honesty: seeing yourself without a mirror in front of your eyes. realising that there is nothing to realise. surrendering. letting go. blurring lines and boundaries that are only in the mind. feeling everything, the pain, the beauty, the vastness of life. the blooming and the wilting. raw light. aligning yourself with the fundamental nature of existence. the significance of insignificance. an unsought quest for those who are lost.
honesty is not always about revealing all your bleeding secrets or letting every thought slip past your lips unfiltered. nor is it forcing yourself every time to speak the truth. it is not always heavy poetry and making a reason for everything. we are intelligent beings who find complications in the simplest of things, because we are trying to understand something that does not need understanding. we are fighting internal wars in which you neither win nor lose. we hang clocks on walls and wear watches on our wrists but still do not know to live in the present. we judge, we blame. the universe is deaf to our voices but still we run our vocal cords weak. trees give us oxygen and we kill them one by one. we seek, we chase. constantly plagued by deeply rooted insecurities and the need to justify and organise everything. contradictions upon contradictions; the lies are more truthful than the carefully spun words in your diary.
the things we ask ourselves: why are we alive. who created the universe. what is our purpose, what happens after death. how can i be happy. who am i. what is the reason behind every molecular thing. and how do i live my life. why are we so determined to find answers to questions that hold no answer, for there is no right and wrong to choose between. we try too hard to find ourselves and we forget how to be.
2.6.18
