Hell To Pay

Tear Me Down (Let It Die)

"Taylor! Taylor!" They're in the middle of the show when one of the crew call him out.

"What's wrong?"
"There is a call. From Chad Smith. You want me to pick it up?"
"No, I'll get it." He stands up and let Dave talking to the audience. Giving him times to take the call.

Just as he get the call, he can hear an unusual tone from Chad's voice. "Yeah Chad?"
"Sam couldn't wake up this morning. I just got the call from Josh. I just want to let you know."
"What? What do you mean couldn't wake up?"
"I don't know either. Josh only told me that they bring her to hospital right now..... It really scares me."
"Hey, Chad, listen to me. Your sister will be okay. You have to believe that. Now tell me where did they bring her? I will go there right after the show."
"I'll text you."
"Okay."

After he hung up, his legs gone weak. Doesn't matter what he said to Chad, he's in fact scared about it as well. It's like all the bad thoughts coming in. "What are you doing Sam?" He says to himself, thinking that she might be overdosed, considering the circumstances. He knew something would happen, but he's not ready to hear such a news.

"Hey Hawkins! What took you so long?" Dave burst in, wondering what Taylor is doing in there. But right when he see his face, he knows something is wrong. "What's wrong Taylor?"
"Sam... She didn't wake up this morning. I think I know why. Umm... I found out weeks ago that she was in drugs and got a bad reaction.."
"I'm listening.."
"I discovered bags of drugs on her belongings. I was angry.... Like extremely mad to her. And it slips on my mouth saying that I still care. Then I decided not to be involved with her again because I know I'm not ready for something like this."
"But... Did she made it? I mean, I didn't mean to say she's...."
"Still don't know. Chad only told me they bring her to hospital and still got no good news."
"You think it has something to do with the drug?"
"Honestly, yes. Now I feel bad for keep the truth away from Chad. I should've told him."
"You know you can go now if you need to see her condition. We can finish the show playing acoustic." Dave told him to take his time and leave the show earlier. "You guys okay?"
"We will, no need to be worry about us. Go see her. We'll catch up after the show."
"Thanks a lot Dave." He goes to hug him and doesn't realize tears running down his cheeks. "I know... I know... You still care a lot about her. Just let it out." Dave gives him a comfort that only can be found in a best friend, and Taylor thanked him for that. "I hope she will make it." There's a tiny hope on Taylor's mind as Dave said that to his ears. "I'll keep you guys updated." He let go the hug and then put his clothes on before leaving the show.

••••••

"Taylor..." Chad quickly stands up soon as he see Taylor walking down the corridor. "How's she?"
"I can't say she's good but.... Doctor says they were able to save her."
"That's good to hear...."
"But now in coma." His heart skips a beat when he hear how painful can be heard from Chad's voice. Then he notices Josh is also presence just 6 meters away with tears on his eyes, inside that room. He's holding her hand and it seems like he loses all the words and keep looking at her face. Waiting for Sam to open her eyes.

"Is he...."
"Yeah. He's been crying all day. I can't even ask him to eat or anything. It's really painful to see Sam in a state like this. Especially when doctor told me she might be passed away from that amount of dose." Taylor is kind of nervous to hear that and his guilt built up.

"Chad..... I'm... I'm sorry not tell you earlier. You know when she was at my house after the bike incident..."
"No... I already know she was using before that specific day. I just didn't expect that she would take a big dose last night. You have nothing to be sorry about."
"You know?"
"Yeah. For the last 3 months. I tried to make a talk to her about it but I didn't get the chance. That's my fault."

Chad seems like rub the edge of his eyes, trying so hard to looked strong. "Anyway, I know it would be awkward for you and Josh.. but he insisted to bring you here. He said that she needs all the help that she had. Like from me, him, her friends and also you. So, I beg you to stay a couple days. Maybe try to talk to her. Who knows maybe she can hear us."
"I'm gonna try anything that I can di for her Chad. I promise."
"Thanks. I really appreciate it." Chad and Taylor have a hug before Chad going downstairs to take care all of the administrations.

Now Taylor looks into the room where Sam is laying on the bed, tube going into her nostril and her face is really pale. The picture of her sassy attitude and uplifting voice is playing in his head as he see her weak body. It's indeed painful and he gets why Josh is so sad about it.

While he almost lost in his mind, he doesn't realize that Josh is coming out from the room. "Oh, sorry. I didn't see you."
"I know... Thanks for the visit, Taylor. I'm sure she'll happy to see you. I'm gonna get some water, you can go inside and maybe....have a talk with her." Josh quickly leaves the place, giving Taylor the time for himself.

He open the door carefully, take a seat and hold her hands. He doesn't know how to start this so he just did what Josh did as well. She indeed got no strength judging from how lifeless her hand is. Taylor feels like she's responding to his touch but he can't tell if that's true or just his imagination.

"Hey Sam.... How's your day going? Can you hear me?" He tries to smile even though he knows she will not able to see it. "I haven't eat anything for the last 12 hours, but that's fine. I'll get some sandwiches outside the hospital. No need to worry about me....." His emotions take a turn in the middle of his sentence. He gets emotional and his voice is start to crack. ".....umm... I was on a concert. And Chad called me. You....umm... You scared me. A lot.... Please don't do that to me." He just realized there's a tattoo just below her left arm that he never seen before. It seems like not a fresh one but definitely made after they split up. It's a symbol that's quite familiar for him and suddenly remember the talk that they got at the first month they were dating.

•Flashback•

"What is that?"
"A symbol..." Sam roughly sketch on a piece of tissue and let Taylor watching. "What symbol?"
"I don't know, to be honest. But I remember seeing this symbol before I was adopted. I always think of this symbol everytime I tried to remember my old painful memories. Like my childhood or other things."
"Like a trigger?"
"Yup. It's like, if I someday forget about this symbol.. it would be when I already on my death bed."
"Why?"
"Because it would be the end. And I think nothing else matters about my past anymore."

•Back to presence•

"I see the symbol, Sam. That means this is not the end for you. Right? You said that yourself. If you're on your death bed, you'll forget the symbol." He takes her hand and hold it tightly.

"You got to keep your words."