A Chosen Daughter

Chapter 52*N

Sophie was all out of options for who could be behind the food being brought up to her room.  She had made an utter fool of herself talking to Chris, Michael, Ste, Pete, Ant, Dave, Tony and Mark, all of which denied being the culprit and suggested someone else.  Every time they named him her heart would jump with hope, a false hope she would remind herself; how she would love if that could be true, but she knew it wasn't, she knew he didn't care for her in anyway, he didn't want her so why would he?!

That's why the following morning she found herself going to the kitchen to see if she could find the woman and girl to see if she could talk them into stopping.  Walking into the busy kitchen she attracts the attention of all inside, some for only a split of a second others more lingering.  Spotting Elsie she smiles shyly at her, while Elsie positively beams back at her "Beta female!  Glad to see you this morning" She joyfully exclaims, her smile dimming as Sophie frantically shakes her head "No!  Don't ..." she clears her throat ".. You shouldn't .." her chest tightens, her breath hitches as her eyes fill with tears 'Goddess this is so embarrassing!  I'm close to meltdown here.  Must control my emotions!  Must control my emotions!' Sophie thinks to herself. " ... I'm not .." she swallows thickly shaking her head. 

Now every eye was upon her, the emotions on every face visible, ranging from wary confusion to alarmed worry.  "What do you mean sweetie? Your Daniels mate ... right?" One of the women asks.  Sophie sucks in a deep breath raising her eyes to the ceiling "well ... erm" she lowers her eyes to her fidgeting fingers that stroke and pull each other,  "I guess ... technically.... yes ... but" she starts shaking her head, her breath hitching, as she wipes impatiently at a stray tear "we're not .. he ... I'm not..."
"Yes you are" Sophie freezes at the voice, a quick glance over her shoulder confirms that it really is him.  She turns her head away blinking furiously at the floor as she processes the bags under his broken looking hazel eyes, the hollowness to his tear stained cheeks.  Was this a result of her lost of appetite? Was this because of her? She asks herself 'of course not!  Goddess I'm such an idiot!  Like this is because of me!  He doesn't care about me!  Most likely the toll of this hell limbo taking effect on him too!' She thinks.

"Sophie .." his husky voice breaks slightly.  Her hand rises to wipe away more traitorous tears.  The sound of a slap followed by a 'ugh' fills the now silent kitchen, turning Sophie stares stunned as the kind motherly woman whose patiently coaxed her to eat the past three mornings is still lowering her hand, glaring angrily at Daniel. "What are you waiting for boy?!  Start talking already!! Or do you need another slap to knock some sense into you?" She raises her palm threateningly, Daniels arm automatically comes up to shield himself from more attacks as he exclaims "Mum!  I'm trying ... back off with the slaps!!"
"Mum?" Sophie whispers her eyes becoming wider as she looks repeatedly from the woman whose now smiling kindly at her and Daniel whose looking sheepish.  Stood next to each other now she could see that they have the same eyes.

"Yeah .. Sophie let me officially introduce you to my mum Mora" Sophie feels her mouth drop open as a blush sits on her cheeks as she stares at the woman whose still giving her a kind smile "I'm sorry about my lad dear.  Coulda swore I'd raised him better than this!" Mora tells her with a voice full of shame and disappointment.  Daniel grimaces and looks at the ground "You did Mum.  I'm just an idiot!" He glances at Sophie "the biggest going! ... Goddess I don't even know where or how to start ... I swear Sophie, it was never my intention to make you feel like I didn't care, to make you feel like I was re.." he breaks off with a sob unable  to say the word.  Sophie gapes at him.

Quickly he pulls himself together and fixes her with his desperate stare "I was a coward!  For the first time in my life I was a coward! ..." he breaks eye contact for a couple of seconds as he figures out how to say what he needed to tell her "I couldn't just utter sorry to you, how does sorry even cut it? It doesn't!  The longer I despaired over how to apologise without it seeming so triffle ... the harder it became to face you!  So I avoided you.  Saying sorry still doesn't seem enough for what I've put you through ... but it is all I have and I mean it with every bit of my heart  and soul.... I will do anything to show you how much I regret my actions - all of them!  I will say it several times a day for rest of my life if you'll just allow me in your presence long enough to say it"  Sophie having long given up trying to stop or wipe away her tears, watched him in disbelief "why are you doing this?" She whispers to which he frowns confused "why are you doing this? Why put us through this when your going to ... when you already .. pretty much re.."
"No!" Daniel shouts making Sophie jump he looks at her apologetically "please don't say that word!" Sophie frowns confused "I am not, nor am I ever going to, or was ever intending to .." he gulps "that word!" Sophie blinks at him.

"What's changed?" Daniel frowns shaking his head "cuz I haven't!  I'm still not .." she hesitates as her mind supplies beautiful, curvy, sexy, experienced, "... what you like or want" she finishes quietly.
"That's not true!  Please don't think that!  You are so gorgeous ... in each and every way - don't doubt that!  Please don't doubt that!" Sophie starts shaking her head "you are what I like!  You are what I want!  Who I want!  I want you something terrible ... more than air ... and I don't just mean .." he hesitates a blush rising on his cheeks as he glances at his mother before looking back at Sophie clearing his throat to continue "I don't just mean sexually but in every way!" Now Sophie was the one blushing. "Please give me a chance to show you that!  To earn your forgiveness"

Sophie looks away, attempting to think of what to say, what to do, in the end she decided blunt honesty.  Raising her head slowly to meet her tearful eyes with his desperate ones, her voice a quiet whisper "I don't know what to say!  What do you expect me to say? How do you expect me to take this? You have pretty much rejected me in every way that you can without uttering the words!" Daniel winces at the horrid 'R' word and visibly collapses in on himself with her sentence "I have been waiting days, weeks, for you to man up and finally say those heart wrenching words.  I've waited until I've come, to the conclusion this limbo hell is more heart wrenching, than stating the actual sentence!" Daniel pales dreading where this was going, his mouth opening and closing but words failing him. "I have been debating the decision to take the step and end it for us both" Daniel starts shaking his head frantically, falling to his knees grasping his chest "please .." he whimpers
"I am torn" she confesses "this limbo hell is no good for us, it's destructive to ourselves.  Avoiding doesn't help it, pretending doesn't change it!  Logically I should just be brave and utter the sentence to free us both" Daniel whimpers "yet my heart longs for a future it has no right to put faith in, a future that's not possible!  A future that has been repeatedly, blatantly, shown to be not an option for me, with each careless act of disregard and disrespect you have shown me, it has successfully hit that message loud and clear to my mind .... but not my heart!  The silly thing keeps hoping for a change, for a chance!  So now I'm torn ... you present such a thing to my fragile heart but yet my mind can see the truth ... your starting to feel the toll this limbo you have created for us has taken, and with it, you think I maybe the lesser of burdens" Daniel whimpers shaking his head, his tears falling freely "it's not like that ... I promise it's not!"
Sophie looks at him sadly "what worth is your promise to me? Faith and trust must be present to accept a promise, to give it any worth ... I have neither left for you" she turns to walk away, as Daniel sobs "I'll think on this and your words like the fool I surely am" and with that she walks out of the kitchen wiping away the flood of tears on her way back to her room.  Her ears still ringing with Daniels heartbroken sobs.