Deep Monologues

Things Never Change

Usually things are meant to be on repeat everyday in our daily lives. Some may like it others don't. To me, I don't mind the same routinely schedule I follow. If anything it's the people I'm surrounded with makes it difficult for me to live or be around. You would think that people who care about you might actually change your life or make you a better person then you were in the past. They did at some parts but there's areas that remained the same. Those areas that remained the same is what makes me the haunting image of the person I wanna forget in the past.

If I am ever acknowledged it'll only last for a second or short period of a break. Unfortunately I'm the quiet voice that no one hears at all. Others says that's good even my friends think it's good but I honestly hate it. Because it makes me feel like I'm not even there or to better put it, invisible. I'm also the girl in the group that is hardly taken seriously. When times are serious it's too late. Finally I'm the one friend who felt outcasted in a way certain that it hurt at first but grew numb to the pain and lived with it. I show no signs of how I feel. Actually I hardly feel anything at all towards certain people. All I feel is anger, annoyance, irritation, and sadness. But no one won't know. Because they always fall for that stupid smile I put on every day.

Because of this I tried to stand up and try to make the people who I care about to notice me but it all seems like they're fighting back against me. I start falling deeper and deeper. Until all my senses have turned black and white. I'm hardly heard on group text. I'm hardly socializing with people. I'm hardly leaving my house. I feel like things are going back to the way it once was. And pretty soon....I'll just vanish. I guess the one thing I have to say about this is.

Things never change.