he works as a janitor at a small high school located just out of town.
his back aches and hands are rough from scrubbing too many windows. five days a week, he mends clocks and cleans the floor and shuffles past noisy teenagers in his blue work clothes. he likes his coffee black, he doesn't own a car, he has no children.
one late afternoon, he remains at school a little longer than usual. the caretaker wipes sticky orange juice from a cafeteria table, cleans the boys' toilet on the third floor, locks the doors as he goes. a teacher passes, and they exchange a hello. he walks in blue shadow, through the hallway; his echoing footsteps interrupt the deep, broad silence settled over the building. the keys attached to his belt jingle softly; somewhere, a clock ticks. he wipes his brow, locks a door as he passes through the threshold - he can almost hear the twittering of birds outside, almost smell the summer air sweet with nectar, and he picks up his pace, yearning to go out in the late afternoon sun. the school janitor has almost reached the vestibule when he hears a soft murmur of music.
the keys on his belt stop tinkling. he has turned around, his ears like antennas trying to catch something other than static. was it his imagination? no- there it is again: a simple strand of melody coiling in the quietness. suddenly the darkness around him seems to glow with the music, tender and nostalgic, rolling through the air toward him like golden ocean waves. the soft hum of the air ventilation system above his head sounds, to him, like a roar. the piano chords rise and fall, bobbing peacefully on a water's surface, or like a candlelight in the dark, leading him through the corridor and through another door and down a flight of spiraling stairs; the music is louder and fuller in his ears on the second floor.
in front of him is the music room, where untuned guitars hang from the walls and posters of rock bands are plastered on every available vertical space. golden sunlight seeps out between the crack between the door and the floor, washing the toe of his boots. he had thought everyone had left the school building by now, but he can clearly hear someone playing the piano behind the closed door. the sequence of the chords, and the dreamlike quality; he realises with a jolt that he recognises this piece. in his mind flit memories of wet winters, pink cheeks, the musty scent of old books.
clair de lune. how could he have forgotten? something inside him shifts, yawns. time seems to swell, extend to infinity. the trickle of sweet notes has expanded to become a flowing river, an arabesque of melodies. the panel of wood through which the song escapes dissolves, and he finds himself looking up at the night sky, a vast canopy of navy blue freckled with stars. moonlight sifts through the clouds, the wind whispers.
in the tendrils of music weaving into the tendons of his heart he hears her laughter, like pearls in the wind, surfacing from a memory buried decades ago. the girl whose hands were shy, gentle; she loved music, she used to dance to it in her stockings in the living room. did she play an instrument? he cannot remember. he imagines the person behind the closed door sitting by the rickety old piano, fingers dancing on the yellowed keys, music turning to liquid beneath their touch, golden light cascading into the room and driving the shadows into corners. a void opens up in his chest and gapes painfully.
a student practicing after school? or a musician who has travelled from the future, here to remind a man of the beauty left in this world; beads of moisture have gathered in the rims of his eyes, and he closes them, hands hanging loose by his sides, listening. he remembers now. with the chords follow memories, rushing by like birds. people he loved. moments like wildflowers. running rivers and forests and warm hands and happiness.
her voice, full of youth. do you promise to always remember me?
i promise.
inside his ribcage, his aged heart continues to beat.
10.7.17
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the video link i put above is of seong-jin cho, playing claude debussy's clair de lune :)
