[ Black Butler One Shots ]

Hannah x Reader || Hanahaki Disease

Definition:
"The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals."
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⚠️ Warning! SAD! ⚠️
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Info:
-you're around the same age as Hannah
-still in the BB universe
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Your POV
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I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves.

I know I'll regret this, but she deserves to know how I feel about her. I can't hide it anymore.

If I do, I'll always be wondering if she ever felt the same for me. Wasting so much of my time thinking about her when she never truly felt the same.

I don't want that. I just want to get it out there. So she knows.

I knock on her bedroom door and dart my gaze around nervously as it opens.

"YN, hello. Come in," Hannah says stoically, and I enter without a word as I try to gather my thoughts.

As she closed the door behind me, she asks, "Did you need something?"

Inhaling a shaky breath, I nod and slowly turn around to face her. I meet her eyes and say with confidence, "Yes. I need to tell you something."

Hannah raises an eyebrow, "What is it that you need to tell me?"

"I-I love you, Hannah. As more than friends. It's completely fine if you don't feel the same. I just th-thought you should know," I confess, glancing away for a moment.

When I meet her eye again, I know that she doesn't feel the same for me. There's a hint of sadness and awkwardness, and I know she'll try to let me down easy.

My heart shatters, but I put on a broken smile as she replies.

"I'm- I'm sorry, YN, but I like you just as friends. I'm glad you told me, and I hope we can stay friends," she says softly.

I nod and hold back my tears, hoping she doesn't notice my glossy eyes as I answer, trying to keep my voice steady, "It's okay. Thank you for telling me the truth. I appreciate your honesty. Now if you'll excuse me."

I walk past her and open the door, leaving it ajar behind me on accident. My mind is too preoccupied to even think about shutting her door.

When I make it far enough, I let the tears fall. Yet I don't make a sound until I reach my own room, secluded from the others. I lock the door and fall to my knees, sobbing as quietly as I can. I don't want anyone to hear me if they're passing by.

I suddenly begin to feel a sharp pain in my chest, and I start having the urge to cough. I do so, only to have a major coughing fit. When I'm done, I remove my hands from my mouth and see lilac purple flower petals and some of my blood.

My eyes widen as I rush into the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror briefly. I open my mouth as wide as I can manage and gasp as I see a purple flower bud on the back of my throat, matching the petals in my hands.

I shut my mouth and squeeze my eyes closed, realizing the truth of the matter.

I have Hanahaki Disease.

The petals and the flower bud match Hannah's hair and favorite color, which I know means that I have it because of her rejection.

One-sided love.

I reopen my eyes and throw the petals into the toilet before flushing it and washing my hands free of the blood. My sink goes from crystal white to deep red in seconds, then fades back to white as the blood goes down the drain.

I cannot let anybody know about this.

I don't want to worry anyone.

•••

I smile weakly at Bard as he asks if I'm okay. He's one of the only people who realizes my state after all these days. Well, he actually is the only one noticing.

I'm thankful for that.

He found out about my disease on the second day I had it, after I had coughed in front of him without even thinking about hiding myself. I made him promise me to not tell anyone.

So far, he's kept his word.

"Yeah, I-I'm fine—" I cut myself off as I feel the urge to cough, so I rush into the nearest bathroom as I begin to roughly cough.

Bard hurriedly follows me and panics as I cough up more petals and blood.

"Damnit, Hannah," he mutters as he pats my back, then realizes that my coughing isn't going away like it usually does.

The pain grows stronger, and I can hardly bare it. I lean over the sink as I cough, trying to block the view with my hands so Bard won't see. Blood drips from the side of my mouth as I finally finish my coughing spree.

I straighten up, only to stumble backwards and fall against the wall. Bard catches my arm as I collapse to the floor, trying to soften my blow. He yells out to everyone in the manor, to anybody who will listen, for help.

I'm too far gone.

Nobody can help me now.

My vision fades to black, and the only thing I can hear are the cries from the servants and my master. The voice most prominent is Hannah's, realizing this was all her fault.

Even though it wasn't.

She can't choose who she loves, and neither can I.

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-CastrarWolf