Chapter Eighteen: In Tutela Numen...

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Friday rolled around fast, I stayed to myself during the past twenty-five hours; read books, cooked, listened to music and even cleaned. I even tried to reach for my magic, but all I got was an upset stomach and a headache. Not once did I try to reach Lucas or Francis, not once did they reach me. Not that I blame them, they have their own lives and so do I, which is now full of confusion and stress.

Starting my Friday at a late time, I decided to push myself to be more sane and normal. I took the journey to the community center, I told myself I would show up for group grief counseling, but I couldn't help myself. Like Sammy said, they were having a small party. Horrible music played in the background, people in small groups talking and laughing while eating cookies and drinking a tiny cup of juice.

"I knew you'll come." Sammy spotted me almost immediately. I would say she's a jolly middle age woman that loves hugs and gossip, her cheeks were red for smiling too much and hair pulled into a ponytail to reveal her face. She smelt of salt water, her life of living on her boat after her daughter died was quite dull and miserable, but she still kept a smile upon her face.

"I can't stay long." I mumbled while holding dear life to my bag. Oddly, being around normal people only made me feel nervous. Usually back in North Carolina I would stick to myself, have a hand full of friends that knew nothing about the real me and my real life. Perhaps I'm scared that everyone in this room will find out, maybe that's my true problem in socializing.

"No worries, I would have to leave myself soon. I would like you to meet someone, come on." She nudged me to two men, one I knew as Rodrick, the teenager around my little cousin's age. There's another, a new face amongst this land, a man that looks no older than me but not as young. He smiled bright, considering where he is, his tan cheeks were dark red, eyes practically hazel, and hair touched his shoulders. Clean, shaven, quite impossible to detect if he lost someone. "Jupiter, this is our new member, Antonio."

Antonio, a Brazilian gentleman that still held his strong accent. "Please to meet you, Jupiter." He extended his hand, in which I immediately took in a quick shake.

"Likewise."

"Jupiter is new as well, just came in Tuesday, actually." Rodrick added on, cheerful of himself to be socializing.

"Really? I should of been here Tuesday, but I was quite busy with work. But I was here Friday, so." He shrugged his shoulders, his bright smile became brighter as his eyes scanned me slowly. Was he checking me out?... Am I actually enjoying this?...

"I'm going to get a cookie." I announced before breaking free from his flirtatious gaze. Grabbing a line oatmeal cookie with a napkin, I started to munch on it while taking slow steps to the door.

"Not make an escape are you?" Antonio caught me, not letting up with his charming smile and hazel eyes.

"Would that be wrong?" I have a guilty smile, one that barely lifted from a frown but you can see the sincerity in my eyes.

"No, not at all. In fact, I gotta go as well. They mean well, but they're boring as hell. Since I wasn't here last time, I should properly introduce myself. I came here about a month ago after my wife past away from ovarian cancer just a eight months prior. I went to find joy in drinking for the first two months, then became a friend to heroin for a month or so, spent time in rehab for four months, and now I'm here; sober for five months and attending grief counseling for one. How about you?"

"Wow, who can top that." I teased, even though my small joke didn't get a laugh. I cleared my throat to push the embarrassment away. "My mother was murdered 61 days ago, I found her body, moved here for family, and a friend recommended this group for me."

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