Trapped in Ophelia's Body

Just a kiss

Song: Just a kiss by Lady Antebellum

I never thought he would go this far out of his way. He managed to get all my class work from every class. Not only does he do that but he pulls up a chair next to my bed and starts helping me with it.

"Kodiak...you don't have to do this."

"I want to, it's partly my fault that you got sick and got behind in class work only fair I help get you caught up." He smiles at me while opening the math book to the page that needs to be done.

We work for a while, yes with the door still open. My parents will die if I shut it. It's not that I don't think that they trust me, it's him that they don't trust. My head is hurting from all the freaking math problems even if he is helping me and giving me most of the answers. Finally we do the last problem and I am so ready for a break but he picks up the Science book. "You ready to move on to Science?"

I shake my head no. "Seriously can't this all wait...I so need a break."

"Already?"

"Already....you feel like watching a movie?"

"I told your dad that I was helping with your homework, watching a movie is not homework."

I roll my eyes at him and push out my bottom lip to pout. I give him my best puppy eyes and pretend that my feelings are hurt. When he looks back up at me he shakes his head. "You are going to get me in trouble."

"How am I going to get you in trouble...it's only a movie...come on I need a break."

"Fine....but if your father complains this is all on you." He puts the book down and moves the chair around so that he can see the TV. I lay on my stomach to watch. He looks so uncomfortable in the chair so I scoot over to make room for him on my bed.

"Ophelia, your parents are going to flip if I'm in bed with you."

"It's not like we are doing anything."

I watch as he debates on lying beside me. I shake my head at him and continue to watch the TV. If he wants to he will and if he doesn't it's his loss. After debating for a good ten minutes he finally stands up and then lays beside me. He is a good foot away from me and I scoot over just enough to have him close to me but not touching me. We are watching a romantic comedy and the couple on the screen is kissing. I wonder what it would be like to kiss him. I think he must be thinking the same thing as he scoots over closer to me. His hand softly touches mine and I feel little shivers go down my spine. Millions of butterflies flutter around in my stomach and I this tingling sensation overwhelm my entire body.

My heart starts to speed up but my breathing actually slows down, so much that if I don't tell my brain to make my lungs work. I'm going to stop breathing all together. He is only inches from me and I know it's about to happen. I don't know if I should close my eyes and let it happen or watch it come. As his lips touch mine I feel incredible different, the feeling is so foreign like my body is accepting his touch. My body has always rejected everyone but not him. How is that possible? How is it that his body has this effect on my body?

The kiss was soft and sweet and even though it was only for like a second it was an awesome second that made me crave for another one. My body reacts and I lean in to him to kiss him again. He pulls away when he hears someone coming up the stairs. My mom walks by my room but then backtracks and is now standing in the doorway.

"Ophelia I thought you two were studying. What are you guys doing?"

"We...we...were studying...I...I wanted to take a break."

"And why are you both on your bed?" She walks into my room and he gets up from the bed.

"We were just watching a movie...I'm sorry...I shouldn't have laid down beside her." He starts to apologize to my mom.

"Kodiak, I appreciate you bring Ophelia her things from school, however she just got home today and needs her rest. I think it's time for you to go home."

"Mom...we were just watching a movie." I can't believe she is telling him to leave.

"I know...but you also need your rest." She smiles. "Again...thank you for thinking of our daughter."

Kodiak gathers his things and puts his books in his backpack. He looks back at me and waves. "Guess I should go so you can get some rest."

"I'll talk to you later," I tell him as I bite my bottom lip and he notices giving me a smile in return.

When he leaves my mom turns back to me. "Ophelia, I don't mind him coming over here to see you but he doesn't need to be in your bed."

"Mom seriously...we was just watching a movie it's no big deal."

"No big deal. You guys were holding hands. You for one don't like touching anyone. How am I supposed to act to that? You can barely give us a hug or hold our hand growing up and now...this boy...this boy comes into your life and all of a sudden you want to hold hands with him. What is next? Kissing, hugging, making out." She raises her voice as she is fussing at me. My dad over hears her and he comes into the room.

"What is going on?"

"Ask your daughter that question? They were laying beside each other holding hands, in her bed." My mom tells him and he just looks at me like he can't believe that I would do such a thing.

"Nothing happened...we were watching a movie...yes we were holding hands. OH my God, you two go on and on about me try to be normal. I wish you were normal. I wish you would hang out with friends and blah, blah, blah but you don't want me to be normal."

"Young lady stop yelling at us." My dad raises his voice. "We can talk about this like grownups."

"She is seventeen; she is not a grown up," my mom spays back glaring at him.

"I just saying, let's talk about this. We knew eventually she was going to have a boyfriend. Well we and always hoped that she would and now the time is here...calm down." He tells my mom in a very calming voice.

"I...I'm just not ready for this. She is our little girl. I'm not ready to watch her fall in love and get crushed over it when he leaves her."

My parents are talking in my room as if I'm not even in the room. My mom is afraid that I am going to fall in love and then get hurt. I don't see that happening. Kodiak really cares for me and she should know that by now.

"Guys...stop already," I say out loud. I think it was out loud but they are ignoring me.

"I don't want her riding on the bike of his. I don't even think I want her hanging out with him. What if next time she really does get hurt and there is no coming back for it? She was lucky this time." My mom goes on and on and my dad leans in to hug her.

"It's all going to be alright dear. I doubt he will ever hurt her. He knows now how fragile she is and I know he won't hurt her."

He knows now...what is he talking about. He knows what? My dad has talked with him. What did he say to him? Did he threaten him? Did he tell him everything about me? The sensory disorder...the anxiety attacks...what the hell did he say to him? He knows. I'm fragile, I'm weak, I'm nothing. I'm I really not that good for someone else... for Kodiak. He never wanted to lay in the bed with me afraid he would get in trouble and sure enough my mom flips out over something so stupid. He knows?

My parents keep talking and ignoring me as I continue to freak out. I kissed a boy. I let his lips touch mine and let him hold my hand...my hand. My heart is racing, my chest is caving, my breathing picks up and suddenly I can't take it anymore and my body goes numb and all I can do is scream to the top of my lungs before crawling up into a ball. Both my parents freeze and look over at me. I rock back and forth on my bed, trying to calm down but it's not working. Panic attacks just don't work that way and some are so much worse than others. This one if I rated on a scale of one to ten...would be an eleven.

I don't panic because of my mom catching us holding hands. I don't panic over the fact that they are having a hard time dealing with me falling in love with a boy. I don't even panic because he touched me...my lips. I panic because I don't know what all he knows. What did my dad tell him?