You did this to me, March 17th.
I cried the hardest that day, and couldn't sleep.
The day after my freaking birthday.
I broke in front of the girl I'm strong for.
And I pushed out another person I loved because of you and I shut the door.
All so he doesn't realize what you did.
How close I was to feeling okay, and how you ruined it.
All with one touch, with a few words.
And everything went down a hell hole.
I screamed no.
So much.
You almost ruined everything again.
Ever had to watch someone you love get beat up right in front of you and feel powerless against it?
Had to watch your family scream from pain and fear?
Had to watch everyone you love slowly become numb because they've gotten so used to the fact that things are never gonna get better?
I had to watch.
Because of you.
I used my hands to cover up her eyes.
She was too young.. too innocent.
She didn't need to see that.
She didn't need to hear that.
I didn't need to see that either but... life isn't fair is it?
I'm done.
You did this to me.
Every time I do something to myself... I think of you.
And other people too... but you're 100% in that group of people.
But I can't find it in myself to hate you.
You gave me my sister for crying out loud.
But you also...
Ugh.
I just, I'm tired.
Of everything.
Of being connected to you, and knowing you'll never leave.
Having my name on your body... so you don't forget me.
I hate you.
But I don't.
You ruined my life.
And it scares me everyday because I stayed cause of you.
I fucking stayed cause of you.
To protect them if you came back.
And... if you don't come back... what's the point?
2 years.
2 years and it'll all be over.
You know... I carried the pills with me everywhere I went.
They're still in my bag.
Just 2 years... and I'll drive away.
And there's nothing that's keeping me here.
Except for the people I care about... and in 2 years, they'll forget me.
They'll make me friends.
They'll replace me.
And I'll just be another girl they met.
Another mistake in their life.
Another problem.
