Beauty and the Beast | Fillie

Hunger

➵

When Millie opened her eyes, she found herself laying down the mattress of the usual room which smelled like a strange mixture of roses and jasmine; the pale winter sun was up in the cold sky, and Millie checked lazily the hour on her watch.

Ten a.m. She was supposed to work that morning, and helping the other girls cleaning. Oversleeping was becoming an habit she didn't like, but that happened just when Finn and her fought: she always felt like something heavy was hanging over her, a pressure she really couldn't stand, and a sense of sleepiness which always urged her to drown into the darkness.

She had had her first fight with him after they have kissed, after exposing each other; and it was so different than all the other arguments they had in the past. It had a whole new meaning, and she felt bad, so bad words couldn't even describe it.

With a corner of her hazel eye, she looked at the loneliness surrounding her: Finn wasn't there, he had probably left for going to work. But his side of the mattress still had his shape, his scent and his warmth: that meant he went away not many hours before.

She didn't know, but the first things Finn did before jumping off that canopy bed were tucking her in even more under the blankets and, immediately, stealing her a butterfly kiss on the forehead. Good morning kisses were important for him, especially after a fight.

Millie looked at the coffee table in the middle of the room, and caught the sight of a tray filled with tasty things: orange juice, a Starbucks vanilla latte (she couldn't believe he even knew her favorite drink), and pancakes topped with blueberries and strawberries.

She had skipped dinner and her stomach was really imploring her to eat something, and, in a way, she knew that Finn would pissed off if she didn't eat; she grabbed the tray and rested it on her lap, eating while the heavy silence of the room was resounding in her head. And for how much the meal was good, she didn't really enjoy it's she usually did. Her body, had mind, weren't satisfied, and she didn't know why.

A sigh resounded in those four royal walls. After collecting her things, Millie quickly made her way out of the room, trying to avoid the gaze of other people who, by now, were used to see her hanging around in the boss's apartments.

There were some who called her a whore. There were some who were just envy. And then, there were some who were just happy for her, and these people were the trio: Lilia, Gaten and Caleb.

With her head bent down — she couldn't deal with judgmental eyes of her colleagues who were cleaning and clearly talking shit about her, she finally reached the kitchen, where her friends were discussing about the upcoming party.

"Hey." Millie whispered, taking a sit on the stool and feeling kind of dizzy.

"Millie!" Lilia looked at her seriously, "I know love comes first, but the second floor can't be cleaned by itself."

"Yes, I know. My fault. I o-overslept..." she said, sighing loudly, almost stuttering and taking a small bite of one of the French toasts on the tray, an unconditional reflex of her body to relax itself; in a way, food always filled her when something was missing.

Was it pathetic? Being constantly hungry and filling herself so much just because she couldn't have what she really wanted? She loved eating, she loved sweets or junk food in general, absolutely no news. But with Finn her hunger multiplied. With Finn, she would have eaten an entire candy shop just to avoid the real desire she always felt for him in her body.

Food filled her frustration, her anger, her repressed love she just couldn't show. And that day, she noticed with horror, food wasn't enough anymore.