Counting Stars • [Casey x Izzie]

Kissing Her Goodbye

Izzie

I gasp awake, my heart beating electricity with each pump.

The surge of air that attacked my lungs caused me to cough and clear my throat. Only when a drop of moisture fell from my eyelashes did I realize how much I was sweating.

It was just a dream... it was just a dream. 

The acceleration of my heart wouldn't come down, not after a minute or five. I couldn't stop the thoughts from harassing my heart. 

Casey would never cheat on you, I had to tell myself over and over. 

But she cheated on Evan with you, my brain contradicted. 

I abruptly shook my head and buried my face in my hands as an attempt to get out of my own head. I just wanted it to stop; the doubts, the worry, the pain. Stop. Stop. Stop!

"Izzie?"

I snapped my eyes at my door, not realizing that someone had opened it. My mom walked through the frame and I had the slightest hope that it would be Casey coming in to ease the bad dreams. 

"Mom." I replied. 

"You're going to be late for school."

I took in the look in her eyes and they were somewhat... worried? What the hell could she be worried about? My attendance? My grades? She never cared about enough to give a shit about any of those things so I dismissed it. 

"I'll hurry then." I responded. Then to my surprise she asked, 

"Is everything okay?"

It was unusual seeing my mom like this. I had every right to question why she was acting like this. Her title may have been 'mom' but she was anything but a mother to me. 

I eyed her curiously. "Yeah just... a bad dream." I said honestly. 

She nodded awkwardly. The unfilled silence was painful. "Okay, well hurry because the kids are ready."

With that she left without giving me any indication as to what her intentions were when she came in here. But I shrugged it off, at least for the morning, however, the one thing I couldn't shake was the thoughts lingering in my subconscious and somehow leaked into my dreams. 

Is that really what I thought of Casey deep down? 

No, it couldn't be. I trust her with my life and dreams were random, right? 

Dreams are dreams. They're not real. 

My phone then suddenly blasted from under my pillow. I reached under and pulled it up, and my heart clenched when I read it was Casey. 

See, Izzie. She's calling, unlike your dream. So, get over yourself and answer her. 

"Hello?" I answered. 

"Izzie, thank god." She sounded relieved and breathless at the same time. 

"Why haven't you been answering me?" was what came out of my mouth. I figured it was the residual anger from my dream but I genuinely wanted to know. 

"Sam and I were at the aquarium and he made me knock my phone into a mini tank. It took all night to drain the water in some rice." She explained, and with each word untangling a knot in my chest. "I'm sorry if you were worried." 

I found myself smiling slightly. "It's okay, I was just worried you were..." I didn't know what I was about to say but I caught myself changing it. "I was worried about you, okay?"