Imperfect With Perfect

Gone But Never Forgotten

From now on, it will only be in Adam's POV. 

Ash and Tommy drag me away from Eva's room. I must've been pretty chaotic from the looks of sorrow in other people's eyes. Not only did the doctors and nurses pity me, but now every single human being is pitying me from a distance. I felt so attacked and weak that I covered it with anger.

"What are you looking at huh!? You haven't seen a person breaking down before?!" I yell at everyone watching me. 

A nurse arrives and insists that I leave. She puts her hands on my arms to help push me out though I  shrug her off brutally. 

"I am not going to leave her! This is just a nightmare. I just need to wake up from it. I just need to wake up." I say to myself aloud over and over again. 

"Come on, Adam. We have to go." Ash says holding in her sobs.

I refused to leave Eva, but now they brought more help to take me into the car. Tommy drove me home in my car while Ash was driving behind us in Tommy's car. I couldn't stop sobbing from losing Eva. She was my everything and now she is gone. Gone from the world. And I couldn't do anything about it. We got home and Tommy unlocked the door of my house. I stepped in and saw my house and turned around and looked at Tommy gesturing if we were in the right house. And of course, he nods. I looked back and he was right. Everything was normal. Everything in their exact spot from where we left them. But I kept walking inside and it was cold and empty even though there was furniture inside. There was nobody there to hug me when I came in. There was no Eva. There was nobody to love in this house anymore. I always asked myself that I wouldn't know what I would do without her. And right now, I don't know. I don't know if I'll ever go on in peace or will ever be happy again. I can hear Ash sniffling and Tommy closing the door behind him. 

"Adam?" Ash says.

I turn around to see her and notice that she is feeling every single pain I am feeling.

"She's gone, forever. She's gone, Ashley. And she'll never come back to see her baby girl grow up. What will I tell her when she asks for her mommy and why she abandoned her? What will I tell her? How would she react?" I say.

She shrugs and Tommy just gives me a blank face. I felt depressed, feeling the sting now more than before. The second time hurts more than the first because you now realize it much more clearer and seem to accept it more. I didn't want to accept the fact that Eva will never step foot in this house, never step foot in her baby's life, never step foot and hug me ever again. This realization breaks me down even more. My legs grow weak and I fall to my knees crying in acceptance. And what hurt me even more, is that she left without seeing her baby to fully confirm that she was alive. She just took my word for it. Tommy and Ashley bent down and hugged me. We all mourned, sharing our tears and sadness. Hours passed by and we all went to sleep without even knowing. We just drifted off.

~*~*~ The Next Day~*~*~

We all showered and dressed in black.  We head to the car and drive to have Eva cremated. We arrive to see people so dear to her around her. Her mom, her poor mom crying so hard and when she looked up to see me, she comes up to me and hugs me. I hug her back without any tears since my tear ducts could no longer produce more. I get closer and see Eva lying there ready to be burned into ashes. I see her there motionless and pale. So lifeless. A man came out and explained how they will process her and all that. I know that he was just doing his job but I hated him for doing that. To burn not only corpses, but corpses that actually have meaning to someone. He gave us a choice to either witness the process or not. Everyone decided not to watch it, but I wanted to. I wanted to be there for her even if it meant watching her burn and turn into ashes. I came forth, demonstrating that I wanted to be there for her, and right when I thought that I was the only one, her mom joined along with me. But before anything happened, Tommy came up to me and placed something in my pocket and left. I didn't know what it was, but I was afraid to take it out. The man nodded and guided us to the room in where they will be burning her. It was a room that had a huge oven and it was dark inside. They then brought her inside and I looked at her one last time. Her mom gripped my hand and I did to hers. I looked at her mom and saw that she knew what she was going to see, as if she has experienced this many times before. I didn't want to ask, so I looked back at the oven. The man looked at us and turned on the switch.