22.CHAPTER
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Roman’s Point of View:
I am fighting with myself, I need to gain back control of my body and mind, I have to calm down I really do, nothing in my life had ever felt like this before, this feeling is overwhelming and overpowering taking over my mind and body, and looking down at my stubborn little baggage quivering on my bed who is staring back at me with passionate hunger in his eyes is not helping one ounce of this situation.
I want to throw caution to the wind and dominate him completely, breaking him down and making him beg and plead for me to take him, but something is holding me back, even though I want to do it with all my heart I can’t, I would risk hurting him for my selfish desires.
I know I can be overbearing and overpowering most of the time when it comes to Cayan James, but I don’t ever want to hurt him, but what is this hunger? Why is it so deep and primal? Why do I feel the need to bend him completely to my will? Why do I want him look at me and only me?
These questions roll around in my head constantly and I have had to stop myself time and time again from restraining him and keeping him inside my room, lock away from the world.
Its is a powerful thing and its been eating at my from the time he step into my life and now it has deepen ten times more after he willingly give his body and pleasure over to me.
It was like a drug and I became addicted, its an addiction that only he can cure, but the problem with him as my cure is that I become more and more addicted, he is both my addicting drug and cure.
He does not know the power he hold over me and it makes me very uneasy the thought that he can find out and use it to bring me to my knees to grovel and beg at his feet.
I wont like him to find out but I can’t be without him, I have even begin coming home early sending others on the work trips to close deals I was suppose to close, because I don’t want him out of my sight.
This is something that has been growing and growing rising and burning like hot lava inside of me and today it has begun to spill over like a volcano ready and willing to irrupt.
I have been feeling on edge all day, that possessive hunger eating away at me, taking over my mind body and soul, I am fighting and it seems like I am loosing the battle I can’t stop myself, I have to have him, I need the feel of him writhing in my arms to confirm that he is mine.
I need to have him over and over again to brand myself on and inside him, so he never forgets who he belongs to, its not a want it has long past that stage, now its a rooted need that seeps out of my every pore.
The difference between ‘want’ and ‘need’ is great and until now I am finding out just how great a difference it is.
You can live without what you want, but you can never live without what you need.
Cayan James is what I need constantly to stay calm.
Looking down at him as pants of rapid breaths leaves his mouth, he is looking up at me with fear and desire blazing in his eyes, and that combination is making me feel wilder.
And for once I wish we was in the time where I could have haul him off to somewhere and ravish him over and over again, just like the caveman that he refers to when he call me one.
Pulling away from his sexy quivering body I walk over to the big window focusing my attention on the falling snow hoping that the coldness from outside can cool down my burning body, I am holding unto what little is left of my self control for today, still fighting this overwhelming need to devour him and damn the consequences.
Just as I was getting everything in check to calm down, I hear a small mewl from the bed, swinging my head around I look at him trying to hide his erection by pushing the heel of his hand into the crotch of his leggings, the pushing only aggravates the situation more and he whimpers his hip arching up a bit, and that was it.
Something in me snap and in no time I am back at the bed.
He looks up at me and scramble away quickly until his back hits the headboard of the bed, he moved so fast it was as if I was going to hit him or hurt him in some way, and along with my desperate hunger for him my anger also rises in full blaze,
“Cayan why are you running away from me? Stop playing around and come here” this comes out a lot harsher than I intended for, and he push further away and my heart squeeze in my chest in hurt,
“You think I will hurt you Cay?” disbelief is clear in my voice, something inside me feel like it had broke, he really believes I will hurt him, and it was confirm when he answer me,
“You hit me earlier you blasted caveman, so I am not going near you, and yes I am scared you will hurt me!!” he shouts at me, when he answer, I am cut so deep that I have to bite my lip so a gasp of pain could not slip out.
“Cay I just smack your ass I don’t think it hurt so much, it was just my hand, it was just a little sting, I have given you harder spanks than that before” this slips out of my mouth in a near growl as I try to control all the emotions that are threatening to swallow and choke me,
“I am not talking about the smack on my ass Roman and you know it, I am talking about now, if you would look at yourself in the mirror you will see what I am talking about, you are like a wild beast and I am not coming near you until you calm down” he says in his soft voice, but his eyes are deadly serious,
“But I want you Cay and you want me baby, I just want to hold you” I practically plead at him,
“Yes I want you Roman but the way you are right now is not good, if I let you near my ass you will rip me in two and not in the good pleasurable way” he counters still in the far corner of the bed,
“But you like it rough Cay, so why are you complaining now? You always scream out begging me for more, wiggling up your ass wanting me to pound inside your greedy hole” his eyes blaze at me and he is on his knees on the bed coming towards me,
“You bastard!! Just because I enjoy sex doesn't it give you the right to assume I will let you do whatever you want with me and my body Mr. Steele, if you think that you are sadly mistaken, I am leaving!” he is screaming at me now his body trembling,
No!! he can’t leave me,
I will never permit him to leave, anger and something else is taking over my body, I am beyond reason right now and I say something I should have never said in my whole life,
“I want you and I will have you Cayan and no one is going to stop me, not even you, all I have to do is touch you, and you will be begging like the little whore you are, so why are you fighting me?” I snicker at him as I pull his resisting body in my arms,
“Let me go Roman! Stop it! I don’t want you, no, no, stop it!” his screams falls on deaf ears, he is mine and I will show him he can never get away from me,
“You are not going anywhere, you are mine Cay, every inch of you is mine and you will know that after today” pulling him back I throw him on the bed and press him down with my body, my mind is blank I only want one thing and that is for him to submit, but he struggles more and more, pounding him fist on my shoulder.
