Secrets Left Neglected

Chapter 62

Caoilainn

When my hand finds empty air on top of Tadhg's pillow instead of his head I sit up groggily and look around. I rub my eyes absently, knocking some sleep from them. When I look out the window I can see the sun peaking over the horizon. It's just about dawn.

I smooth my hair back from my face and yawn. Then I moan and half-flop, half drift back onto my own pillow. I close my eyes and grab Tadhg's pillow to put on top of my face. Then I turn on my side, keeping the pillow on my head, while wedging my comforter between my legs. I leave just enough breathing space for my face to peek out from under it all.

I feel good. It's been a long couple of weeks but yesterday was quite nice and the possibility of languishing in bed today feels even better. Tadhg and I have been working everyday with his various therapists; speech-language, occupational, physical...uh. I can see him getting better, though, each week. It's been very slow and very frustrating at times. Sometimes I even cry myself senseless in the bathroom while Tadhg is occupied with one of them. But when we're together I try to keep a brave face. I have to. I love him. This is tough but our love is stronger. Together we'll get through this.

Last night felt like a breakthrough. It was the first time in a long time that we were together like that. I was fearing that it might not ever happen again, but it did. Thank goodness.

Composing my thoughts, I sit up in bed, yawning. I look around the room and see that some of my things are still on the floor from the night before.

Darn.

I hope Tadhg didn't trip on any of them getting out of bed. With the neglect I have to be really careful about what's left on the floor. If it's not in his line of sight Tadhg won't see it and that means a potential fall. He doesn't need any further head trauma.

I swing my feet to the side of the bed before standing up and going around to pick up my things. I smile when I find one of Tadhg's shirts next to mine. I pick them both up and thrown my own on our bed. Then I bring Tadhg's up to my nose and smell it.

I love his scent. It's so nice to have him home again. Wrapped around my body, his arms across my chest and rubbing me good night.

The bathroom door is open so I walk inside and take care of morning business, going to the bathroom and brushing my teeth.

While I rinse with mouthwash, I notice how quiet the house is.

Strange, I think to myself.

Why does it feel so still?

Did Tadhg get up in the night and forget to come back to bed?

I tip toe down to the living room in case he's fallen asleep on our couch but am surprised to find it empty.

"Tadhg," I call out, walking into our kitchen as I do. "Tadhg, where are you?"

There's no response.

Where is he?

When I turn around the corner of the doorway between our kitchen and the mud room I gasp. Our back door is wide open! It's freezing in here. Why would he leave it open like this? I slip on a pair of Keds from our shoe bin and grab a wool shawl off one of the hooks nearby before walking outside.

"Tadhg!" I call out the back door.

Is he in the shed?

What's going on?

A thin bead of dread is starting to form in my spine.

"Tadhg!" I holler again, coming upon a deserted and locked shed. I turn in place and look around our fenced yard, clueless. He's not out here.

Anxiety now mounting, I run back inside and call out to him again.

Maybe he's in our basement.

"Tadhg!" I yell. "Tadhg, where are you? Tadhg! Answer me!"

I turn on the light to the stairwell and pound down the steps but he's not down there either.

Running back upstairs, I continue calling out his name as I go from room to room looking for him.

When I enter the garage I see that my car and his truck are still parked. I wipe my hair from my eyes and turn in place with my hands on my hips.

Where the heck can he be?