Deep Monologues

Bridge

A/N: Hello everyone! I hope you guys are having an okay 2019 so far. I just wanna take the time and thank everyone for the 2k reads on this little random story you could say because to me I thought it was gonna be nothing but meaningless words type on a device. It was a way for me to rant out of what I'm feeling and all sorts of stuff so I didn't expect something out of it boy was I wrong. Anyways! This part is gonna be slightly different then the others. Besides it being it all sorrowful and depressing this one is gonna have a little faith and hope in it. I hope you enjoy and I hope the rest of this year treats you well with positive thoughts and people.

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For the longest time I've floated in the abyss of pure darkness. No one to save me or to call out to. At that moment, what's the point....what's the point of continuing on where there is no meaning.

They took everything from me...happiness, joy, freedom! It's all gone, all of it. No one would bother to save me I'll just be a burden to them.

And each insult, each shame calling , each name-calling that is thrown at me I just sink a bit more deeper. Don't say that I haven't tried because I did! I did. I changed, I tried to fit in, I even tried to enjoy things that aren't even me. I even gone so far to change my appearance. I starved myself for you, changed my style for you, my looks, my personality all so that you can like me as the human I am but I'll always be the outcast no matter how much I changed.

So, to end all of this pain and suffering I thought of the most selfish act I could have think of. But, even through death he wouldn't take me. A stomach full of pills would not work no matter how many times I have tried. The multiple cuts on my wrist will constantly bleed down my wrist, no matter where or how deep the blade will go. My mind will forever be tainted by deadly thoughts and voices for as long I live. I'm not just broken.....I'm damaged beyond repair.

As I gave up on everything I thought I'll at least give something a try. And I did. Drum lines blast through speakers. Guitar riffs blaring through my skull. Lyrical lyrics being sung beautifully with passion and emotion with feelings I am never able to say to a direct person. I lost count how many times a good song had made me cry in the best way possible ever in my life because of some simple meaningful words pieced together perfecting.

When things tend to be wrong all I do is shut the world out and turn up the volume because all I really need in those dark times is just the lyrics.

Thanks to that I lived a few more years longer. And after those few years I met people. People who accept me for me. I didn't have to change for them or fit in for them to like me. I didn't have to starve myself any longer. I didn't need to change my personality. I didn't need to change my style. I can finally be me. The girl I see in the mirror for god knows how long.

Of course there will be people and adults telling me to be this and that but you know what I've learned over the years is to tell them off. Our life is like a bridge almost like a song. You need some lyrics in order to make it to the chorus and we build that ourselves. Others will be determine to tear down your bridge so that they don't see you succeed and others will standby your side and help you build your bridge until you reach whatever you desired.

My life started with me floating around in the painful darkness that I endured everyday in which people would pile more and more things on me. I would sink deeper and deeper until I couldn't breathe nor longer live in that state I was. But now as time have progressed, I'm no longer sinking if anything. I've been building my bridge to what I desired most.

A future that I never saw it coming.