"I'm the weird awkward girl that flips out over the silliest little things."- Ophelia
Ophelia is not an ordinary girl...she will never be normal. At age four she was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. Over the years from not being able to b...
Song: If you asked me too by Mackenzie Porter (Sorry I could not find the lyrics)
I have been doing so good not having any panic attacks lately however today is graduation and I feel like I am going to puke all over the place. I am on edge. My hands will not stop trembling as the guest speaker is talking about our future. Our future. I haven't really thought much about it. I mean yes I have thought about us moving in together and what our life is going to be like living together but after that then what? I mean we don't plan on getting married until after we graduate college.
But what then, my hands are trembling so badly so I slide them underneath me and sit on them. I try to block out everything in my mind but I can't.
They started calling names to come to the stage and now our row is getting ready to stand up. The girl beside me nudges me. "Ophelia...it's time."
I feel like I am about to pass out the moment I stand up. I feel that all eyes are on me and there are so many people in the stadium watching. I know they all see me turning ghostly white...so pale. I can't do this. I stand in line and look down at the floor. Don't look up. Don't look over. They all have eyes on you; they are watching you. Don't look...breathe...in-out-in-out breathe Ophelia before you pass out. I hear my thoughts take over. I am standing there and if it wasn't for the girl beside me I would have fallen out. She catches me just in time.
"Ophelia...are you alright." She looks around to see who else seen me fall over.
Within seconds Kodiak is by my side. Of course he is out of line now. I just know he is going to get in to so much trouble for not following all the guidelines for today. "Hey...you ok...take a deep breath...focus on me alright. It's just you and me."
I nod my head. "You are going to be in so much trouble."
"What are they going to do...fail me...I'm here hold on to me." He wraps his arms around my waist.
They call my name again and he walks up on stage with me holding my hand and still has his arm around me, supporting me. The principle glares at him but doesn't dare say anything in front of the crowd. Kodiak walks me back off stage all the way to my seat. "You are going to be alright...I will be right back alright." He jumps back in line so that they can call his name.
Afterwards we have to walk back out in a single file. I only stand up because the girl nudges me again. I missed the whole ending to the ceremony because I am deep in my own little world. When we get outside I have a full blown attack. Not only that but I am puking behind a nearby bush. I don't know why it happens this way but it does and there is nothing I can do about it. He finds me in no time and takes me off to the side to hold me in his arms. He sings softly in my ear while I shake and cry it all out and then just like that I am a little better. Not great but a little better.
Instead of going to a party like everyone else we opt out and go back to my house for just a small get together with my parents and his family. His sisters actually behave and get along for once. Kia keeps pulling on my arm to go outside to the back yard.
We have an old swing set and he wants to play so we go out with him. Our parents are talking about the next steps to our lives as if they have any say so what happens to us from here on out. My dad fires up the grill and starts cooking for all of us, while my mom goes back inside to work on the other foods with his mom. I sit beside Kia on the other swing and Kodiak takes turns pushing us both.
"Push higher...higher..." Kia laughs. And Kodiak pushes him really hard and way up high.
"Hold on little man...don't you get any ideas." Kodiak tells him as he comes behind me and pushes me again.
"I will hold on," he yells.
Kodiak makes me go slower as he is pushing me with gentle hands and then he almost brings me to a complete stop putting his arms around me. "We did it...I can't wait to move in with you."
"I can't wait either." I smile up at him and his lips meet mine.
Two months later we are packing all of our belongings into a moving truck. I stand in my empty bedroom thinking of all the memories that it holds. A part of me wants to stay, not leaving anything behind but the other part of me wants to go. They say you never know until you try, so here I go. I close the door behind me. Thankfully both our parents follow us to our new place and help us unpack. I happen to look over and my mom is shedding a few tears.
"Mom...I will be fine you know," I tell her.
"Ophelia, what if something happens? What if he doesn't know what to do?"
"Mom I can do this...I have to learn sometime right and Kodiak is here."
Kodiak walks up behind me placing his arms around my waist. "She will be fine and if anything happens I will be sure to let you guys know."
"I'm sure you will take great care of our girl," my dad says as he walks over towards us.
"Yes sir...I will make sure nothing happens to her."
"Guys you act like I am so far away it's only little over an hour we could always come home on the weekends to visit," I tell both of them.
"You better come visit." My mom brings her arms around me and hugs me like she will never see me again. "Well guess we better be going." She steps back and my dad gives me a big hug.
"You got this."
I nod my head yes.
When we are finally all alone he wraps his arms around me, breathing me in. "I can't believe we are living together."
"I know right." I look back into his eyes and kiss him. It doesn't take us long to head back to the bedroom...our bedroom.
I know we have a lot ahead of us. Our future is only beginning. I know I will do just about anything for him all he has to do is ask me. I just hope he can handle all my ups and downs and in-betweens and my awkwardness.
Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who has taking the time out to ready about Ophelia. I have been trying to find a way to end the story and you know if I could I would keep going...But like I always say some things have to come to an end sometime.
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