morning. I don't mean to see picky but I am.  I look down at the tray of food and bite my tongue not to say anything about the green Jell-O. I'm sure she didn't actually show my mom the plate because if she would have that damn green Jell-O would not still be on there. I also have tea with ice but I don't say anything.

When she leaves she grins ear to ear at Kodiak again and it surprises me that it kinda pisses me off. Wait am I jealous about this. Should I be jealous. I mean we are just close friends right. No we are more than that we just haven't actually made it official. I glare at the back of her head and Kodiak notices.

"What was that all about?" He says almost in a teasing voice.

"Nothing...you...you...tell me. She was smiling at you...like...like she was going to eat you or something."

He laughs, "Yeah! Whatever."

"It's true...I seen the way she was smiling at you as if you belong in some centerfold in a magazine...Awe come on. Tell me you didn't think she was cute." I tease back.

"Uhm, not really my type."

Yeah right I tell myself. "Oh! Well then what is your type?"

He looks at me and smiles with a shake of his head.

"Well...."

"You really want to know what I like."

"Yeah...tell me what is...is...your type of girl?"

It shouldn't surprise me by the one word that comes right of his mouth, "you" but it does. I just don't know what he really sees in me. I'm nobody...just a teenage girl that is trying to get by in a body that likes to reject the world around it. I watch him as he stands up and comes over closer to look at the food on the tray. He lifts up the plate cover to reveal some sort of meat with creamy mashed potatoes. They have a dose of gravy in the mix and just looking at it makes my stomach tighten up. She did not have this approved by my mother. I try everything not to puke but I feel it rising in my throat. I point over to the small bucket and he hands it to me just in time to puke. I know I just didn't puke in front of him; how freaking embarrassing.

"Are you alright?" he asks with a tender voice.

I shake my head and put the cover back over the plate before pushing the tray away from me. He gets up and gets a tissue and hands it to me. I know he is trying to be helpful and I barely get out a 'thanks' before puking up again.

"You want me to go get your mom?" He seems worried about me.

I shake my head no. "I...I...I'll be o...ok."

"Are you sure; you don't look so good at the moment?"

Well thanks for bringing that to my attention. Of course I don't look good. I need a shower for one thing and I'm sure my face is all flushed from puking my guts out. Instead of sitting back down in the chair he sits on the edge of the bed to hold my hand.

"I didn't mean it that way..." It's like he knows what I am thinking before I even have to say anything. "You are beautiful always, it's just you really don't look well."

"I'll be alright."

"If you say so." He tries to change the subject. "So what do they have to watch around here?" He picks up the remote and surfs through the channels. Of course there is not really anything on and he ends up leaving it on Wheel of Fortune. He scoots over closer to me and has his back up against the pillow to prop himself up to watch the TV. I am amazed at how he solves all the puzzles in a matter of seconds. I don't know how it happens but my head gradually falls on to his shoulder. It actually feels good having him this close. He eventually slides his arm behind me and lets me rest against his warm hard body.

Would it be insane for thinking of him kissing me...wait what am I thinking he can't kiss me not right now I'm sure my breath really stinks. I'm still thinking of it when a sitcom comes on and he is laughing. I watch him as he is so in tune with the show that it gets me laughing. We are still laughing when my parents walk into the room. My dad grunts and Kodiak immediately moves away from me. Not only does he move away but he gets up from the bed all together. I watch as his eyes get wide and he brushes he hair with one hand before folding his arms in front of him.

My mom walks over to the tray of food. "I hope you ate something." But when she picks up the cover she practically slams it back down. "How in the hell do they expect her to eat that, seriously do I have to do everything around here."

"The nurse said you approved of it and that I should it all of it." I tell her with a sarcastic smile.

"The hell she did." My mom says a little louder than she should.

"I will go get her something to eat alright, it will be fine stop worrying." My dad tells my mom. He also picks up the tray and takes it with him as he leaves. I hear him in the hallway behind the door talking to someone and he doesn't sound too happy about whatever he is saying to them.

My mom walks over to the bed and she already knows that I got sick again. I don't have to tell her; she knows everything. "So...just the one time?"

I nod my head and Kodiak is watching me and my mother. He watches her place her hand on my forehead and move some of my loose strands away from my face. "I did not approve of that plate."

"I know mom...really its ok."

"Not when it makes you that sick." She looks over at Kodiak. "So she only got sick once, right?"

I shake my head no, daring him to just be quite and he must read my expression and realizes how desperate I am because he agrees with me and tells her it was just the one time.

The nurse interrupts us and my mom stops to look at her. "We need to talk." She walks out of the room and the nurse follows her.

"Thanks for not saying anything. I'm trying to get out of here and the only way is to eat and keep all foods down but looking at that was just too much."

"I don't like lying to your parents."

"You didn't...I did." I smile. I scoot to the edge of the bed and he is looking at me. I debate on whether to ask him for help standing up or doing it all on my own. I decide to do this on my own. I just need to go pee. I have been trying to hold it but it's not happening. I go to stand up and feel lightheaded.

His arm comes around me to hold me up. "What are you doing?"

"I...I...have to go pee." I wrinkle up my nose with a slight smile of embarrassment.

"Here let me help you." And he holds his hand out for me to take a hold of.  He walks me all the way to the bathroom holding onto me and shuts the door behind me. "I will be right here so yell if you need me."

"Ok." I do my thing and stand back up. I can't believe I am still light headed and I'm sure it's from not eating. When I open the door, he moves over to let me out. He helps me all the way back to the bed and helps me get back in before my parents walk back in.

However this time, my dad hints that Kodiak needs to go. "It's getting late and Ophelia really need to eat and get some rest...I'm sure you understand."

"Of course," he tells my dad and then looks back over at me. "Text you later."

"Later...bye."

"Bye."

Not even two seconds later my phone dings.

Kodiak: Good night. Praying you get better soon.

Ophelia: Good night. Thanks for checking on me.