Finding a Way | Adopted by Gerard Way

Weak

After dinner last night, I went to bed early, feeling more tired than usual. I was also hoping beyond hope that school would miraculously be cancelled. Maybe the school would flood from all the rain? Unlikely.

But now, I regret wishing for a reason to miss school, because a reason was granted to me, alright.

It's about 4:30AM and I can't sleep for shit. I've been endlessly tossing and turning in bed, my stomach churning.

There is a stomach bug going around my school but I never thought I'd catch it since everyone stays away from me, and that of course is including Emerald. I saw her hanging around with some other people yesterday. What I'd call, 'preppy girls.'

Oh, god. I hate throwing up, but I can't stop myself from jumping out of bed and dashing to my bathroom before doing just that. My dinner from last night comes up, burning my throat in the process, but that's all. That's all I ate.

That's all I can ever usually manage without that voice it my head having something to say. Even then, it usually doesn't shut up completely.

I flush the toilet, wash my hands and rinse my mouth with water from the sink, then slide down with my back against the wall onto the cold bathroom floor. I'm too exhausted right now to go back to my bed, not to mention terrified that I'll have to jump out of it again.

I close my eyes, shaking from head to toe, and take deep breaths.

Somehow, I fall asleep again thinking, "I hope I didn't wake Gerard."

It seems I didn't, because the next thing I know he's entering my room to wake me up for school, which rarely happens. I usually get up myself before he could even think to get up.

One day when he was driving me to school, he even told me, "You know, Eve, I really appreciate you getting up and making yourself breakfast every morning." His words were so heartfelt, especially when he added, "You're so responsible."

Guilt instantly hit me like a ton of bricks, but I simply nodded and thanked him with a small and insincere smile. He bought it.

"Eve? It's 7:30, you gotta get up for school!" He says, letting himself into my bedroom. I hear him stop in his tracks when he realizes I'm not in bed. "Evelyn?"

I stay silent, afraid of opening my mouth because I'm still feeling absurdly nauseous. I don't even open my eyes when Gee steps into my bathroom.

"Evie?" He asks tentatively. He can't tell if I'm asleep or not, so I just hum in response. He crouches next to me, "Are you okay? Are you sick?"

I nod very slightly, my eyes still squeezed shut.

He brushes some hair off my sweat-soaked forehead and checks my temperature with the back of his hand. I might have a fever, but I somehow feel cold. I still can't stop shaking.

"Alright, Eve, you're not going to school today."

Yeah, no shit.

"Let me help you get back to bed." He reaches for my arm to help me up, but as soon as he does I shake my head wildly feeling that any second now I might—

Yep.

But, this time I have someone holding my hair back for me. I hate it. I feel so weak and out of control and even embarrassed. Embarrassed that Gerard is seeing me in this state and that I can't just be his "responsible" kid and take care of myself.

"I- I don't want you here," I choke out, leaning against the wall again. A few stray tears slide down my face. "You don't need to be here."

"Eve, it's okay. I'm not leaving you alone," he says, wiping my tears with his thumbs. So, this is how good parents act in a situation like this?