Secrets Left Neglected

Chapter 61

Tadhg

I wrap the towel around my waist and fumble with the ends of it. I have to work at getting the towel over to my left hip. Before this was something I did effortlessly. Now, however, it takes intense concentration. I'm still having problems even recognizing that I have trouble with my left side, let alone consciously working with the left side of my body to do something.

I'm getting a little bit better, though. It just takes me more effort and time to do everything.

I start on my right hip and carefully use the towel ends to help my fingers find their way over to my left side. Once there, I grope and blunder my way towards wrapping the towel up on my left hip so I don't lose the material when I start to walk.

Before leaving the bathroom I look up at the mirror and see a small note Caoilainn has left me. "Turn your head to the left. I follow her instructions and find the bathroom door in front of me. There's another note near its doorknob. It reminds me to turn my head to my left again before pushing to the left.

I follow the instructions slowly. I don't want to walk into our door. After our little tryst in the kitchen, I now have bruises on my arm and forehead.

I smile. These battle wounds were well worth the effort.

Walking forward and around the door-jam, I go into our bedroom and find that Caoilainn has closed all of our curtains and has dimmed the lights.

Odd.

It's only mid-day.

I notice another large note on our bed. "Look to your left. Turn your head, Tadhg."

When I follow her instructions I see that our bureau is covered in big and small candles. There's a bottle of something cold sitting in an ice bucket alongside two flute glasses. From somewhere to the side a light tune comes on and Caoilainn finds my waist, wrapping her arms around me from behind. "Hey," she coos.

Surprised, I turn in place and find Caoilainn before me in nothing more than a white, see-through, knee-length negligee. "Hey, yourself," I reply, kissing her on the mouth. Our tongues comingle and I lose all interest in making sure my towel stays wrapped around my hips.

Lost in each other, we slowly walk towards to our bed. Before we tumble over Caoilainn stops me and helps me sit. Then she moves her hands up my chest with light pressure, pushing me slightly against my shoulders.

Her mouth finds my nipple and a live current sparks down my body chasing her lips on my skin.

"I love you, Tadhg," she teases me, biting me lightly near my belly button.

I can't help but laugh, "I love you, too, Hellcat."

When she finds her way further, I suck in a gasp and close my eyes, letting the frenzy of emotion overcome me.

Before long, Caoilainn crawls back up my body, licking and kissing me as she goes. Her legs straddle my hips and she seats herself on top of me.

I groan at her tightness and she whimpers over me, leaning down to suckle my earlobe and adds more rhythm to her hips. Before long her whimpering increases and I feel the urge to take hold of the wheel to drive myself home, needing to plunder and push against her. Groping for purchase on our bed, and letting her help me balance, I'm across her back thrusting inside her, in a fury of love-making that has us both panting for breath. We soon collapse in a heap on the bed, our own musky smells blending together with the scented candles wafting in the air.

Later, when they've all been blown out, and we've re-showered again, when the night has painted the sky black in a blanket of stars, I lay on our bed with Caoilainn in my arms and twist her dark auburn locks around my fingers. I glance out the window, watching as errant cloud wisp drifts across the full moon.

Caoilainn deserves so much more than I've been giving her. I can see in her eyes how tired she is. My injury has worn her out. I feel helpless to do anything about it. It's making me restless. I need to do something, but I don't know what.

I'm getting a little better each day, but it's taking too long. I need to be better faster. I need to be a better husband to Caoilainn. I need to feel like a man, able to do for myself, and her.

Fueled by frustration, I carefully shift Caoilainn off my chest and wrap her around herself in some pillows and blankets on the bed. Sitting up, I move my legs to the side of the bed and rub my temples.

Out of no-where Jenny comes to mind and I think how lucky she was to have had her Uncle's help. Almost instantly, an idea begins to bloom and take root in my mind.

Artair!

If I can get to him, if I can just talk to him, maybe he can help me get better.

Feeling excited, I impulsively stand up and look back at the bed, too.

I know what I have to do.

I move around our room, following Caoilainn's notes and reminders so that I can gather everything I need without waking her up.

I'll just go while she's asleep, I think to myself, and then by the time she stirs, I'll be on the road. I'll wait and call her then to let her know what I'm doing. It'll be a surprise.

Wide awake, and adrenaline-driven, I shuffle out of our bedroom and down the stairs. I grab my coat on my way out, opening the back door to the dead of night. I can hear crickets chirping in the quiet.

In my rush to get moving, I never consider leaving Caoilainn a note so she'll know where I've gone.

If I were well, I would've realized that my fool-hardy idea would cause unforeseen consequences for both myself and Caoilainn, not to mention the rest of my family.

I'm not well, however, and since I'm also not wearing my impulse control bracelet, I have no visual reminders to make me stop before I act.

I'm out the back door before Caoilainn knows I've gone, unknowingly also leaving my cell phone behind as well.