Plan B

18

"Blah blah blah..." This is all I could hear during Geography class. I had a lot going through my mind.

There was Dale to think about. We had never spoken since the day we... had competitions. I hated this trend of silence that we had.

There was Charlie; an amazing guy I met not too long ago. We were basically just friends, although I'm not sure if this is what I really expected it to be.

Most importantly, there was LINDSEY. No one had any idea about them. Were they alive?  Had they arrived? Did they DIE? This is my worst fear yet.

I was also anxious to know about the Drama Competition results.

"... and that is the theory of the Nebula." Lesson was over.

I went to Mr. Paisley's office but he was nowhere to be seen. I could have sworn I saw him earlier. I decided to go back to class to take my bag pack and head straight home to feed Lindsey. Also I didn't want to see Dale. We were in an awkward state.

Before I got to class, I noticed a large crowd of people at the notice board but the crowd was too big. I was too short to see anything. I jumped twice in an attempt to see.

"Guys... guys... guys!" The crowd fell silent,"Can we please have some order here?"

"You shouldn't try to seek attention at a time like this," one girl told me, "You should be ashamed." After that everyone in the crowd started speaking and dispersing.

I noticed Dale was in the crowd but I pretended to focus on what was on the notice board. I managed to squeeze through the now small crowd.

I just wondered why that girl was rude to me.

"MANAGEMENT OF SANDERS HIGH REGRETS TO INFORM YOU OF THE TRAGIC LOSS OF OUR STUDENTS ON A FULLY SPONSORED TRIP TO EGYPT. THE AIRLINE REPORTED THE ACCIDENT HAPPENED BEFORE THEIR ARRIVAL. AT LEAST 101 PERISHED ON THE SPOT WHEREAS 8 SURVIVED AFTER BEING RESCUED BY SAILORMEN. ONLY ONE OUT OF OUR THREE STUDENTS SURVIVED. HE HAS BEEN IDENTIFIED AS ANGELO JACKSON. WE THEREFORE ANNONCE THE DEATH OF BELLA CERRY AND LINDSEY PARK..."

I stopped reading from there. I stared at the name LINDSEY PARK for so long. My pulse increased. My breathing rate was fast.

"No... NO!" I shouted moving back slowly. My back gently hit some lockers behind me. I was having a hard time comprehending the information I had just received.

Flashing images of Lindsey rushed through my mind. My face was in my hands as I leaned on the lockers crying. The pain was too strong; I felt it in my veins as my blood rushed through them.

I remember Dale calling my name. He was there, squatting on my right side asking me to calm down. Kelsie showed up and she quickly knelt on my left side trying to get me to stop crying. She knew exactly why I was in this state.

I would stop crying,  then remeber everything about Lindsey and start again. Kelsie could only say three words,"Calm down Kristie... Kristie come down."

"Let's take her to my car,"Dale finally said, "I'll take her home."

"It's okay I can take her," Kelsie said, "I have a ride outside."

"You do?" Dale asked all surprised.

"Yes."

By this time I was quiet; lost in my thoughts.

"Allow me," Dale said before lifting me off of the ground.

"Follow me,"Kelsie said leading the way to her unique parking spot.

"Why are we going out of school? The parking lot is that way."

"I know, but my car is this way."

For a moment I forgot my pain and I could feel how soothing it was to be carried around like a child.

"Here we are," Kelsie said unlocking the car.

"Now that's a sportscar!" Dale was surprised to see Kelsie's car. Kelsie opened the back seat door and Dale put me there gently.

"You'll be okay," he said before closing the door. He talked to Kelsie for a while before they hugged. That took me by surprise but I had more depressing issues in mind. I didn't even ask.

The ride was silent all the way. Usually, Kelsie plus me in her car equals loud music, gossip and crazy laughter. Today was the exact opposite.

We arrived at my place. My eyes were puffy from crying.  I felt so weak that I struggled to stand. I was hoping that all this was a dream and I would wake up and find everything the way they are supposed to be.

I saw Charlie down the street. I did not want him to see me but any attempts made to get to the house would sell me out.

"Kelsie! Open the car!" I quickly said.

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

"Fine. Let me get my car keys from the..." Kelsie's sentence was long; long enough for Charlie to see me.

"Hey! I'm going for a walk. Would you like to join me?" He asked loudly from across the street. Of course I really wanted to but I couldn't go in this state.

"She's actually, uh, not feeling so well today. You should probably just go."

"Oh come on! I have two tickets to Kent Starks' latest movie, Tropical Terror," he said waving two tickets in the air, I understand. I'll just go." He then walked away.

"You didn't tell me about that guy," Kelsie said smiling.

"He's Charlie." Kelsie looked on as if she was waiting for me to say something else, "Let's get in." I told her. I found my mom home.

"You're just in time. I'm baking brownies and they are almost ready. Hello Elsa!" My mom then noticed my red puffy eyes. I looked away then I started crying again.

"Oh Kristina,  what happened? Elsa what's the problem!?"

"It's actually Kel-sie and Kristie's been like this because one of our close friends died in a plane crash. Her name was Lindsey."

Hearing these words refreshed the picture in my mind and it weakened me.

"Help me take her upstairs," My mom said and she and Kelsie took me upstairs where they left me to release my grief.

My mom brought me a box of tissues. She placed them on my bed beside me and slowly closed the door on her way out.  I used one by one throwing them on the floor until the box was empty. I literally meditated as every piece of tissue fell on the carpet and pictured how the plane crash happened.

It can't be true. Lindsey CAN'T be dead. She just can't leave me like that. She had a whole life to live! She had a bright future because she was smart and intelligent. 

She loved life, but I guess life didn't love her enough. People will say it's part of life. People might say it's for the best... maybe its true. Maybe it's for the best. She doesn't have to face the troubles this earth offers each and every single day. She can't feel hate, anger or sadness. She doesn't need to struggle anymore!  Maybe death is a reliever because it gets rid of your problems and bitter feelings instantly. It doesn't matter what we do, where we go, who we become or want to become in future...We will all eventually die.

The pain will be felt by those who genuinely loved you. It will hurt those who cared for you. It might take a very long time to move on and get used to the fact that you're gone. I'm just wondering how long it's going to take ME.

I will forever and always remember Lindsey;  especially with my halved heart necklace and Lindsey, the pup... where IS Lindsey?

"Lindsey! Lindsey!" I called out to her.

"Woof!" She appeared right under my pile of used pieces of tissue.

"Ooooh no. Let's get you out of there. In fact I'll give you a wash right now."