Deep Monologues

Hearing

I'm here to tell a story, a story of a girl who I know who struggled with a lot of things about her and this is one of them. For the longest time she was known to be quiet and timid. She enjoy having her thoughts to herself at times. But, when it comes to a moment where she want someone to hear what she wants to tell them. They can't hear her. If anything they don't even notice her talking. Her small voice is quieted by the loud noises that is in our world. And she tries and tries to talk louder but it seemed impossible for her. It hurts her throat, it makes her wanna cry from the pain she's putting herself through, the stress on her voice. Her words become meaningless and just turns into thin air. People are able to hear her if she just write it out for them or text it to them. But she knows she doesn't want to live that way. She wants people to actually hear her. And she's well aware people are trying to be helpful and be her voice for her but she doesn't wanna be depended on someone to use their voice. She has her own for a reason.

But like she told herself it's impossible. She's that one girl amongst her friends who barely says a word and when she does no one hears her. No one acknowledged the statement she just said and she just slowly goes back to the sidelines and smiles around at everyone like nothing happened. Besides, one person. And that one person hears what she has to say. She was happy and thrilled. For once she felt like everything was in order and fine like she has a purpose. But lately she haven't been there since the beginning of this year to hear her as much. And the longer she's away the more likely her voice starts to fade. She only replies to simple short answers when people ask her. She only nods and laugh amongst her friends, doesn't wanna jump into the conversation. She can feel herself become distant and avoidance. Until all of a sudden that one person decided to leave her one day.

All because no one will hear what she has to say. "Where is my friend?" This girl cried that night because she felt alone. Her silent screams remnants along the bathroom walls. Her dead eyes that once shined with hope, trust, and care was gone and she stares endlessly at a blank wall. Her smile was gone. Her heart that will beat for anyone stopped and turned into stone. Her emotions started to drain out of her wrist down to the facet as she felt herself revert back to her old habits. All she wished was someone to at least hear her. Was it too much for her to ask?

She once again hates herself, more than hate despise herself. Just all because she was her. Now when she sees that person, she feels nothing. And not to that person, to everyone but yet she'll act like nothing is wrong. After all,

No one will hear her.