“No! No! Stop it! Roman stop it!” his voice is vague in my ears, his nails are digging into my neck and back, I know I have to stop but if I let him go he will leave and I can’t let him I wont survive it.
“You are Mine! Mine! Mine!” I growl pressing my mouth to his bruising as I kiss his unyielding mouth, when I bite his lip hard he yelp and open his mouth and I take advantage ravishing his mouth and he struggle more under me, I slip between his legs and I feel his cock hard and swollen against my stomach.
Yet he still struggles, the more he struggle I press down onto him, I bite down hard on his shoulder and tasted blood burst into my mouth and even that did not clear my mind, I begin tearing at his clothes, ripping and pulling until he is naked under me, I lean down into his neck licking and biting drawing blood every time.
“Not like this Roman, baby please not like this” I hear his voice again far away, but its not stopping me, I continue to assault his body with my hands and mouth, I can feel my cock wanting to burst out of my pants, as I rub against his hard one but I don’t want to move my hands away from his body for not even a single second, he is not going anywhere.
I know in the back of my mind that I wont force myself inside his body, but I can’t stop myself from marking every single inch of his body, all I want is for him to say is that ‘he would never leave me.’
I am not stopping my assault on him, also I am talking to him but the words are just rushing out all are incoherent mumbles jumbles in my head, then I lift my head and look down into his beautiful face and I froze at what I see in his eyes.
His eyes are fill and overflowing with tears, they are sliding down his face silently.
But tears are not the only thing in his eyes, the expression in them is what holds me frozen unable to move, I can see a profound hurt shinning bright inside of them as he stare back up at me and its like a punch in my stomach.
Oh God, what have I done? This is what is going through my head over and over again.
His body had long stop struggling as if he had resign himself to what I was going to do, also he is listening to what I am saying, yet I still can’t hear myself from the roaring in my head, then after a moment he wrap his arms around me and just like that everything is clear and the words I am saying are loud and clear,
“Baby don’t leave me, I need you, don’t abandon me Cay, don’t leave me, don’t leave me, I am sorry, I did not mean to hurt you baby, I just did not want you to leave” my voice is rushing out of my mouth in a plea I am near begging, I shut my my mouth not saying anything more, but my fear of loosing him is ripping and peeling at my insides.
“And to get your point across you had to act like a complete uncivilized savage? Its true I call you a caveman but that does not mean you had to act like one” he says to me in a low voice, the hurt in his eyes is killing me, I have to move away from him I can’t take the look of utter hurt and betrayal staring back at me, I can’t say anything.
“Cay please just let me.............” he shakes his head violently from side to side pushing further up on the bed from my outstretch hand,
“Don’t touch me Roman, you have no rights to do so after what you just did” he whimpers, this is another hard blow to me, I would have never thought that he was ever going to whimper out of fear from me.
Before I did something stupid again like hug him at this moment when I know he does not want my touch I pull away from him, stepping back from the bed and his delectable naked body, looking away I strain my eyes outside at the snow that is steadily falling, my body is as cold as outside right now.
“Baby I wont touch you but please lets talk, don’t leave, let me fix this” desperation is routed in my voice, and for once in my life I feel an overwhelming fear eating at my very soul, he is quiet not saying a word.
He is going to leave me and there is nothing I would be able to do to stop him and my fear grows even more. I know he will leave especially after what I just did, remembering what just happen has me looking down at his body quickly, I stare down at his body and words have deserted me, I can’t even speak, my mouth refuses to move.
His beautiful body is covered.
Bites and bruises are all over his body, most of them bloody from where I broke the skin, his mouth is swollen and his bottom lip is burst at the near end, his neck and the rest of his body is bitten everywhere I look, he is covered in deep bloody bruising bites.
Oh God! What did I just do? How could I have done such a terrible thing?
How could I hurt the one person who is most important to me, all because of the fear of loosing him or letting him leave, he sits up looking up around the room, before he looks up at me for a moment something flash in his eyes but it was so quick that I missed it.
He is not saying anything, and his quietness terrifies me.
I knew my possessiveness monopolistic need for him is deep deeper than anything I have ever felt before, but never would I have thought it was going to reach the extend of me hurting him.
God!! Will he stay after what just happen? Will he ever trust me again? I am thinking fast trying to fix this situation before I loos him forever, because I know if I loos him I will surely not survive it, I hear rustling from the bed and I look up.
