Spice of Life

Unraveled

--Posh Spice
Once the door closed, Zayn stepped back from our kiss.

"Ok. You gotta tell me what's going on," he looked into my eyes with the uttermost concern as his hands cupped my arms.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Why did you keep saying that you wanted to be together then bailing on me?" He drew his arms away, shifting on his feet. I looked at the ground. "I deserve an answer."

I sighed, licking my lips and looking up at him.

"I push people away," I sighed again, sitting on the edge of a nearby sofa as I rubbed my hands on my jeans. He waited for further explanation.

"Because I," I swallowed as a tear blurred my vision. "Ahem, to tell you the truth, I don't know what's wrong with me half the time," I shook my head, tears blurring my vision. "People have left me too many times...I can't bear the thought of them leaving me again...I care so much, and after Brian and I broke up, I guess I just went numb."
"But I know you're different, better, than all those people. So when I met you, I started opening up again and it scared me. It scared me to think I had a future with someone as perfect as you. I don't want to have all these good times and see our relationship crash just as quickly as it started. It seemed easier for me to just avoid it. But I can't leave you, because you make me feel so much better than all those other guys who wronged me. And, I don't know...," I hyperventilated, tears running down my face. "I mean, I get panic attacks just thinking about who the next person who will leave me is."

A/N: your author is back! For more info on why I'm back on this fanfic after multiple years, check my conversation page...Hope everyone has a great Martin Luther King Jr. Day!! ❤❤