Voice | choi hyunsuk

05

Choi Hyun Suk

Waiting; a word im greatly familiar with. It's the same thing as I experienced 7 years ago,

"Dont worry Hyunsuk, hyung will come back. Stay still and wait, okay?" His touch on my shoulder, his warmth was the only thing that comforted me through the cold and frightening atmosphere.

Wait he said, I waited and waited enduring the freezing air embracing my 9-year-old body.

I remained and remembered his warmth and back seeking for comfort and miraculously, I saw light coming in my direction.

It was mom and dad with a few other people, they held things like flashlights and first-aid kits.

Mom and dad hugged me tightly, tears escaping my mother's eyes and my father watching us with worry visible in his eyes.

I asked with a small voice, "Eomma, where's hyung?"

Even though that was all over my head and I kept questioning that over and over again, deep down I knew what happened. I knew it the moment I let hyung go out on his own.

That older brother that stood proudly infront of me, comforting and securing me, turned his back on me never to come back again.

If I knew that was the last time then I would've chased him and stopped clinging on that single warmth, I would've stopped comforting myself and clinged on the source of the warmth instead.

I wouldn't have listened to his words, I wouldn't have waited.

I shouldn't have let my fear dominate. But then, what power does words have when it has happened already.

"Waiting, huh." I didn't look at her, anyone or anything because I hated the word waiting the most.

"In a place of a younger sibling, how would you feel if your older sibling just left you telling you to wait but never comes back?" She asked.

I already knew the answer, "Angry of him" She laughed. "Right, I—"

"and myself." I said before she finished her statement.

She observed me, looking intently to me as I continued not making eye contact with her.

"I thought, why didn't he ask for my help? He can't do much on his own for the love of God. But then I know that I was relieved that he didn't ask me, I felt that shameful feeling of relief."

Without reaction or clue, tears escaped from my eyes. They went down, one by one; the same as they did last time.

"God this hurts my pride."

Perhaps that little boy still felt and cried the same way from 7 years ago, the past will continue to be an infinite source of regrets and sadness.

"Yah Hyunsuk, don't cry." She came in front of me and attempted to touched my shoulders but as expected, it went through.

A few moments became blank. I guess these times have no end.

"Hyunsuk, you okay?" After some time, a guy came up running to me and looking down to see my face.

Just before he did, she changed positions and moved to the side but never broke her stare at me. It was Seunghun, he was just passing by and until he saw me standing in the middle of the hall randomly crying on my own.

"Hyunsuk, are you not feeling well? You want me to bring you to the infirmary?" He sounded and looked genuinely worried,

I mean that's Seunghun for everyone. I removed his hands which he placed in my shoulders due to worry. I shaked my head and wiped the stains of the tears, why did I even cry like that.

"I'm fine." Seunghun looked at me doubting my claims, "Do you still get triggered?" I scoffed. He knows me so well.

"It's fine, Seunghun, really." I answered while he couldn't do anything anymore.

"Let's go then." Seunghun tapped my shoulder for the last time and just let it go. I walked behind him my energy still not returning.

"Hyunsuk." A female voice called out.

"I'm okay, don't worry." I didn't look back and just mumbled, only making it audible to me and her.

I suppose certain scars from the past will never disappear and we would blame ourselves because it happened.

I wonder if Doyoung feels the same.

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Kind of a short chaper, but who cried in the latest episode? CAUSE THIS BITCH DID :,)

Especially when Junhyuk got eliminated 😭 Hyunsuk really held his tears back for Junhyuk a tRUE HYUNG

Chapters are gonna be uploaded late too because school is starting tomorrow 😭 but i'll try writing chapters and publishing them all together to make up

This is sort of like a flashback chapter about Hyunsuk and his brother if you still remember his name that I mentioned a few chapters back 😉 So expect more chapters with flashbacks but not all of them will be flashbacks so don't worry, im also planning to add some Silverboys interactions along with the other teams

And I also love and appreciate all your comments and feedbacks and I do read all of them even though I don't reply

Thank you for showing support to Voice and see you in the next chaper~~