He is on his feet pulling at the sheets on the bed, its is quickly wrap around his body, all of this is done in the utmost silence, he walks over to the drawer pulling out some of his clothes that had been growing steadily after he had move in with me, after he has what he wants he pulls the clothes on without looking in my direction.
It hurts but I can’t blame him, I walk over to him, where he is looking into the mirror grimacing at all the bloody teeth marks on his neck and body, he stiffens when my body brush against his, but thankfully he did not run he continue getting dress as if I was not there, then he pull out a scarf wrapping it around his neck covering the bites and bruises.
“Cay baby I am so...............” these words were slipping out of my mouth when he interrupts me,
“Don’t say anything right now Roman, don’t even finish that sentence because I really don’t want to hear it, we both know that this is not going to be fix with a mere sorry, so save it” he says this softly gesturing his hands between us before he put them in his hair fixing his hair into the ponytail.
I stayed close to him not wanting to move, not wanting him to go.
“Cay baby please lets talk” I whisper wanting so badly to wrap my arms around him, but I know he is not going to allow me to touch him.
“Roman I don’t have time to talk, the girls will wake up from their nap soon and I want to be down stairs with their snacks ready” he says in a serious tune, he walks around me going towards the door, he is about to walk out when I grab his arm.
He flinch and jerk away sending an angry glare, it hurts so much to have him look at me this way but I have to take whatever he dishes out on me, I deserve it.
“I sorry baby, just hear me out for a bit ok, please let me apologize, I need to make it up to you” I say this walking over slowly to him, wanting to be near to feel his heat,
“You don’t need to make up for anything, what happened is done and there is nothing you say or do that can change it, you made it plain how you see me and what you want me for” he says this coldly but the is a slight quiver in his voice.
“Cay I know I can’t change what just happen, but believe me if I could I would, I will do everything to make you forget it, I should have never said and do what I just do, I just did not want you to leave” I am trying to be calm but my hearth and body are going a hundred miles an hour.
“You keep saying that you don’t want me to leave, but I never said I was leaving you Roman, so what give you that idea?” he yells his question at me trembling again in anger,
“You said you was leaving” I counter stepping a little closer to him,
“I never said I was going to leave you!! If anything I was going to leave the room until you had calm down, did you think I did not want you? Roman I wanted you just as badly as you wanted me, but I am so sore that you inside of me was going to be more pain than pleasure, I was a virgin when we had sex for the first time and we have not stop doing it from then, so of course I am sore” he said this looking away from me shyly,
“But enough about that I have other things to do so whatever you want to say will have to wait until later” he says this walking out further,
“Why can’t we talk now?” I ask scared that if he leaves the room it he will not want to talk to me later,
As he is about to open his mouth a screams of pain burst through the open door, his eyes widen and everything is forgotten as he begins is running as if hell hound is on his heals towards the stairs and I am right behind him jumping them two at the time.
We are at the bottom and the screaming has not stop only one of the girls can scream and cry like that and when they are screaming its because its something.
Before we burst into the girls play room I hear Caleb shouting at Logan,
“Logan call 911, hurry she is not moving, call them dammit” I run faster when I hear this and when I burst the entrance of their play room, I came up short my heart stopping.
The scene is not one a parent wants to walk into, Simone is on the floor a pool of blood around her head I rush in pushing the nervous Caleb aside, Samantha is covered in blood too as she shakes her sister repeatedly, she is the one screaming because Simone is not moving, I try to touch her, she pulls away screaming louder.
Pulling out my phone I dial the children Hospital I support financially, and the ambulance is already on the way, if Simone was awake I was going to take her, but she is not moving so I will wait for the professionals I can’t risk moving her.
“Simoon wak up, Simoon is me Samata, wak up Simoon!” she screams more my heart squeeze at her wretched cries for her sister, Cay is in moments after me and he is pulling Samantha into his arms, she goes to him without resisting, he is trying to maintain his cool, but I can see he is about to crack and I know its not only this situation.
“Yan yan Simoon no wak up” hiccup Samantha,
“She will wake up honey, the doctors are coming right now” he assures her his voice shaking, he rubs her back and Simone’s unmoving face not looking at me or moving, I can hear Caleb pulling on his inhaler his breathing short and Logan is talking on the phone but I am not interested in his conversation.
I have more important things to be worried about, like repairing my broken family.
And to do that I have to begin by gaining forgiveness from my little love.
Hey my babies I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, sending good prayers and vibe to Simone so she can get better quickly, also please don’t lynch and kill Roman just yet, he will be punish for his crime Mama Chocolate will see to it that he gets the right amount of pain for hurting my baby Mhwahahahahaha *cough, cough* Mhwahahahahaha.
So while I think of ways to do him evil please tell me what you think of the chapter.
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THE LUSCIOUS NANNY (ManxMan)
RomanceCayan James is a 21 year old boy all alone in the world, desperate for work, and is willing to do almost anything to make ends meet; Roman Steele is a world class business man and a self made Millionaire, he can handle anything and anyone that comes...
