WHAT IS REAL

XLII

Just as she was turning from the mirror, she heard the sound she had been waiting for all afternoon. The click of the door just before it was flung open. She gave a cry and ran for the door. Luckily for her it open all the way before reached it and she flung herself into Vader's arms. He was ready for it though. He had felt her tension and excitement while he was still outside. He gladly held her in his arms. He kissed her tears as he held her. No tears would come from him though. Just as his arms were hard so was the wall around his feelings. Yes he knew in his head that he loved her and he was happy to see her. Every fiber of his being wanted to touch her, to hold her and make love to her, but to cry as he used to at their meeting or whisper those 3 little words she wanted most to hear he just could not do it.

She did not care though she clung to him and actually dug her nails into his back so he would not let her go. Indeed she would have literally crawled inside him if it were physically possible. He carried her upstairs and still she would not let him go. As quickly as she could she removed his clothing and started kissing him from head to toe. He responded in kind and their body's danced in perfect rhythm until they were both satisfied. Vader fell asleep but Padme lay awake in his arms for quite a while. She had watched his face as they had made love and now all she could do was shed silent tears for what had not been on his face. Though they done an act, which should solidify their love, she had seen no love on his face. She knew somewhere deep inside was that love but he would not show it no matter what. There was no crack in his visage. It held the same unemotional look she knew he gave to all people. Anger seemed to be the only emotion he allowed to run rampant through him now. She had know this all along but somehow she had deluded herself into thinking she could crack that face somehow. She faced reality tonight though and it hurt more than she could possibly have thought. Right now all she could is cry her grief into her pillow.

Vader woke and relished the feel of Padme in his arms. He was immediately hit though by a cloud of sadness that seemed to be hovering over her head. What was wrong with her? She should be happy because I am here. I know that I am content right here with her in my arms.

A voice dared to be heard inside his head at that moment. The problem is you don't love her as I do. You go through all the motions of loving her but you don't let yourself feel the love. I feel the love. I give her love.