Behind the Pain

Thinking quietly

Marshall P.O.V

Morning scrapped by pretty quickly, as always my body was used to waking up pretty dam early but unlike most days when I would usually get up and start the day because there was nothing else to do and laying in bed thinking about things can be also very boring but it's also very sad and depressing when you think about about what life could be like if you hadn't made so many mistakes in the past.

But today was different, today I couldn't just simply glance to the side and check the time because for once I am waking up with someone that I know isn't and will never be a mistake.

Laying in my arms with her head resting on my chest, Andrea seemed so peaceful and calm despite the chaotic night we had and the fact that it was until 3 ish we actually fell asleep.

There have been so many times I've woken up in hotels with young groupies cuddling up to me wearing nothing at all and I can't even last lying down for 5 minutes without wanting to get out of bed and get rid of them, because I start to think about the night before and regretting majority of them. It wasn't that I regretted the nights I shared with women it's just the loneliness that comes over me the morning after and how it saddens me to think I can share so many nights with women without experiencing one emotional or affectionate feeling towards them, and to think a long time ago I had everything, I had a wife, three beautiful kids that lived with me all the time and most importantly I had a heart that wasn't afraid of showing or feeling some love.

Maybe this morning was the start of the new chapter because for once I didn't feel lonely while lying in bed and thinking about my life at the moment. Andrea doesn't even need to be awake and talking, for some reason she just has this ability of making me smile and exciting me without even doing anything.

Holding her right now, for once I don't want to do anything and I'm not thinking about ways to get rid of her, to be honest I'm doing the exact opposite, for once I'm actually scared of disturbing her because I don't want for her to wake and decide to leave because she thinks just being here was a mistake. I guess that's one of my biggest fears, and since I've had it happen to me numerous times I just don't want to risk it with her.

So slowly leaning down I lightly place a kiss on the top of her head as I gently grab her hand with my free hand that wasn't holding her waist, entwining our fingers while getting settled again hoping I don't wake her since it's only 7 in the morning.

Laying back and listening to the soft drops of rain and the wind banging against the windows, as the room was still dark from no sun being out. I start to think about my life, of course i cant help by think about my girls and how they would be getting up around about now and probably fighting like they always do on school mornings, but after a while a small smile spreads across my face as I once again think about the woman lying with me and how finally yesterday we told each other how we feel, you have no idea the relief that has been lifted of my shoulders and the happiness I feel when I allow my mind to wander back to the events that occurred last night and how we finally got to this point.

Flashback ( several hours earlier)

Andrea P.O.V

" You're home early?" Jordan asked walking through the kitchen doorway and getting some food from the fridge.

"Yeah I know" I mumbled not bothering to look up at him and just continue looking towards the ground and trying to think about what happened tonight with Marshall and I.

" I thought you were hanging with Marshall?" he asked without a doubt sensing something is wrong with me and wanting more answers, and trust me I wanted to tell him but I am so confused at the moment.