Finding a Way | Adopted by Gerard Way

Alone With the Moon

"Get away from my daughter and get out of my house."

The cruel words ring in my head as I dash up the stairs away from Emerald and her fuming father. I don't even go get my bag from her room before leaving the house, only pausing to slip on my sneakers. At least my phone is in my pocket.

Once outside, I don't stop running. I speed down the lane, turn left, and keep going down the road. My lungs are burning and my head is starting to spin, but I can't catch my breath even if I wanted to stop and try, because I'm crying. Hard. The only thing illuminating my path is the moon and some streetlights and I only stop when I'm about half a mile away from the house where I find a solitary bench on a street corner.

How did everything go to shit in such a short amount of time? He just had to come downstairs at that moment. That otherwise perfect moment... and to think I was so excited for this night. Now I'm not sure I'll ever be able to go back there. But what do I do now? It's like 9PM and Gee isn't home because he's out somewhere with Frank and the others.

With trembling hands, I pull my phone out of my pocket anyway. I only have five contacts: Em, Frank, Gee, Mikey, and Ray. I can't sit on this stupidly cold bench all night; I don't have a jacket on and I don't fancy dying of hypothermia. I need to call someone.

I let it ring many times, my tears falling quicker with every passing second, but Gerard doesn't pick up.

Great.

I wrap my arms around myself, not bothering to stifle my sobs. Fuck Emerald's father and his fucking outdated ideas. Fuck. Him.

I look up at the stars and scream it out, "Fuck him!" Anger and pain are apparent in my voice. Good thing I'm alone—

I hear a startled scream ring out from the other side of the street.

Evelyn, you idiot. It's Halloween. People are outside tonight.

"Um, sorry!" I call out hesitantly.

No response. Just footsteps hurrying in the other direction, away from me. Just like everyone and everything else in my life; they've left.

I'm so pathetic, aren't I? I should've known better than to kiss her back. I'm still in shock that she did what she did, though. I mean, who would want to kiss me in the first place? I'm, well, I'm worthless. I'm cowardly, annoying, good for nothing, ugly, untalented, stupid, fat.

That's right, Evelyn. You're disgusting.

Oh, fuck off.

Never.

What did I ever do? Why can't I just be normal? I don't like this person I've become. Always lying, always worrying. Oh, and falling for a girl I can never have. Especially not after that.

I'm crying harder now, these thoughts swirling around my head are becoming too much. I try calling Gerard again.

Still, no answer.

You know what? Maybe I deserve this. I'm freezing, shaking uncontrollably, and I deserve this. The night is silent other than my crying, and I deserve this pain. The streetlight above me at least gives off a falsely comforting glow. I look up at it, seeing a few moths buzzing around the light, and then it flickers a few times.

The streetlight goes out.

I guess I'm truly alone now, only with the moon above me to keep me company.

I try calling Gerard again every few minutes. I try calling Mikey, Ray, and Frank, too. I'm desperate. It's about 10:30PM when, after dozens of attempts, my phone actually starts to ring.