I was aimlessly scrolling through my Instagram feed as my break came towards an end. I stopped when I saw the face of the man I was missing so much.
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postmalone First week of the Europe tour was a success!
I double tapped Austin's Instagram photo before locking my phone and shoving it back into my scrub pocket. I had picked up a few extra shifts for the past week to keep myself busy and keep my mind off being away from Austin.
I loved being at work and doing what I was passionate about, even though this very job was the one thing that stood between me and my relationship.
I hadn't heard from Austin in a few days but I knew he was extremely caught up and his manager did alot of his social media posting for him.
I wondered when and if he would grow tired of the phone calls, facetimes, and text messages that essentially held our relationship in place.
I walked back up from the cafeteria to my unit and told the nurse that was covering for me that I was finished with my break.
I checked on each of my patients, administered my meds, and prepared one of my patients for surgery and transfer to the operating room.
I rolled my eyes as I had forgotten to pee on my break. I quickly ran to the bathroom only to discover I had gotten my period. I groaned as I wasn't expecting it for another few weeks.
After I left the bathroom, I plopped myself at the nurses station and began my charting as my manager approached me.
"Hey Amy I have 2 new admissions for you." "Oh and Laura called out so you're gonna be short for the remainder of your shift."
Great.
This was going to be a long day.
*****
"Just go on tour with him Ams that's what I would do!" Michelle looked at me in disbelif as she opened a bottle of wine in my kitchen.
I told her everything I overheard Austin saying over the phone the last time I saw him.
"You know I can't do that Michelle. If I took that much time off I would get fired."
"So? You're a great nurse, you'll find another job somewhere else." "Besides, you're dating a rich person, you don't even need a job!"
I rolled my eyes. "Michelle I'm not gonna quit my job because he has money! And what happens when he has to go on tour again?" "This is the never ending cycle of his lifestyle, things will never be normal."
"Amy have you talked to him about this?" "About where this relationship is going?"
"Kinda. I mean he acts like he always wants me around but we haven't really discussed it." "I just hate that he's always gone and I feel like I'm not even his real girlfriend." I felt tears forming in my eyes.
"When we are together, everything is perfect. He makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the world and I couldn't be any happier. But then he leaves and I'm all alone."
"You have to talk to him sweetie. You guys have to figure out how you are going to make this work. You're my best friend I don't want you to get hurt."
"I know. I think I'll wait until I visit him in Europe so we can talk about it in person." I sighed. "He asked me about taking our relationship public."
"Oh shit seriously? What did you say?" Michelle questioned.
"I told him I wasn't ready. How can we take this public if I'm never with him?" "I didn't realize what I was getting myself into."
"Look, just relax and see what happens when you visit him." "But he clearly sounds like he's fallen for you."
"You think so?"
"Girl he pretty much worships the ground you walk on." "Any mention of the L word yet?"
I glanced up at her as I felt myself getting red. "No it's way too soon for that Michelle."
"Oh my God Amy you love him! I can see it all over your fucking face!" Michelle exclaimed.
"I don't shut up." I quickly snapped at her.
"Are you seriously going to lie to me right now?" "Look I know you are trying to protect yourself from getting hurt but Austin is obviously the person you're suppose to be with."
"Oh really? Then why is everything so damn difficult?" I groaned.
"No one said love was easy." Michelle responded.
"I don't love-" I couldn't even finish my sentence. Because it would just be a lie if I said it out loud.
I was hopelessly head-over-heels in love with Austin Post.
I felt my heart flutter as I saw his name appear on my phone.
Austin: Babygirl I'm so sorry I didn't get a chance to text you. Been super busy and didn't have my phone on me. I miss you like always. Counting the days until you're here."
I smiled at my phone as I texted him back.
I had less than a month before I left to visit him in Europe.
As excited as I was to see him again, my heart pounded everytime I tried to think of a way to discuss our future together. I couldn't keep avoiding it forever.
