Ghost of You

26

-Kennedy-

I sat in the waiting room, trying not to squirm so much at the uncomfortable silence. The other people there were reading magazines or on their phones but I chose to just wait. I had too much on my mind to read anything and my phone was a goner after I threw it into oblivion yesterday.

The night had been restless, I couldn't fall asleep knowing that another girl was in Luke's bed. It was excruciatingly painful to lay there knowing that there was nothing I could do to fix any of it.

When the morning came I struggled to even get out of bed. Sadness held me down like a giant weight on my chest. If it weren't for my appointment, I probably would have stayed in bed all day. But I knew I had to go to my therapy appointment. It was the first one since I got discharged from the hospital, and I was quite conflicted about it.

I was staring at the plain paintings on the wall when a woman in a crisp white lab coat called my name. I followed her down the hall to a small room. I sat down on a plushy chair and waited for my therapist to arrive.

"Kennedy, it's so nice to see you!" Dr. Richards greeted with a warm smile.

"Hi." I replied softly.

"So, how have you been feeling recently?" She asked, nonchalantly diving into dicey territory.

"Splendid." I laughed. "Everything is perfect."

She raised her thin eyebrows at me. "What makes you say that?"

Something about the question set me off. It was all too ironic. "Well, let me see, I was sexually abused, I was shamed all over the internet for said abuse, I was raped by my crazy ex boyfriend, I was hospitalized, I tried to cut myself open because I felt trapped in my body, I can't sleep at night because I have nightmares where I relive being raped every night, I can't be touched without feeling like I'm being burned at the stake, I can't get intimate with my boyfriend without having a panic attack, I'm a nuisance to everyone in my life because they have to take care of me, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me after only being gone for a few days, I got a call last night from the groupie that's sleeping with my boyfriend, and I'm trending on twitter for being the girl that Luke Hemmings used as a  publicity stunt. That, Dr. Richards, is why." It all exploded out of me at once.

The poor doctor just stared at me dumbfounded by the sudden outburst. I picked my purse up from the chair and stormed out the door.

"Miss Coleman!" She called after me, but I kept walking until I was clear out of that building.

Just as I thought I was safe, bursts of light came from my every direction. Big camera lenses were shove in my face and people yelled to get my attention.

"Kennedy! Do you have a comment on Luke's new woman?"

"What happened to make him need someone else?"

"Do you know the mystery woman?"

"Kennedy! When did the two of you split?"

"Do you still live together?"

All of it was just too much, so I ran. I ran through the hoard like a football player racing to the end zone. I got in my car and the tires squealed as I raced away. Paparazzi seeing me storming out of therapy was just the cherry on top of my shitty week. The last thing I needed was to be on the covers of some stupid tabloid.

Tears streamed down my face as I slammed the door to my house shut. I let my back press against the wall and I slowly slid to the floor. I had officially made it to rock bottom, my all time low. And that's when I realized, if this was the end then I might as well go out with a bang.