The forgotten Lynch

Things are looking up

After the ambulance checked me once more we drove to the airport and flew back to LA. It was weird but cool to have new year in a plane but also boring and it was all my fault.
We arrived at our band house were only Riker, Ratliff, Rydel, Rocky,Ross, Ryland & I live since Mom & Dad live in Colorado.I still didn't slept at all. "You should sleep," Ross said when he wrapped his arm around me when we were sitting on the couch."I can't...what if I wake up and it was all a dream? What if I'm still with her?" I asked while tears brimmed in my eyes."Do you want me to stay with you?" He asked me, trying to convince me to go to sleep. "yea," I said with a nod. "alright, c'mon," he said and held his hand out for me to take it.I took his hand and we went to my room. I quickly got changed into my PJ in the bathroom and laid down in my bed. He laid next to me and turned the lights off.It was dark and I started shacking. "I-I can't," I said when I turned the lights on. "I just can't sleep," I added with tears running down my eyes."Listen Rhonwen, you need to sleep and I understand that it's scary for you but we want you to be okay and to be safe that's why I'm here. If you want you can ask Riker or whoever to sleep here just please sleep," he begged with a weak smile when he wiped my tears.I nodded and turned the lights off. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I held him close. Please don't let it be a dream. Please let me wake up, exactly where I am. I closed my eyes and rested my head on Ross' chest to feel more comfortable. Just go to sleep Rhonwen. It isn't that difficult. Don't think about her, she's never going to hurt you again.With these thoughts, I finally drifted off to sleep.
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I woke up and opened my eyes to see that I was alone in my room. The curtains where closed and it was pitch dark.The door opened and a figure was standing there. My eyes widened and I started screaming, while I hid under my blanket. "Shh, Rosa it's only me, Ross," I heard a familiar voice.I looked at him and saw that it really was him. I started crying and pushed my face into the pillow. "I HATE MY LIFE! I HATE MYSELF!" I yelled when I continued crying, uncontrollably. My breath got shorter and soon I felt dizzy. "Rhonwen!Listen! Don't ever say that again! We love you all so much and we couldn't stand it if you wouldn't here so please just calm down," he said while I heard the pain in his voice.I looked up and saw were tears running down his cheeks. Within seconds everyone else was here aswell. "Rhonwen baby, just calm and take as much time as you need," my Mom said with a worried smile."I can't do this anymore,"I whispered when I sobbed into my pillow. "it's to much for me,"I added, honestly. "what is that supposed to me mean?" Rydel asked crying."I want to lose the weight that I'm carrying on my shoulders for so long. It gets more and more by the day. My only friends died! I got kidnapped! Just everything! I love you all so so so much and without you I wouldn't know what to do but I don't want to continue my life like that," I said the last part, quieter."Don't say that! Please! We couldn't stand the pain if you wouldn't be here again," Riker said also with tears running down his cheeks."Rhonwen? How about we will get you some help?"My Dad offered the nicest way he could. Maybe this was a good idea."you could handle everything and it would be easier for you just let someone help you okay?" Dad added."Like therapy?"Ryland asked curious. "there is this organization and they have hospitals for people like you and maybe you should go there,"Dad said to me."For how long?" Ratliff asked, clearly not wanting me to leave. "Weeks, months, I don't know," Dad answered him. "I'll do it, if it makes me happier," I said before my Dad hugged me tightly."I'm proud of you," he whispered in my ear. The hug leaded to a group hug and soon Mom & Rydel were packing for me. Dad called the 'hospital' and it wasn't that far away."Are you allowed to visit me?" I asked with tears in my eyes. "sure honey, not every day but we will come," Mom answered also with tears in her eyes."It'll get better."
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We arrived and went in. I'm gonna stay here for a while and it doesn't look that bad. It's for people with depression and stuff like that."It feels like I'm an alien," I confessed when I got handed white clothes. It was kinda like for people who tried to committed suicide. Those people where here as well but in Block 2 while I was in Block 5."What will the press think about me? They're gonna say that I'm some crazy girl who hates everything," I said to my family. "they can say what they want. You're here to get help not to be in the news." "We're leaving for tour soon but we will visit you as much as we can," Rydel said when she hugged me. After I hugged everyone I got lead to my room.And with that...everything began. Therapy everyday. Talking about problems.Talking about life. Mom & Dad moved to LA for the months I'm gonna be here so that they could visit. Even my grandparents visited me once. They were all really supportive. The doctors here talked with me over my friends, their deaths. I didn't have any secrets anymore that my doctor didn't know. She was a nice young lady with bunch of good advices."How do you feel about Shawn?" She asked me after good three months of living here. "I like him, I really do. I'm just afraid..." "He probably still likes you because he even showed up here twice before your siblings went on tour with him. He wasn't allowed here since he wasn't a part of the family but he wanted to come to see you so bad," she told me which made me smile. Ratliff wasn't allowed here either so the first few times he wrote me letters or filmed himself, telling me how much he misses me and stuff like that."He did?" I asked her in disbelief. "he did," she said confident. "When do you think I'll be out of here?" I asked my doctor at the end of the therapy for the day."Maybe a few weeks. You're on a really good way to be your confident self," she said with a smile. "Thank you," I thanked her with a smile. She smiled back and hugged me."See ya tomorrow," she said before she left. I laid in my bed just thinking how much I changed in these past three months. I can handle my friends deaths and also the kidnapping incident. I never thought it would be that good. I can solve my own problems now and I'm not that fragile anymore. I'm not insecure with myself anymore either. I'm a strong 17 year old who is happy again.Who can jump over her own shadow and who can do what she things she can.I'm glad that Dad told me to go here.