Black Leather and White Fur (Chat Noir X Reader)

Ch 36

I grumbled as I flung my backpack over my shoulder with all of my books in it. I had homework in every class over the weekend.

It's a wonder I can stand up straight anymore.

"(Y/n)? Can't your bag be any lighter? That's a lot of strain on you" Kama sat on my shoulder on top of my strap. Her voice had a hint of concern.

"Unfortunately not, education is more important than health, obviously," I adjusted my pack before setting out the door.

I know my bag is heavy, but I've gotten so used to carrying it that I hardly notice the weight anymore. I grabbed my binders out of my locker and shut it. I didn't want to walk all the way back if I dropped my textbooks off now.

"Hey guys, have you heard this song? It's pretty crazy and old. Come and listen to it" Kim was talking to some of the class and pulling out his phone.

I came over to listen, I used to have some old songs, maybe I would recognize it.

I was in the circle when he started the song.

And oh, it was a song that I knew so well.

It was also a song I never wanted to hear again.

As soon as I knew what it was I couldn't stand it.

"Turn it off"

Kim looked at me like I was mad, A/n: the fancy kind "what are you talking about? It's not that bad of a song." He didn't turn it off.

I raised my voice a bit, fighting the trembling that slowly starts. I tried to sound firm. "Kim, I said turn it off."

He goes to open his mouth, but before he can make a sound I quickly walk out of the group. Desperately trying to get away from the notes that haunt my dreams.

I felt a small paw on my neck, probably the only one who understood. Kama didn't say anything. The small kwami staying hidden.

Not paying attention to really where I was going I nicked shoulders with a large Junior or Senior.

My backpack was too heavy for me to stay balanced. I felt myself falling backward, slow motion almost.

One leg was straight in front of me in the feeble attempt to balance. My hands were stuck around binders and nothing to grab onto in the first place; I braced for impact.

The bag on my back will not be a very comfortable cushion.

I felt a hand rest on my lower back, in between my bag and myself. Another hand slid around my backpack strap, yanking my descent to a halt.

"Whoa, are you okay?" Adrien gently placed me back on my feet.

I nodded still having my heart try to go back to it's steady beating.

He leans in close to my ear, "hey, you looked pretty upset. You know, you can talk to me at any time right?"

He held my shoulders at an arms length, "I mean it, any time." He grabbed my binders and wrapped his free arm around my shoulders. "Come on, let's get to class."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Many hours later

Night to be exact

The song was playing over and over again in my brain.

It was like I was moving through molasses. Through the crowds bumping shoulders with everyone I passed. I jumped through my portal and time seemed to stop.

I was in the portal. Darkness. That's all I could see. There was an occasional gold spark like what surrounds the openings.

No opening.

No beginning.

No end.

I had the time to admire the horrific beauty inside of the rabbit hole. I usually just jump through.

All the while that same song pumping through the Sparks around me. The rifts drilling into my bloodstream.

I hardly noticed when I woke up. Tears streaming down my face.

I couldn't suffer alone tonight.

It's been too many times.

My parents have had too much on their plate lately. They are dealing with it too.

Marinette doesn't get enough sleep as it is, she's always almost falling asleep. She's still happy as ever, but the dark circles under her eyes tell a different story.

Alya is scary when she's tired and I really don't want to see her angry if I wake her in the middle of the night.

A memory drifted to my mind from today.

You can talk to me any time.

I mean it. Any time.

Is that really what he meant though?

One way to find out.

I grabbed my phone and touched his contact, having my phone dial his number.

It rang once.

Twice.

This is stupid, you're just disturbing him. He needs all the rest he can get with his busy schedule.

"Hello?"

Oh gosh he actually answered.

"Is every thing okay? Is it what Kim did today? What do you need?" He asked in rapid succession, he sounded worried.

"Just someone to talk to. Sorry Adrien it's so late, you were probably sleeping" I ran a hand through my loose hair embarrassed now that I called him.

"No, no. It's fine, talk to me."

I drew a shaky breath, attempting to calm myself. I was just about to start when Adrien spoke again.

"I'm here for you."

I completely lost it.

I told him everything. Well almost everything. I didn't tell him about Lapin Roos.

I told him about the day I lost her.

I told him about her last words.

I told him about the first words she said to me.

I told him about why Kim's song upset me.

I told him about my nightmares.

He listened the whole time.

He spoke soothingly to me when I was crying so hard I couldn't speak.

And he was there for me, just like he said.

I don't remember hanging up the phone.

And I had probably the most restful night in weeks, maybe even months.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
I walked to school with a more genuine smile then I've had in a long time.

Not fully fixed, but less broken.

When I first saw Adrien I smiled, and before we could share greetings, he hugged me.

Nice and tight, backpack and all. My arms were stuck in between us, again wrapped around my books and binders.

I felt the anxiety that's been inside me for so long dissolve. I had forgotten it was there. I placed my head on his chest.

Thank you.