To a certain person... I had something to tell you..
I told you I couldn't do it over the phone.
And it would be way to hard to do face to face.
And it was what went through my head.
A long time ago... you told me if I ever had those thoughts... call you.
I call you first.
Before anyone...
And to be honest... I would.
But I didn't.
And I can't.
I can't do that to you.
Plus... I don't mean THAT much to you.
I can't.
I'm me.
I'm ugly... and fat... and... i just don't understand.
I don't understand how you can see something in me.
To person 1:
You told me I was beautiful... that was a big lie.
"... I'm sorry.
You do know I would never stop caring right?"
No, I don't know that.
"Even today I literally asked u how u were... And when u said in fine.. I just felt defeated.... I felt i lost something"
I don't know why you felt like that.
Cause you lost something.. yh... but you should've been happy.
Why... why weren't you happy...?
"What are we...?
I mean, one day, we're talking, and the next...
I just don't understand why we're friends.
I need you in my life, yeah. I know that.
That's a big part. I need you.
But... we argue so much.
We argue more than best friends should... but we have our reasons.
But I had a serious problem today.
I started crying and the first person I thought of to help me... was you.
And when I texted you... I told you I had a problem.
Cause I needed advice.
And you're response was, "Ok"
So I got upset, and left.
I texted someone else.
I had to explain the basics of what was going on without going into depth.
Why?
Cause you didn't care.
I needed you, and you weren't there.
And I get it. I act like this a lot, I'm dramatic. Attention seeking. And you got tired of hearing my problems.
But I needed you... and I felt so sick to the point where I had to talk to someone else that wasn't you.
He wasn't you.
I'm sorry it's like this.
We fight, but we love.
We care, but we hate.
We piss each other off
Every. Single. Day.
But we get through it and we know that we'll always be there for each other if something's wrong.
But that wasn't the case.
You reminded me of [******].
He used to do that too.
Say ok to something I said that was important.
And it hurt, and it's the main reason I do NOT speak to him anymore.
You asked me if I was up...
I didn't respond.
You told me you stabbed yourself.
And you didn't eat.
And that you missed my voice.
You know what I miss?
The feeling of knowing you'll always be there for me when I need you.
I don't know where that feeling went...
I know it's there somewhere.
But I just... I don't feel it anymore."
I wrote that one day... a day I regret.
I took things out of context... and for a long time... i lost you.
And it hurt.
So bad...
You'll never understand how much I cried cause I lost you.
I lost you.
And it's all my fault.
I thought you cared... which is why I pushed you away... but... I don't know anymore.
Do you care?
I mean... I can't tell.
You don't.. confide in me like you used to.
You don't... look at me the same...
I'm not as important to you as I used to be.
