Everything I Didn't Say | M.C

SEVEN

I start to feel the rush on my nerves seeing my phone ringing and it’s Luke who’s calling. Hopefully we will see each other and have the talkthat I’ve been waiting since we saw each other. I stand up quickly and answer my phone.

“Hey.” I softly said over the phone.

“Hi, so, umm.. Let’s meet at the- wait where do you want to talk? You pick the place.” Luke replies with a raspy voice.

“How about Green Park? You okay?” I said and asked him out of curiosity.

“Sounds good meet you there tomorrow at nine in the morning, yeah I am. I was just tired.” He said.

“Alright, see you tomorrow then.”

“Bye.”

“Bye Luke.” Then I hanged up.

Having thoughts in my mind and remembering what Jen told me before that Luke’s dad wants him to take engineering so probably he did. He quite change as I can see he had facial hair and much more physically fit. The last time I saw him he was depressed and bothered and right now he’s all good like nothing happened, it make realize maybe moving on was a great deal. It changes him and makes him more matured and he was like really independent to himself. Can I even cope that? Probably not. I’m a wimp and stupid. Change is a big word for me right now I’m not even sure if I’m all well I was just hiding everything, I’m still not focused about everything.

This is just one simple thing to deal with and I know I just make everything hard for me and really uneasy because I’m a coward. I do love Michael he’s my everything from the part I’ve know something is going to ruin us all I do is to think about myself. I was being selfish, I do want the best for him but I was focused on what people will say to us, will look on us. Afraid, yes that what’s eating me all the time maybe Michael didn’t argue with this because it wasn’t worth it after all. He probably understands me at that time because he was the son of Marco. I thought that’s really the end of it but it’s a lot more worst when I found out the other truth which makes me sink, it’s like the hell grabbing me down. Clearly my feelings is ripped in two.. Fight for Michael as possible as it could be or Give it up.

I grab my photocopy of our lesson for the next meeting and sat on my bed and my back resting on the corner, I plug my headphones on my ear listening to Secret by One Republic. Reviewing few of the pointers just to make me step aside my problems about Michael, then the door opens widely and Jans came in she looks so pleasing and happy she must have some good news to herself.

“Happy because?” I asked and remove the headphones on my ears.

“Well I think we’re getting more serious and I’m really in for it.” She said.

“What do you mean by that?”

“You know ‘the guy I’m dating’” She air quoted while she giggled.

“Oh, what his name by the way? You haven’t told me.”

 “It’s Lu-“ She cut off by the ring of her phone.

“Lou?”

“I’ll be back it’s him.” She quickly grabs her purse and get out of our room really fast.

Being all alone again I wasn’t in the mood to listen to music and read my pointers. I’m thinking about tomorrow, what will Luke said to me maybe Michael doesn’t want me anymore, maybe he already move on that’s why Luke wants to talk to me seriously because I might get upset and be more depressed, well I am, sort of. I’m moving on from depression. So many thoughts again and again I can’t take this. I have to let this out. I went to the bathroom and change my clothes to sweat pants and just plain white tee with the university’s initial BU, I wear my white vans and snuck my phone on my pocket and went out for a little while.