Moonlight | Kim Taehyung

43: Luna

With our hands intertwined, Taehyung and I walk back to my place. We keep silent the whole time, neither of us daring to break the silence.  But I enjoy it; I feel relaxed with the wind in my hair and the sound of rustling leaves as we walk. The houses we pass by are decorated with vibrant Christmas lights and other festive decorations.

Today, was the first time for both of us to celebrate Christmas with our family in years. My heart felt so warm when we gathered under the Christmas tree and opened up gifts together. I felt as if I belonged; it wasn't awkward and I didn't feel forced to be with my mum and sisters. It felt natural and I was happy. I'm so glad that I could celebrate Christmas with the people I love this year. Well, the only person missing would be my dad; it's just wishful thinking to hope for him to be back, so our family will be whole again. He's probably out mingling with some young women right now. I wonder if he's ever thought about us? Or if he misses us? Because I sure do miss him, I miss the kind and loving dad that I had as a little girl, but not the dad that would come home drunk and fight with mum and neglect me.

---

Spending Christmas in Seoul with my grandparents was always a nice and joyful time of the year.

Running around in the snow outside with my dad and Mina as we throw snowballs at each other, I'm having so much fun on this Christmas Day. Mum is at home, sitting on the sofa by the fireplace with little Rae-na in her arms, and my grandparents sitting beside her with cups of hot chocolate in their hands.

Even though I'm bundled up in a cosy sweater and jacket, as well as a woolly hat, scarf and mittens, I still feel the cold as snowballs hit me. I'm shrieking as I hide behind a tree before I can get attacked by another snowball. But my dad is too quick for me as he aims at me and the snowball hits me in the stomach. He laughs and I quickly throw a snowball back at him, then Mina comes running towards him and throws a giant snowball at him too. I chuckle and yelp as we continue throwing snowballs at each other.

---

We eventually arrive back at my home and as we step inside, we hear lots of laughter. My mum and Taehyung's parents are at the dining table cheerfully chattering with each other, whilst Mina and Rae-na are in the living room playing a board game.

Taehyung and I make our way to my room to not disturb our parents bonding with one another.

"I would have never thought my mum could potentially be friends with your parents," I admit.

"Well, I can tell your mum is trying her hardest to be a better parent," Taehyung says as we sit on my bed.

I nod and say, "I guess I can kind of tell as well. My relationship with her has grown stronger too. It's nice to have a loving mum back, dad is the only missing piece for our family to be whole."

"You should follow your own advice, Luna," Taehyung squeezes my hand and replies. "You tell me to move on from Haneul, so you should move on from your dad too. Stop holding onto the past and stop holding onto the old him."

"I'm trying..." I sigh. "It's just so hard and now that it's Christmas, I'm getting kind of sentimental and the memories just come back to me."

"I just can't help but wonder if he ever thought about us? If he even misses us... or has he forgotten about us already?" I continue to say as tears brim in my eyes. "I wonder if he has found another wife and if they are planning to have children of their own, and start a new family?"

"Shh... Luna..." Taehyung soothes as I rest my head on his shoulder. "Let's not think about that alright? I bet your dad hasn't forgotten about you or your sisters or your mum. And maybe at some points, he even misses you guys, you never know."