Finding a Way | Adopted by Gerard Way

Warmth

I dream of a pretty girl. An angel, maybe. She has midnight blue hair and her eyes are golden in the sunlight. She radiates warmth.

I feel nice and cozy inside when I wake up. Morning light pours through my curtains making my room appear yellow. I could lay here, basking in this feeling for hours, but it won't last forever.

I need to think of more happy things before this feeling of comfort drains from my chest, leaving me feeling alone and cold like I usually do in the morning.

Emerald's fingers brushing against mine.

Gerard's generosity, Mikey's smirk, Frank's enthusiasm, Ray's head of gorgeous hair.

Star Wars and movie nights like that one, every Friday.

And pizza.

You ate it, Evelyn. You know what that means? You're fat and if you don't stop that it'll only get worse.

Woah, woah, woah! I just want to be healthier, but as I get out of bed and make my way to my bathroom I can't help but feel different this morning. More tired, like each step is more draining than the last. And, when I look at myself in the mirror, the evil thoughts from the back of my mind seem to be confirmed. The warmth I felt just a minute earlier is gone and I'm left feeling disgusted.

I get dressed in leggings and one of the T-shirts I got yesterday. I pull on my new sneakers and tip toe downstairs, careful not to wake Gerard. It's 9AM, but he's still asleep. I know it.

The air smells sweet when I step outside, the sunlight is warm on my skin, but I'm not here to admire the beauty of nature today. I'm going for a run. Twenty minutes will do.

I jog down the road, not knowing where I'm going, and not even caring. As long as I remember my way back it'll be fine. Morning rush hour just ended, so the traffic isn't bad. We don't live in a heavily populated area, anyway.

I used to run a lot, but without the same purpose as I have today. Children usually don't know where they're going when they run; they're so carefree. I don't really remember a time when I was carefree, and I really don't remember not having anywhere to run to. But, let's not get into that.

About ten minutes later, I turn around . It takes another 10 minutes to get back home, and when I do I feel refreshed. I didn't take any turns, so I find my way very easily. I open the front door slowly and listen carefully when I enter. Silence. Gerard is still in bed. Well, it's not even 9:30AM yet.

What to do now? I decide to go back up to my room and shower. The hot water feels nice and much smoother than at the Millers'. They have an old house where the water takes about ten minutes to heat and barrels down on you like hail the size of golf balls.

When my hair is shampooed and the conditioner is rinsed out I turn off the water and reach for my towel.

Wait.

I don't have a towel.

I guess I'm air drying?

Let's skip this bit, shall we? And, let's never speak of my forgetfulness again.

I get dressed in my ripped black jeans and Queen T-shirt, not bothering with socks. I dry my hair with the hair dryer I actually remembered to take along with me only two days ago and then I make my bed.

It's about 10:15 when I hear a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I call.

"Morning, Eve," Gerard says, walking in. He has bedhead and is still in his pyjamas.

"Morning, Gee." I guess we have the nicknames out of the way. I take a seat on my bed feeling like he's about to start some deep conversation or something. He sits next to me.

"So, I didn't want to bring it up last night with everyone around, but I noticed you kinda got quiet when those two girls came up to us in Hot Topic yesterday."

"Okay..."

"We don't have to take pictures with people when you're around if it makes you uncomfortable, you know?" That's why he thought I was quiet? "They're usually really nice, though. You just have to know, it happens sometimes."

"Oh, yeah, I know. That's not why I got quiet, though! I just, um, I didn't really know what to do. They don't know me, and I didn't want to be in the way or anything." Most of the truth.

"You're not in the way. Just say hi, introduce yourself. People will know who you are in no time. They'll catch on soon, y'know." Of course. They're going to know who I am.

I don't really know how to react to this sudden realization, so I just settle on saying, "Okay."

"While we're here," Oh, what now? "I need to mention that school is starting again in a few weeks."

"Oh, yeah. School. Can I maybe... not go to my old school?" See, I didn't exactly have any friends there. I was known as the orphan, I ate lunch on my own. I could go on...

"If that's what you want, I'll see what I can do," He smiles. "So, can I make you some breakfast?"

"I got up early this morning, so I've already eaten."

"Okay, well, you can have a look around the house if you want. There isn't really an off-limits room or anything, but my office is the last room down the hall to the left. It's pretty cool in there, just keep it organized."

"Okay, cool." I suddenly get the overwhelming urge to hug him tightly. I've never had someone speak to me so nicely before, like they really care. I can tell that he really does care.

As he opens my bedroom door to leave, I run up to him and wrap him in a hug. He hugs me back, but asks, "What's this for, Eve? You been looking forward to seeing my office?"

"I just... I really love it here. And I'm never gonna get over the fact that you adopted me. I actually have a real home now." We stand in silence, hugging for at least a minute. I swear I hear Gee sniff at least a couple of times. When he finally leaves my room his eyes are slightly red.

He was right, his office is really damn cool. It has that dark, arty aesthetic as always, but intensified. There are comics and graphic novels from floor to ceiling and posters covering the walls. Not to mention a bunch of guitars on stands or hooked on the wall somehow.

I grab a book from off a shelf without even looking at the cover and sit down in a comfy looking red chair in the corner. I could stay in here reading all day. I almost do.

• • •

Word count: 1165

A/N: hmmm not too proud of this one

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