Moonlight | Kim Taehyung

6: Taehyung

I don't know what to say to her. I don't know if I should comfort her. If I should embrace her or if I should give her some peace. I end up with the decision to not say anything. I just watch her. I observe her actions. She's staring at the lake and she's smiling. How can she manage to smile when she was crying just a few minutes ago? I wonder what she's thinking about right now?

I gaze at her rippling reflection on the lake. A single tear is sliding down her cheek. But, she's still smiling.

She laughs and quickly wipes away the tear. She's looking at me and giggling. I blink at her confusedly. How can her emotions change so suddenly? Even so, I know her emotions didn't change. I should know, because I've done the same as her. Hiding my true feelings. She's hurt. I can see it in her eyes. Her glassy, tear-filled eyes. She's holding back her tears, she's holding back her pain. The years of pain and suffering she's been through. I can see it all in those beautiful brown eyes of hers.

We're staring at each other. She's beaming and I'm studying her expression.

"Did you forget our promise?" She asks.

"What?" I'm slightly confused.

"Our promise," she repeats. "To move on from our pain."

"I didn't forget."

"Then why do you look so down?"

"Do you seriously expect me to be all smiles and sunshine right now? You do realise I just lost someone I love a few hours ago right?"

How could she expect me to smile so easily? Hanuel died today. How can I get over that fact so easily? I just can't. Luna can't possibly expect me to be laughing like how she is now. I turn away from her and sigh. I want to cry, but I don't have the energy to. I've run out of tears to cry. If that even is possible. I want to scream at her. To tell her that the pain in my heart won't just heal and vanish so quickly. My heart is throbbing. My head is aching. I'm frustrated at her. Envious that she's smiling and that she can hide her emotions so easily.

Now it's her turn to comfort me. She places her hand on my shoulder. She's patting it gently, just like how she was stroking that wild rabbit.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you even more," she says timidly.

I shrug off her hand, "I'm fine."

"If you're fine, then I'll leave," she says and stands up.

I look up at her. I've upset her and she's annoyed by me. We're annoyed with each other. I guess broken people get irritated easily.

"You can stay," I say.

"I have to get going anyways, so I'll let you be," she says. "Don't want my sister to worry about me."

She's walking away from me and I stop her, "Luna, wait!"

She turns around with eyebrows raised, "Yeah?"

"Will we be able to see each other again?" I ask.

To be honest, I do want to see her again. We're both in similar positions and we've spilt our guts out to each other. I want to be friends with her. I want to be able to talk to her again. Talking to her feels so carefree and easy.

"I don't know," she shrugs nonchalantly. "Why not let fate decide for us. If we're bound to see each other again, then we will."

And with that, she walks away. Disappearing into the dark with her shadow trailing behind her. I'm left all alone. I suddenly feel empty. It's silent and I don't like it. I close my eyes and lay down on the grass. It tickles my ears as I let myself relax and spread out my limbs, like a starfish.

I was supposed to come here with Hanuel. To lay on the ground and gaze at stars with her. To laugh with her and talk to her about absolutely anything we wanted to. To be free. But, that won't ever happen, now that she's gone. So what's the point of thinking about it.

Tears are running down my face. I miss her laughter. I miss her. I wish to hear the sweet melody of her giggling again. Why did she have to be taken away from me so early? Why?

---

I don't know how I manage to get back home in one piece. But, it's 3AM and I'm here. I was hoping to come home to the feeling of warmth, but it's cold and empty. I live alone, so what's the difference between being in the park and being here? I moved out of my parent's place two years ago and there's nobody here to comfort me. At least in the park, there were animals around me.

I suddenly remember that there's beer in the fridge. So I grab a few bottles and plop down on the sofa. I don't bother to get cups and just drink right out from the bottle. Gulping down the cool beer, I don't think about anything. I lay back on the sofa and close my eyes. I don't know how many bottles of drank, I don't bother to count.

I let myself drink as much as I want to, until I pass out. Let myself cry as much as I need to. I let my tears pour.

I know I'm drunk when my head starts spinning and I'm getting sweaty. I soon pass out, laying on the sofa.

---

I wake up to the sun shining on my face. I check the clock on the wall and it displays that it's two in the afternoon. My head is hammering and I have the urge to vomit. What happened? I groan and squint my eyes as I sit up groggily. I stand up and see six empty beer bottle s scattered on the ground. I look down and see that my clothes are stained red. I momentarily forget why. At that instant, the memory of what happened yesterday comes back to me and I sigh. Why am I being so reckless? Hanuel won't like that.

I wonder if Luna got home safely last night? But, I shouldn't be concerned about her when I can't even look after myself. I might not even see her again.

My phone begins to ring, so I pull it out from my pocket and answer, "Hello?"

"Is this Mr Kim Taehyung speaking?"

"Yes, that's me."

"This is Chief Lee Chan-woo from the police department. We have information on the car accident involving Miss Choi Hanuel yesterday afternoon. If you can make the time to come to the police station, I can give you more details."

I hesitate. Did they find the driver already? My heart is racing and I'm suddenly getting impatient. I clench my fists as my breathing quickens. I have to find out who took away my girlfriend's life, so of course I agree to meet the chief. I'm going to murder whoever killed Haneul. My Hanuel. Yet, no matter how much I want to make the driver's life a living hell, I can't. Hanuel won't want me to.

I immediately head to the bathroom and wash-up. I take a nice warm shower and scrub of the blood from my arms. I put on a fresh set of clothing and dump my blood-stained clothes into the washing machine.

As soon as I'm all ready, I hurriedly head outside and hail a cab to get to the police station.