Counting Stars • [Casey x Izzie]

Untitled Part 24

Casey

I snapped around to where the front door should have been locked so that we could hear Izzie's mom come in. But because of Nate, it wasn't. 

"Mom..." My girlfriend whispered. 

For the entire period of time that I had known her so far, I had never seen Izzie so small. On my first day of school she marked her territory. She let me know that she wasn't here to mess around, she was hard-headed and jaded; an attitude that I only interpreted as protective once I got to know her. She was protective of herself, her feelings and her thoughts. She was selective of who she let in and I had been fortunate enough to break down those walls, and even then, it took a while. 

It took months of subtle jokes inside the locker room. It took many lunches at our favorite diner, with her drinking the strawberry milkshake she always ordered to complement her burger. It took many, many sleepovers and movies she would fall asleep to in order to have her so completely unguarded and vulnerable. 

However, here, and now, it took her mother exactly one question to leave the tough and tenacious girl I had fallen for speechless and stripped. 

She was still standing. That let me know that there was still fight in her. 

We were all waiting for her to say something... Anything, Izzie. 

Then her mouth parted. Her mom's glare was directed right into her daughter's eyes, and if I had ever seen a maternal look from her mom this might have been heartbreaking. But I knew that Izzie was too accustomed to that glare to ever be completely fazed by it. 

It was sad, really. To be so used to disappointing and angering your own mother- the reason you have life- that you couldn't feel a shroud of affliction for anything she had to say. 

This time was different though. 

"You both need to go." Izzie's mom was the one that broke the silence. 

"Mrs--" Nate tried to say something but he was cut off by a furious looking mother. 

"Get out. I need to speak to my daughter."

He gave Izzie and I one last smug look each and I swore I had never wanted to attack someone so badly. 

Then there was just the three of us. 

I had always wanted to travel to the alps and hike the highest mountains. They told me that the atmosphere would make it hard to breathe, that you would feel tired and heavy. 

I could have never imagined the air at the top of those hills to be as thick as it is in this room. 

I stayed glued to the floor. I couldn't leave Izzie alone with her livid looking mom. I couldn't move at all even if I wanted to. 

Where I stood was where I was supposed to be... right beside Izzie. 

"Casey..." Izzie finally spoke. It was low and empty. She wasn't even looking at me. 

"Iz--" This time I was cut off by her. 

"Go."

I almost couldn't believe she actually said it. 

"Izzie, I can't--"

"I said go."

I stared at her with a bruised expression but she was staring at her mom blankly. 

What do you do when the person you wanted to stay with forever tells you to leave? 

How do you deal with the open wound that she could clearly see but chooses to ignore? 

How do you breathe knowing that she's down on the ground, anticipating a kick that would leave her winded and changed?

Who would she even be the next time I saw her?

I wanted her to look at me and say it. I wanted her to see my pleading eyes that were begging her not to hurt herself by doing this. I just wanted her to goddamn look at me!

"Izzie, look at me and say that."

She was hesitant. She held her gaze forward as she bit the side of her lip slightly; something she did when she didn't want to cry. 

But in the end she found the strength to do it. Her glazed irises met mine and I recognized them. I remember the way they hit the wild winds on my first day at Clayton. I measured how high the walls behind them were on that day, and right now... they were even higher. 

"Go." She said. 

So I did.

**

So... I have exams in three weeks. WTF. But that's why I haven't updated :( Soweee but wish me luck. 

I hope you're all doing well and staying happy. 

See you in the next chapter xo