Tell Me That It's All Okay / Post Malone

Chapter 14

Austin POV

"Thank you so fucking much Manchester! I appreciate every single one of you for coming out here tonight and having a good fucking time with me!" I shouted as I waved to the huge crowd below me before walking off the stage.

I went straight into my dressing room and changed my clothes as I heard a knock.

"You killed it once again man!" Dre exclaimed as he pulled me in for a hug once I opened the door.

"Thanks Dre. The crowd was fucking wild tonight." I replied as I took a towel to wipe the sweat off of my face.

"So uh how are you feeling? Are you doing okay? With how intense your performance was, I'm guessing you didn't hear back from her?" Dre looked at me with sympathy as he patted my back.

I shook my head at him and looked at the ground, not wanting to talk about her.

"I'm sorry bro I didn't mean to bring it up."

"Its okay don't worry about it. How about we get going so we can hit the after party?" I said changing the subject.

He nodded towards me as he led me towards my security guards to escort us to the limo.

As I walked outside to the venue, I heard a group of fans shouting towards me.

"Posty! Posty! Posty!"

I smiled and waved, grateful for each and every one of them.

I sighed as I got into the car. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my notifications.

Hoping, wishing, praying that I would see her name.

Nothing.

*****

I couldn't wait to have some time to myself.

I arrived back to my hotel after being out for the majority of the day.

Between preparing for the show, performing, and then going to the club for the crazy after party, it was beyond hectic.

I was finally alone. I glanced at the time.

4:12 am.

I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair.

I walked out onto the balcony as I stared out at the beautiful night sky. 

I reached inside the front of my shirt and pulled out her necklace that was tucked in. I ran my finger over the A in the center of the heart.

I thought about the last time I saw her.

I kept replaying that night over and over in my head.

I thought about how I just let her walk out the door.

I felt a sudden pain in my chest as I closed my eyes and felt the tears filling them once again.

How could I let this happen?

I finally met the girl of my dreams.

She was perfect in every way. She was beautiful, funny, and a breath of fresh air.

Her annoying laugh, her sarcastic attitude, the way her eyes lit up when she was excited.

Anytime I was stressed about the constant demands of my lifestyle, she was the one thing that kept me sane.

She was the one thing in my life that made me feel normal.

She was mine.

Was.

Past tense.

And now she's gone.

I knew being in a long distance relationship with a regular girl was going to be hard. But I never thought it would end like this.

Why didnt I realize how badly she was hurting over us being apart?

It killed me being away from her but the thought of us breaking up never crossed my mind.

I was working on new album, I was on the biggest tour of my career, I was in a different city every night.

I was surrounded by my team and tons of people that cared about me. I had everything I could ever want.

Fans. Money. Fame.

What was the point of it all if I didn't have the one person that made it all worth it?

None of it mattered without her by my side.

No matter how busy I was, she always crept her way back into my mind.

Every day since she's been gone has been a daily struggle. I have to get up and live my life and pretend everything is okay.

Even though I just want to break down and cry.

As much as I just wanted to hide from the rest of the world, I knew I couldn't let my fans down. They were counting on me and I knew performing would be an outlet for my built up feelings.

Though it hasn't been easy, letting my emotions out on stage has been the only thing helping me through this break up.

After Amelia left, I felt numb. Empty and broken.

I couldn't stand being away from her.

Knowing that she lost all hope in our relationship and wouldn't even talk to me, made the cut even deeper.

I reminisced on all of the good times we had together and thought about the future we weren't going to have.

Within a blink of an eye, she became just a memory.

A ghost that lived in my past.

What tore me up inside, was that I never got the chance to tell her I was in love with her.

That was my biggest regret. I couldn't help but wonder if that would have saved us.

I must have checked my phone a million times since she left, but she never responded.

It took everything in me not to keep texting her.

She was stubborn and I knew she wouldn't reply even if she wanted to.

How could I keep living this way? I had so much on my plate and I needed to focus on my career. Too many people were counting on me.

I was getting drunk every single night to the point of nearly passing out just so I didn't have to feel anything.

I was sleeping even less than usual.

I couldn't keep going down this self destructive path any longer.

The feelings of heart break were eating me up inside but I had to be strong.

I had to get used to the pain.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and clicked on her name.

I let out a long sigh. "Goodbye Amelia." I whispered as I pressed block.