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May 8, 2017. ; 4:56am
I was now laying in bed not being able to sleep still. This entire night and since the day I saw Ale I really haven't been sleeping.
I was now gonna turn to look out a window but I then remembered we don't even have one. I felt so sad and my heart feel heavy and my body ached from all this emotionally drained times.
I haven't called Ale for about six days! Last I talk to him was like Wednesday and it was Monday now.
I felt like crying today more than the other days.
After a while I got my towel and hung it in front of me so I can have a bit of privacy to pee.
I then saw I started my period and freaked out because how do you even get pads here?!!
I then wrapped the towel around me and decided to ask Guapa for help.
"Hmm" she groans wiping here eyes.
"How do you eh get pads" I ask feeling my face completely warm up.
"I got some on that box go ahead" she mumbles and I thank her and quickly change into one. Maybe that's why I been so sad? Phew I thought I was going hella soft.
I didn't want to think I was being a pussy for no reason.
I knew it was near time to wake up so I didn't even bother resting. I just laid in silence well not complete silence a little bit of screaming of the newbies not wanting to be here.
Soon I hear the officer instructing us to wake up and Guapa was up soon right after. I fixed my bunk real quick and got my slides.
Your not an animal you don'tdeserve to be here
I sighed walking out as soon as they ring our doors open. Guapa was now beside me yawning as we went to our usual spot with the other girls.
I felt myself going insane.
February 10, 2018
"Daniella Lupe get ready your lawyer would like to speak to you" an officer came up to me while I was speaking to my home girls
"It's fine I don't wanna go I accepted this is my home" I smiled at Boogie side hugging her
The officer than walked away and I rolled my eyes causing the girls to laugh.
"Yo I can't believe ever since Guapa got out in January she ain't even call" Flaca complained
"On some real shit" I laughed and my face grows serious seeing Jackie come up to us
"Got some of that good good" she smirked sitting beside us
"Fuck outta here your a fucking snitch" Loca said getting up making me give her a look to get down
"Fine fine " Jackie sighed putting her hand up in defense
"Loca you needa chill you just gonna extend your sentence" I said and she sighs remembering her daughter waiting for her back at home
"Ms. Lupe I asked for you" I than turned to see my lawyer
"I know"
"If you weren't so stubborn you would of been ready by now anyway so our trial from last week and some test runs came back and you were found not guilty, your out" he yelled and the girls cheered for me but for me it seemed like every thing went down hill
Nothing was out there for me.
Michy and my mom left me and I pushed Alejandro away.
What was I gonna do ?
I said my goodbyes and was given the clothes I had on the day I was arrested . While putting my clothes on I saw the three dots on my hand out in display for everyone to see. This place for sure ruined me and changed me, not for the better.
The gate was now opened and I walked out wondering where do I go? Only thing I had was the streets really, I don't even have a phone. I then walked toward the pay phone and look down at the number I asked for at the counter.
"Hello"
"Guapa it's Dani, I'm out" I say waiting for a response
"Really, how, when" she yelled
"Just now I know this is to much to ask-"
"I'll be there as fast as I can" she answered and the line went dead.
Guapa lost contact with the other girls but I lied, she still called me from time to time. She just wanted to better herself, when our group of friends were no longer just friends she disliked it deep down and always let me know. What I meant no longer friends was we got even more gang affiliated.
I then sat near a bench and looked around seeing the outside, I haven't seen this for over a year! I usually was always in lock down so I didn't see the light much.
I then looked down at Geesy number and sighed walking toward the phone. Maybe he still had the same number from last year?
The phone was dialing but no one answered making me sigh, "dammit"
"Excuse me" i then nearly loose my breath hearing his voice
"Oh hey I yeah urm it's Daniella" I stuttered
The line stayed quiet and I sighed, "Ale I'm so sorry I shut you out I just-"
"Are you out" he asked
"Ye- yeah" I huffed feeling a sudden regret in calling him
"Oh" the line was silent after that and I felt a pang in my chest.
He was the only person I had in mind all the time but I shut him out completely. I knew he most likely was hurt over it. I changed a lot would he still like me ?
"I've missed you a ton"
"Look I gotta go but hit my line soon aight" he said and he hung up making me shut my eyes tight, I messed up bad
